Stop saying that I like him

Ask Bryn

My friends keep saying I have a crush on this guy in our high school who is really mean. I can’t stand the guy who I am accused of having a crush on and it really annoying. Now other kids, who are not my friend,  are starting to say that I like this guy. HELP!

Anonymous, UK

***

Hey Anonymous,

It must really wind you up when someone says you like him and you don’t. Here are a few things you can say to shut them all up. Be calm when you use the comebacks, by overreacting you will give the impression that you do like him.

1. I’m sure he’ll make some girl that isn’t me really, really happy some day
2. I’d rather remove my own gallbladder with an oyster fork than go out with him.
3. If he was the last man on earth, I would let the human race die off.
4. If he was the last man on earth, and I was the last woman on earth I’d become a lesbian.
5. If only I hadn’t just enrolled in a convent…
6. My business isn’t your business. Unless you’re my thong, don’t be up
   my ass.

Good luck!

Bryn

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