snappy comebacks

My breasts are so huge

Lisa insults a friend by telling her that she could paint a room with her breasts in two strokes, but it would take her friend two weeks with her small chest.

Is that your real hair?

A man meets his girlfriends parents for the first time, and they want to know if it is he is wearing a toupee or if he still has his real hair.

I can tell he is an only child

A cashier at a store tells a mother that she can tell her son is an only child. The mother tells the cashier that she shouldn’t stereo type only children.