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Ask Bryn

I have a really close friend, basically a best friend, but she is constantly saying nasty things and trying to annoy me and I don’t know why?  I’ve had enough of her bullshit and want to get it over with but I’d really like a few witty remarks to help?

Anonymous, UK

Hey,

Sometimes friendships change,and it can be extremely hurtful when people who are in our inner circle don’t really have our best interests at heart. When a friend makes snarky remarks and is antagonizing, you don’t really want to believe it, but there comes a time when you can’t ignore their nasty behaviour any longer.

I actually have two friends who had similar situations. They found it so stressful that both actually went to a counselor about the issue. The counselor told one friend that best thing to do is to dial the friendship back 95 percent -reduce time, contact, texts, meetups, but not cut things off completely. When you start to distance yourself by being much less available, no doubt she will be pissed about it! Expect you’ll feel some discomfort, and plan for that and to add some substitute activities and ramp up other relationships to compensate during the separating process. You don’t want to make an enemy and add drama to your own life, she is moving from an ‘A’ friend to a ‘C’ friend..

The comebacks below will let her know you are aware of her snarky behaviour, and call her out that you have a different standard of what you will tolerate and accept

Comebacks if she makes negative remarks

I didn’t order a glass of your opinion.

2. Is your drama going to have an intermission soon?

3. I can always count on you to relentlessly point out the negative.

4. Unless you’re a pregnancy test, take your negativity elsewhere.

5. If you can’t be positive then at least be quiet.

6. Please cancel my subscription; I have had enough of your issues.

7. You would be much more likeable if it wasn’t for that hole in your mouth that noise comes out of.

8. You should come with a warning label.

People can have different reactions to our growth because we are stretching ourselves in new ways.Certain people are only meant to be in your life for chapter, instead of the entire book.

Wishing you all good things.

Bryn

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The Role of counselling and self care

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When you are dealing with someone making snarky comments and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home. 

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

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3 Comments

  1. Fake friends suck. Don’t worry you are not alone we have all had the experience before and you will get through this. Good luck.

    -aruthweiuryfw

  2. I had a friend do this to me too. I found it very devastating, why would a friend be so mean to the people who are there for them?

  3. My friend did this once. Then I forgave her. One day I went home with a fever and didn’t come to school the next day and one of my real friends told me what she had said about me for the second time. I barely talk to her anymore

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