People who try to control your every move do so because they are insecure. You may be with a controlling person if they constantly criticize everything you do, isolate you from your friends and family, and try to change you while squashing your self-confidence and self-esteem.
I knew a flight attendant whose boyfriend, Dazza, would call her twenty times a day wanting to know her every move. Isabelle had to call him before going out because he wanted to know where she was going. If she didn’t tell him beforehand, he would get very angry. After a couple of years of his controlling behaviour, she received a phone call from another woman, who said that she thought they had the same boyfriend.
Isabelle didn’t think it could be true. She went to the woman’s house, and there was a picture, taken on vacation, of her boyfriend and this woman cuddled up. There were messages from him on her answering machine saying how much he loved her.
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The crazy thing is Dazza was just as controlling with his second girlfriend as he was with Isabelle.
Here are some snappy comebacks to let the controlling person know that you are not interested in being controlled or told what to do.
What to say to a controlling person
1. If I was meant to be controlled I’d come with a remote.
2. If you want to control everything, start with controlling your urge to speak.
3. There is nothing wrong with being a control freak if you’re controlling your own words, behaviour and attitude.
4. I find it incredibly unattractive when you use emotional manipulation to get your way.
5. I don’t allow other people to control the direction of my life.
6. I find it curious how people who have no self-control and respect for your feelings are the same people who demand self-control for you.
7. Everyone has a right to an opinion, and I have a right not to listen to it.
8. Go find someone else to control because you are not controlling me.
9. People often forget that it is your own choice of how you want to spend the rest of your life.
10. You. Cut out that egocentric control BS now.
Be prepared next time you have to deal with a controlling person
If you have to deal with someone who is controlling and who gives you a hard time, our bundle Snappy Comebacks any Situation can help you out. Be prepared for difficult people with clever responses on your phone or device any time or anywhere.
Why are people controlling?
There are many reasons why people may demonstrate controlling behaviour. Some possible reasons include:
1. Fear: A person may feel anxious or very insecure about a situation and they try to control it in order to reduce anxiety.
2. Trauma: People who have experienced trauma growing up may feel the need to control their environment in order to feel safe.
3. Personality traits: Some folks may have a naturally dominant or assertive personalities, which can lead to controlling behaviour.
4. Learned behaviour: A person may have learned controlling behaviour from a parent, figure, may continue to exhibit this behaviour because it is their normal way of being in the world.
5. Mental health issues: Certain mental health conditions, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or several anxiety disorders, can lead to controlling behaviour.
It’s important to note that controlling behavior can be harmful to relationships and can lead to feelings of resentment or anger from those around them. If you or someone you know is exhibiting controlling behaviour, it may be helpful to seek support from a professional.
If you are in a situation where you are dealing with an impossible controlling person, Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counsellor from the comfort of their own home.
More comebacks you might like
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Famous people who have been called controlling
There are many famous people who have been called controlling throughout history. Here are a few examples:
1. Steve Jobs – The late co-founder of Apple was known for being s perfectionist and micromanaging staff, which some employees found to be controlling.
2. Martha Stewart – The lifestyle guru has been accused of being controlling in both personally and professionally, with former employees and associates claiming she can be very difficult.
3. Kanye West – The rapper and fashion designer has been described as controlling by former collaborators and friends, who have cited his intense personality and desire for creative control.
4. Taylor Swift – The pop star has been accused of being controlling in her relationships and professional dealings, with some critics claiming she has a “squad” of friends who do her bidding.
5. Simon Cowell – The music executive and talent show judge has been called controlling by contestants and former colleagues, who have described him as having a demanding management style.
6. Kim Kardashian – The reality TV star has been accused of being controlling by her ex-husband, Kris Humphries, who claimed she dictated his every move during their brief marriage.
Ariana Grande – The pop singer has been described as controlling by some former employees and collaborators, who have cited her strong opinions and desire for creative control.
The Role of counselling and self care
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When you are dealing with people who try to control you and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.
Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home.
Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.