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Dealing with difficult people

5 Powerful phrases for dealing with difficult people

Powerful phrases for dealing with difficult people

All of us have to deal with difficult people at some point in our lives. It could be your boss, sister in law or your child. 

It’s important to stay calm and respectful when dealing with difficult people, as this can help to defuse the situation and make it more likely that you will be able to find a resolution.

Dealing with difficult people can be challenging, but there are some phrases that may be helpful in managing the situation.

5 Useful phrases when dealing with difficult people

  1. “I understand how you feel.” This shows that you are empathetic and are trying to see things from their perspective.
  2. “Can you help me understand what you need?” This statement helps to clarify their position and can also help to diffuse tension.
  3. “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to upset you.” This can help to deescalate the situation and shows that you are willing to take responsibility for your actions.
  4. “Could we try to find a compromise?” This shows that you are willing to find a solution that works for both of you.
  5. “Let’s take a break and come back to this later.” Is a great phrase if things are getting heated, it can be helpful to take a break to cool down and come back to the discussion when you are both in a more level-headed state.

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Jenny’s family were tired of her difficult ways

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Jenny’s siblings had always found her difficult to deal with. She was the kind of person who would ruin a family  event and would get upset if she didn’t get her way. One year at Christmas, she sat in the corner  and refused to watch a holiday movie, a family tradition that had been going on for years.

The difficult behavior started when Jenny  was younger, but it continued as she got older and she didn’t seem to gain the maturity of her siblings. Jenny left her family wondering why she was so disagreeable and difficult to deal with?

If you are experiencing frustration dealing with a difficult person you can take advantage of the resources and support available to you. BetterHelp, an online counseling service, can match you with a therapist and then you can text, call or video conference with.  It can be helpful to talk to someone outside of your family to get an unbiased understanding of the situation.

Why do people behave in such a difficult way?

There are many reasons why people have difficult behavior. 

Some possible explanations are:

  1. They are experiencing negative emotions: People may act difficult if they are feeling stressed, angry, frustrated, or overwhelmed. These emotions can cause them to behave in ways that are challenging or confrontational.
  2. They feel threatened: People may act difficult if they feel that their needs or interests are being threatened. They may become defensive or combative in order to protect themselves.
  3. They have communication barriers: People may act difficult if they have difficulty expressing their needs or understanding others. This could be due to language barriers, cultural differences, or other communication challenges.
  4. They have past traumas: People may act difficult if they have experienced past traumas or have unresolved emotional issues. These experiences can affect their behavior and make them more prone to reacting negatively in certain situations.
  5. They have personality traits that make them challenging: Some people may have personality traits that make them more prone to acting difficult. For example, they may be naturally confrontational or have a tendency to be controlling or dominant.

It’s important to keep in mind that people may act difficult for a variety of reasons, and it can be helpful to try to understand the underlying causes of their behavior in order to find a resolution.

More posts you might like:

5 powerful phrases for the difficult people in your life.

Do you have any powerful phrases that people can use when dealing with difficult people that you think others should know about? Leave it in the comments below.

Don’t listen to what people say

Don’t listen to what people say

Don’t listen to what people say when it comes to opinions or advice about your life. People are always going to have an opinion about what you should be doing and how you should live your life.. It’s human nature, it’s not surprising that your mom, your sister, and your best friend have something to say about your situation. 

Some people shouldn’t be giving advice yet they do it anyway. And a lot of the time, you shouldn’t listen. 

Here’s a criteria to see if you should listen to what people say and determine if their advice is relevant. 

Has the person achieved the goal that you are trying to accomplish?

Don’t’ listen to what people say when they squash your dreams

You should never listen or take advice from a person who hasn’t achieved the goal that you are trying to achieve. It’s kind of like your broke neighbor telling you how you should invest your money in crypto currency. Do you think you should listen to your brooke neighbor or from Warren Buffett, who has made billions of dollars and has success everywhere he turns? You could listen to your neighbor, but it’s probably not going to work out too well for you. 

If you are looking for a mentor, find someone who is at least five steps ahead of you or has accomplished the goal. There are coaching programs out there for almost everything nowadays. I have a coach who has accomplished the goal I am working towards with my online business. I often find his advice hard to take, and painful but it helps me get closer to the result I am looking for. Without his honest feedback, it would take me a lot longer to get to the top of the mountain.

WANT TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF?

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Is the advice relevant for today’s world?

Don’t listen if the advice is not relevant today

Some folks from different generations like to tell others what they should be doing. News flash, the world has changed dramatically from twenty years ago. You should also not listen to advice that isn’t relative for today’s world. 

My mother is always giving her grandson advice, but it’s relevant to a world 30 years ago that doesn’t exist today. She wants him to go to university to study any random subject just to come out with a degree. Modern companies like Google no longer base hiring on a degree, they give potential employees tests to see if they are capable of doing the job.

Companies like Upwork test people on their platform to see how proficient people are at a skill that they are offering like coding. Customer reviews on these platforms is what gets contractors hired today. There are many different new skills that young people need to learn.

If my son followed Grandma’s advice he would graduate with plenty of debt but not a lot of opportunities. With jobs being outsourced all over the world we have try different approaches and even think about starting a business. 

I don’t personally think it’s the best advice for today’s world. And my son listens. And he says thank you, and he’s pursuing his own goals. And it makes her very angry that he is not actually doing what she suggests, but he’s following people from the modern world who have the result that he wants.

Does the person giving you advice have their own agenda?

Don’t listen if someone has a personal agenda

If someone is trying to sell you something or they have an agenda you have to consider whether they have your best interests at heart or their own. Maybe the person does care about you, and they’re able to help you but if they are going to benefit from you making a decision to join their coaching program or do whatever, take it with a pinch of salt.  If the person does have an agenda, it may be the best course of action for you.

Don’t listen to haters or negative people

There are naysayers out there that love to shoot down other people’s dreams. The unfortunate part is that it is often our closest relatives or friends who shoot down what’s most important to us. There will always be dream squashers. Life is short, do what you want to do! 

Not everyone is capable or experienced enough to give you great advice. And you shouldn’t just be blindly listening to people because it could put yourself at risk. And they might mean well, but it’s still not helpful.

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Don't listen to what people say to you

Do you have a tip for determining when not to listen to what people say that you think others should know about? Leave it in the comments below.

Do their actions reveal their bad intentions?

How to tell if someone has bad intentions

I am watching a mesmerizing show called Succession, where the parents are indifferent or have bad intentions toward their children. 

A lot of us have experienced bad intent in a relationship where somebody will say the right thing, but their actions convey something different.

What really matters is intentionality, which can be either

  1. Positive for someone 
  2. Neutral as in, I don’t really care what happens to you
  3. Firmly against someone

WANT TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF?

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As in a video game, there are non-playing characters who are neutral, and you kind of just ignore them as you go about your video game. 

There are characters that are allies who are with you, which would be a positive parent or friend.

And then your enemy is someone that’s against you. And if you do nothing to counteract it, you get blown out in the game. 

So similarly, in the game of life, if you pretend, that person is for you when they’re not, you can be left vulnerable and exposed. The worst thing is when you have someone in your inner circle who has negative intentions toward you.

In a video game, Instead of recognizing the bad intent and fighting the enemy with weapons, they’re basically just standing there and getting shot. Some of us feel like we are getting shot when someone makes a negative comment or continually crosses our boundaries.

bad intentions quote

5 traits of people with bad intentions

  1. People with bad intent  don’t care if their actions have a negative effect on other people’s lives.
  2. When a person has bad intent they try to get a rise out of you and push your buttons.
  3. People with bad intent try to triangulate and turn others against each other.
  4. People with bad intentions have an agenda when they meet someone for their own gain.
  5. A person with bad intentions doesn’t care if they hurt you.

Does anyone in your life act with bad intentions towards others?

So my question for you is do you have anyone who is acting with bad intentions towards you? Just be aware and observe them the next time you are around them and see if you can put the person in one of the three intention categories.

You may need to set up some boundaries, which will help you set some limits with those who can be difficult or have bad intentions. Setting boundaries with others can truly change your life.

You only have one life to live, don’t waste it spending time with people who have bad intentions towards you

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Do you have a tip for determining bad intent that you think others should know about? Leave it in the comments below.

Do you have a problematic person in your life?

Dealing with a problematic person

We’ve all had problematic people in our life that caused us problem after problem and it’s not fun and it can be incredibly stressful.

When you look at a problematic person, look at the wake they leave behind them. Look at the aftermath, it’s like a boat with a ripple effect. 

You can look at their life and see a trail of strained relationships behind them, whether that be friendships that have turned sour, bad romances or how they have handled work situations.

How you do anything is how you do everything. If you think it is OK to treat your parent badly, then you probably think that it is OK to treat the other people in your life poorly.

Problematic people leave a wake behind them

Problematic people have a pattern of bad relationships

They may have had many issues with a lot of their key relationships. My cousin had a supervisor who joined her company a year and a half ago. Since the new boss arrived, three people who have worked with her have gone on medical leave, and the rest of her reports resigned within the last four months. The data doesn’t lie… the boss clearly has issues.

Problematic people like to blame others for their troubles, and are quick to make it known that it’s not their fault. Don’t blindly accept the blame from a friendship, a bad boss or a bullying situation with a difficult person. Most likely, you are not at fault.

Have a look at a person’s past and see if there’s a pattern. When we are dealing with a problematic person we are only responsible for our part of it and how we respond.

WANT TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF?

Our FREE Starter Guide will show you the 3 simple steps you can take right now to stand up for yourself so that you can feel confident. It’s a game changer–get it free for a limited time!

Ten Traits of Problematic People

  1. Problematic people are friends with someone one week and then falling out the next. They are constantly unfriending and refriending friends on Instagram.
  2. They ask you not to to speak to someone that they had a falling out with. Just because they don’t like someone doesn’t mean that you have to have an issue with the person.
  3. They cycle through their friendships quickly. It’s hard to keep up with their new best friend or boyfriend.
  4. With problematic people It’s never their fault. Someone is always to blame and they are never accountable for their actions.
  5. Problem people badmouth others behind their back even though they are nice to the person’s face.
  6. They lead smear campaigns against other people to make them look bad.
  7. They have a bad character and when things get stressful, their true personality is revealed.
  8. Problematic people tell you how you should be living your life even though they don’t have the results that you want in your life.
  9. They are dictators when you hang out with them. Problem folks have a my way or the highway approach.
  10. Everything is a big deal and they major in minor things. They get angry over the smallest thing, and you feel like you are walking on egg shells constantly.

Shutting down a problematic person

If you have someone in your life who doesn’t respect boundaries there is a pretty good chance that you are going to have to say something to get them to stop saying inappropriate things to you.

Our free guide How to Sand up for Yourself the Easy Way can help you out.

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Do you have a tip for dealing with problematic people that you think others should know about? Leave it in the comments below.

How to respond when someone tries to push your buttons

How to respond when people try to push your buttons or wind you up

I think we’ve all experienced this where someone is purposely trying to push our buttons. Then they turn around and they try and they play the innocent victim. 

The best way to respond to a situation like this is not to give the person the response that they’re looking for. 

Don’t get upset, that’s what they want. Instead, use a polite comeback that lets them know that their behaviour is not acceptable.

And once you can see how they are trying to manipulate you, and you’re prepared, they will no longer hold any power over you.

WANT TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF?

Our FREE Starter Guide will show you the 3 simple steps you can take right now to stand up for yourself so that you can feel confident. It’s a game changer–get it free for a limited time!

people who try to push your buttons
Photo courtesy of @understandingthenarc

I shared this screenshot about a narcissist who purposely tried to wind you up in a Facebook group and it resonated with a lot of people, and had 191 likes. 

A relative used to do this to me all the time in public. She would even have a sly smile as she gained satisfaction from publicly humiliating and hurting me.

People who push buttons are looking for a reaction from you

The term “dog-whistling” gave me a lot of clarity about the game that this person plays. From now on, I will be able to easily identify when someone has this kind of behaviour.

It is like the person is trying to poke you with a stick to see how upset they can get you. 

Don’t give them the satisfaction!

Here are some things you can say when people are trying to wind you up or push your buttons

  1. If you’re waiting for me to care it’s gonna be a while.
  2. Don’t push me to the point that I don’t care. Even I have my limits.
  3. Enough already! Do I need to duct tape your mouth today?
  4. Honestly, you remind me of a migraine.
  5. I  need to cancel my subscription to your issues. 

The best thing about it is that you can always be prepared for people who try to push your buttons, and expect it from them!

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Do you have a tip for dealing with people who push buttons that you think people should know about? Leave it in the comments below.

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