It’s an awful feeling when someone you thought was your friend turns out to be your frenemy. There is nothing worse than having someone who is not on your side but is in your inner circle of friends. As soon as you find out that a frenemy does not have your best interests at heart, stop sharing anything personal immediately.
Kara became friends with a girl who had transferred to her college and didn’t know anyone. Being kind, Kara invited the new girl, Lila, to events and parties that her group of friends attended. After a while, she noticed that Lila started hanging out with every one of her friends that she introduced her to without including Kara.
One night Kara found out about a party that Lila was going to via Instagram. When she ran into Lila at Starbucks, she asked if she had plans that evening. Even though Lila had a party planned, she said she had nothing going on and didn’t tell or invite Kara. At that moment, Kara realized that she was a frenemy, not a true friend. Kara was hurt and devastated, and she was done with the friendship.
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Don’t waste hours of your time trying to figure out what went wrong in the relationship. There’s a pretty good chance you did nothing wrong. For all you know, your frenemy could be jealous of you or feel competitive, or it could be their pattern.
These clever comebacks will let your frenemy know that you know that they are venomous and are not interested in hearing their snarky insults and offensive comments.
Top Ten comebacks for Frenemies
1. I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize that it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of unreasonable behaviour.
2. The only people I owe my loyalty to are the people who never made me question theirs.
3. Actions speak louder than words. There is nothing further for us to discuss.
4. The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.
5. I’m sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the way you treat everyone all the time.
6. Don’t treat me the way you would never want me to treat you.
7. Some people find fault like there is a reward for it.
8. The only people I owe my loyalty to are the people who never made me question theirs.
9. I’m sorry that you’re insecure about yourself and you constantly have to worry about every move I’m making.
10. I would rather have an honest enemy than a fake friend.
Definition of a frenemy
A frenemy is someone who appears to be a friend but harbors resentment against you. This portmanteau is a blend of the words “friend” and “enemy,” ergo, the term “frenemy.”
In a nutshell, frenemies can be anyone in your circle whom you enjoy being around, but also secretly competes with you. They can jab you with insults the moment your back is turned at every opportunity.
With that, this pretend-friend can be really daunting because they’re quite good at scheming, which in turn makes it harder for you to know whether to trust or not.
Thus, it is necessary to be wary of the red flags and to set some boundaries, keeping them at a healthy arm’s length.
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How to deal with a frenemy
Sure enough, dealing with a frenemy requires a serious brain workout, but here are some tips that you can try to get their negative influence out of your space.
1. Set boundaries
Setting clear boundaries is an act of protecting yourself, specifically your mental health.
This means looking after your personal space by limiting your engagements with your frenemy and removing yourself from certain points of conversation.
2. Be honest
We say, “Talk it out.”
If you feel comfortable, you can try to have a genuine one-on-one conversation with your frenemy. Pour your heart out and speak about your main concerns, but be ready for them to deflect or worse, deny their actions.
3. Don’t engage in their drama
No one loves drama, more than the frenemies — it’s the fuel to their fire. So, if it’s just gibberish talk, don’t engage to avoid getting tangled up in their games.
Never let your feelings overpower your intelligence. The trick is to learn to master your emotions.
4. Surround yourself with positive people
Positive energy is quite infectious. So, if you often hang out with people with good vibes around them, you’ll most definitely catch it.
Not just in handling frenemies, but life, in general, requires you to have a strong support system that can give you an encouraging push and be your pillar of support when you need it the most.
5. Focus on yourself
Here’s an important message to you: Love yourself.
Instead of focusing your energy on your frenemy’s web of dramas, you can take that internal journey towards happiness.
Shower yourself with some “me” time by engaging in what you love doing the most. This gives you a sense of control in your life, in times when you’re burning up with havoc.
Yes, dealing with a frenemy is challenging, but it’s paramount to put “you” first. Your well-being and happiness should be prioritized. If your so-called “friend” becomes toxic, then perhaps, it’s best to burn bridges and walk away from that relationship before it burns you.
Be prepared for a frenemy
If you have to deal with a difficult person who gives you a hard time, our bundle Snappy Comebacks any Situation can help you out. Be prepared for challenging people with clever responses on your phone or device any time or anywhere.
The Rock and Vin Diesel were acting like frenemies while filming Fate of the Furious
The Rock and Diesel have been in four furious movies apparently have had enough of each other for a lifetime and can’t even stand to be in the same room together. The Rock took to Instagram to share a post about one of his furious co-stars:
Some [male co-stars] conduct themselves as stand up men and true professionals, while others don’t. The ones that don’t are too chicken shit to do anything about it anyway. Candy asses.- The Rock
Famous people who have been frenemies
Apparently, Tinseltown is the breeding ground for drama. So, if you love some spectacle, here’s a list of famous celebrity frenemies whose friendship is soured at best.
1. Taylor Swift and Katy Perry
From bffs to frenemies, Taytay and Katy’s friendship has completely gone for the worst. Their long-standing dispute was due to a fight over backup dancers.
Since then, these two mega pop stars have been exchanging diss tracks and jabs. But their feud seemed to have ended in 2018, finally, when Perry sent an olive branch and letter to the “Bad Blood” singer.
2. Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton
Once upon a time, Kim Kardashian was Paris Hilton’s PA. Ultimately, they had a falling out and then became widely known to be frenemies. Not for long though, as they’ve managed to patch things up and are now on good terms.
3. Jay-Z and Kanye West
Jay-Z and Kanye West were like two peas in a pod. They’ve collaborated in a lot of popular rap music over the years. However, their “best buddies” status became strained over personal and professional differences. They’ve made up since, back to being all chummy at public outings.
4. Madonna and Lady Gaga
Two pop icons from two different generations, Madonna and Lady Gaga have great admiration for each other. They even collaborated on numerous projects together. Yet, amidst their unique bond, these megastars have a tumultuous relationship.
You see, Madonna once called the “Bad Romance” singer’s music “reductive.” Gaga shot back and openly accused the “Queen of Pop” of copying her style.
5. Mariah Carey and Jennifer Lopez
When asked about Jennifer Lopez, Mariah Carey infamously responded, “I don’t know her.” If that didn’t scream frenemies for years, we don’t know what is.
These two divas’ longtime feud dates back to 2001, and is still going steady and strong. In Mariah’s 2020 memoir, the “Butterfly” songstress added fuel to the fire and gave JLO the complete Voldemort treatment, referring to her as “She Who Must Not Be Named.” Yikes!
We know how entertaining it is to watch rich and famous people going at it in public. But, as amusing as it is to gawk and discuss other people’s lives, we should all remember to heed our reality and focus on our own positive relationships.
The Role of counselling and self care
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When you are dealing with someone who turns out to be your frenemy and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.
Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home.
Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.