How to answer when someone asks how much your adopted child cost

Adoptive parents are often asked a variety of personal questions about the adoption of their child, many of the questions are an invasion privacy.

The most insensitive question adoptive parents are asked has to be how much did your kid cost. You wouldn’t really ask how much it cost to buy a car or piece of furniture, so why on earth would anyone think that it is appropriate to ask how much child’s adoption cost? Children are priceless, there isn’t a return policy when you adopt a human being.

Even worse, many people will have the nerve to ask this rude question in front of the adoptive child. If a person insensitive asks this question in front of a child, you should definitely use one of our snappy comebacks and let the person know that they have crossed the line.

10 Best comebacks when someone asks how much an adopted child cost

1. Not nearly what he is worth.

2. Three easy payments of $19.95 plus shipping and handling.

3. My son? He’s priceless!

4. I’m sorry. He’s not for sale.

5. My daughter is a human being not a Prada purse.

6. My child is a treasure that cannot be quantified.

7. The joy and love my son brings is priceless.

8. Her presence is invaluable.

9. The cost is nothing compared to the love my child brings.

10. I don’t feel comfortable having this discussion.

Why do people ask how much your adopted child cost

People may ask parents about the cost of adopting a child out of curiosity about adopting a child or a lack of understanding about the adoption process. Adoption is a very emotional journey, and people may feel uncomfortable or sensitive about answering this question.

Some folks like to think of things in terms of money, but a child’s worth can’t be quantified. You may wish to redirect the conversation to the joy and fulfillment that comes with being an adoptive parent.

How to deal with people asking how much your adopted child cost

When people ask how much your adopted child cost, you may find it rude and frustrating. If you are in front of your child, you probably want to respond gracefully and look at as an opportunity to educate someone.

You can the let the individual know that children are a priceless gift that cannot be measured in monetary terms. You have the option to redirect the conversation to how much joy your child brings you.

If a person is looking to adopt, they may be wondering if they will be able to afford to adopt a child, and may be asking you for a truthful answer. Some parents have claimed that adoption was actually more expensive than an adoption agency claimed.

You have the right to set personal boundaries and you can decline to answer any questions regarding the financial aspect of your adoption.

Lila was asked how much her baby cost

Lila and her husband had always dreamed of becoming parents. After struggling with infertility, they decided to pursue adoption. They were thrilled when they were matched with a baby boy and began the process of bringing him home. However, Lila was not prepared for the insensitive comments she would receive as an adoptive mother. One day, while out shopping with her son, a stranger approached her and asked, “How much did he cost?” Lila was taken aback and felt hurt and frustrated by the comment. She knew that her son’s worth could not be measured by a price tag, and she wished that people could see adoption as a beautiful way to build a family rather than a transaction.

Despite the hurtful comment, Lila remained determined to be a strong advocate for her son. She knew that there would be many more insensitive comments and questions to come, but she was prepared to handle them with grace and dignity. She also made a conscious effort to educate others about adoption and to share her family’s story in the hopes of breaking down stereotypes and misconceptions. Lila knew that her son was a precious gift, and she was proud to be his mother, no matter what anyone else thought or said.

Over time, Lila’s efforts paid off. She began to receive more positive comments and support from friends, family, and even strangers. She also saw a shift in the way people talked about adoption, with more people recognizing it as a valid and beautiful way to build a family. Lila was grateful for the opportunity to be a mother and to share her story with others. She knew that her son was worth far more than any price tag, and she hoped that others would see the value in adoption as well.

More adoption comebacks you might like

• What to say if asked if your adopted children are really brothers
• Does it bother you that your adopted child isn’t your own?
• Read more answers to rude parenting questions

The Role of counselling and self care

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When you are dealing with people asking how much your adopted kid cost and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home. 

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with an ignorant person who asks how much your adopted child cost? Share them in the comments below.