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Bullies are Manipulative
There is a certain class of bully that is really slippery to catch, they are master manipulators and know how to get away with bullying without getting caught. Bullies will hide their tracks and even manipulate other kids into bullying their target, so they can’t be held accountable. One mother knew a child was bullying her daughter, the bully was a popular girl at school, a good student and the nobody at the school would take the families’ complaints seriously. While the parents “knew” she was the mastermind and instigator, some form of proof was required to get corrective changes at the school. Similar problems can arise not just with kids but with after school care, coaches, supervising adults etc, where sometimes the kid is believed last if he has a problem.
Bullies don’t bully in the classroom
Even when a bully has been identified by the school and they are being monitored, they can be difficult to catch without evidence (which for bullying is best as audio/video). The school will often ask other kids who saw something happen to be witnesses, and younger children don’t always fully understand what happened in a bullying situation. Getting teachers to watch for behavior is often ineffective – bullies don’t do it in front of the teacher, they do it away from the lunch monitors away from the teachers. Another hurdle is the HALO effect, where teachers or leaders don’t believe the bully is capable of bullying. For example, the most manipulative cunning bullies can be the captain of the football team or a straight A student, and the teachers don’t believe that the student would bully anyone. When one boy was caught out for being a bully, he lied directly to three teachers claiming he never did anything wrong, he thought he could get away with it because of his squeaky clean image.
How to catch a bully
For the worst kind of repeated bullying there is a great solution that overcomes all these hurdles. Buy a covert minicam that can be switched naturally at key times and capture good quality video for a suitable period like an hour at a time, is ideal even for elementary students. There are pen like products that can be clipped on to a coat pocket at chest height, and switched on easily by pushing the top of the pen. They can last over an hour of recording time per charge and the quality is good for identifying people. Yes, cells have cameras but first are often not allowed at school, and second are obvious when recording, unlikely to pickup covert bullying then. I stress that this suggestion is only for the purpose of showing the relevant teachers/supervisors the video to get acknowledgement and corrective action, and not sharing beyond that, and you may want to check what others have done and the recording laws in your region.
So if your kids or you have a systemic persistent manipulative bully causing stress, fear and discomfort, and it is not being properly believed or acted upon, then using such spypen can make change happen the fastest, and also provide some confidence and peace of mind to the bullied that this will not continue unresolved or unacknowledged.
Sign up here: to watch the free workshop to bully proof your child. We will walk you through what to do to stop your child from being bullied.
Dealing with a Bully
- Can comebacks help with bullying?
- Can kids be friends after bullying?
- Reporting bullying to your child’s school
Catch a Bully in the Act
These hidden camera products are useful to quietly capture bully behavior without tipping off the bully.