When your child is bullied

7 strategies to help your child deal with teasing at school

Most parents get very upset when they find out that their child is being teased at school. And it might even remind you of when you were in elementary school. 

If you grew up in a family who told you that you shouldn’t respond to being teased, it’s probably even more distressing for you. Because you were never taught the skills of how to verbally stand up for yourself. 
But there’s tons of different ways that you can help your child have a better experience if they’re getting teased at school, camp or wherever they go.

1.  Getting teased in elementary school is pretty much a given

I have received thousands of emails from parents and children about getting teased or picked on at school. And I want you to know that every child gets picked on at some point in time. And it would be very unlikely that your child will make it all the way to grade 12 without getting teased.

When your child expects to get teased at some point, then when it happens, it isn’t such a shock. 

Ask your child to come to you if they’re getting teased and let them know that you’ll help them come up with some ways to handle the situation.


Do you worry about your child being picked on? Our Bully Proof Your Child Guide will show you how to bullyproof your child in just 4 simple steps. It’s a game changer–get it free for a limited time!

2.  Don’t look at teasing with a victim mentality

A lot of times teasing isn’t personal. Sometimes it is, but a lot of times kids are just roaming the playground looking for someone to see who they can get a reaction out of. They’re just looking for potential targets. 

Make sure that your child knows that they’re not alone. Every child is going to go through getting teased at some point in time. And when we realize that it isn’t personal, it’s just something kids do. It’s a little easier to process and to handle. 

A mother who I will call, Caitlyn,was beside herself because her child was being bullied when in fact, it was just simple teasing on the playground. But she made it such a big deal. She made her son feel like a victim. And that he was a victim of bullying when it was simple teasing, she could have made it not a big deal and taught him how to respond and he would have been much better off.

Tell your child not to react when being teased

3.  Bullies are trying to trigger people

When bullies see a reactive kid, they’re like, Wow, perfect target. The bully is looking for how your child responds to being teased. So tell your child not to overreact when someone is trying to trigger them, let it roll off their back. 

Tell your child not to looked shocked or show a physical reaction when someone is trying to wind them up. If your child gets upset, the bully will probably continue

Tease your kids at home to prepare them for school

4. Allow banter and some fun teasing at home

You can tell kids whose parents don’t joke around or have any fun or teased at home, because when it happens to them at school, they’re absolutely shocked and flabbergasted. 

And there’s a blogger who I really, really respect. And she demands absolute respect at home with her children. And I can see why she wants that. And I think it’s an admirable goal. But one of her rules is no teasing. And if the older kids tease, they’re sent to bed with no dinner for the night. And it’s to teach respect. 

Well, that’s all fine but her daughter is going to be a perfect target when she goes to school because she’s never been in a situation where there’s teasing and she’s not going to know how to handle it compared to someone who’s used to fun and banter at home. 

In our house we tease and we joke around all the time. It’s not malicious. It’s just in a fun way with wit and humour. And I’ve trained my kids that when somebody picks on them, it just bounces off their back and to say something fun back, preferably with humour. And usually when you have quick wit or you have a really clever comeback or reply, it just sort of stops the bully in their tracks because it’s not what they’re expecting. 

And bullies  like to pick on people who are going to make them look foolish. So they’re not they don’t want people who are clever with the replies because that’s not an easy target. That’s a lot of hard work. So allow fun banter at home. 

Teenagers tease and razz each other

5. Understand that as kids get older and they become teenagers, they will razz and tease their friends

A teenager was telling me a funny story the other day and he was saying that to one of his friends. They could throw pinecones at him and he would still be standing. I asked what does that even mean? And he said that they just teased him so much and it just rolls off his friend’s  back, he doesn’t have a care in the world. 

And because he doesn’t over react  he doesn’t get wound up even more. And that’s a great way to handle it.  Because your friend group who loves you will be teasing you and your child needs to be prepared for that. 

One girl, I’ll call her Jojo was the only child and she didn’t experience teasing in her household. It was just her and her mom. And she had a friend’s make a joke that she was dating this boy, and obviously, he wouldn’t have been her type.  

But they just kept teasing her and winding her up. And a normal person would have laughed it off and said, Yeah, right. Oh, yeah, I just liked him so much have said something silly. But she just started sending direct messages to all of her friends saying. “Don’t you say this about me!” And how dare you embarrass me! 

And she had just really were not developed muscle in the area where it comes to friends just joking around or having fun. And she didn’t know how to respond. And she didn’t know how to handle the situation, as a lot of people at her age group would have.

Know that this is coming down the pipeline with friend groups. So when your child is that age, and the friend group is teasing, and it’s not malicious, expected and understand it’s just part of being a teenager. And this is very different from malicious, hateful speech. This is just joking around.

Teach your child verbal self defense to help with teasing

6. Set yourself up for success by teaching your children verbal self defense to deal with teasing

Now, I have to tell you, running a large verbal self defense website, I didn’t even realize that I would have to teach my children verbal self defense in advance. One of my kids was getting picked on and it escalated because of a covert highly manipulative bully. And if I had taught him some skills, we could have avoided a big part of the problem would it have happened, I can’t say, right. What I did after the bullying is I taught my son techniques that I teach my students in verbal self defense, and that’s what to say how to say it, and how to respond and how to be prepared, and shut down a bully in any situation. 

And I think it’s one of the best things that parents can do, because it is a given, you’re going to get picked on at some point in time. And it just brings unbelievable confidence. And you know, people like people who don’t respond. 

So when your child knows what to say, there’s a pretty good chance, it’s not going to get worse, and escalate. And of course, there’s always the exception. But I think it’s the best investment parents can make to bullyproof their kids is teach them verbal self defense. And the other benefit of it is it’s really quick. You can do it in an hour and a half with our system. And it’s a skill that lasts a lifetime. 

A lot of people that buy my products are like middle aged people who’ve never been taught this skill, and it leads to years of frustration. So learning it at a young age is such a blessing. You do your kid a huge,

huge favor. 


Do you worry about your child being picked on? Our Bully Proof Your Child Guide will show you how to bullyproof your child in just 4 simple steps. It’s a game changer–get it free for a limited time!

7. Teasing is a mental confidence game

So you want your kids to show up with unbelievable confidence. And the way you bully proof is you prepare children for events. So you tell them they’re going to be teased to tell them how to handle it. And they just show up with confidence and they know what to expect when things happen at school and they have a much better reaction than the kid who isn’t prepared. If you need a little bit of help bulletproofing your child I’ll include a link to our free workshop below. But just know there are a lot of things that parents can do to help their kids and to help them have a much better experience.

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Do you have a tip for shutting down teasing that you think others should know about? Leave it in the comments below.

7 ways to help your child shut down teasing quickly

Why does my child get teased by the kids at school?

Why does my child get teased

Parents often ask me, “Why does my child get teased?” The truth is, all kids get teased at some point in time. I’m sure when you think back to your own childhood, you were probably teased for something, and you can remember exactly why they made fun of you.

Usually, people get teased or made fun of for something obvious, like they have a big nose or red hair or they are overweight. That is usually the first thing people will point out and make fun of. 

We all have something that we can be teased about, and how you respond will determine whether the teasing is going to stop or continue. If you get upset and overwhelmed when someone is making fun of you, then the bully will know that you’re a perfect target, who will just take their abuse.

When a kid gets visibly upset and doesn’t respond when they are picked on, the bully will double down and pick on the child even more. 

Free workshop How to Bully Proof Your Child Quickly!… Even If You have no idea where to start, your child is having a hard time and you’re losing your mind with worry. And we’re giving it to you 100% free right now for a limited time. 


Get the BLUEPRINT that enables any parent to teach their child how to shut down teasing, and stop being a target for bullies in just 2 Weeks. Get started now with our FREE Bully Proofing workshop.

Teach your kids to shut down teasing quickly

The worst thing a parent can do is tell their child to just take it and not to say anything back, which can lead to the teasing escalating. You are basically putting a target on your child’s back to be picked on. 

Well meaning parents often say, “Be the bigger person and don’t say anything back.” Or they tell the child to go to the teacher to help sort things out. The problem with that advice is kids tease when the teacher isn’t around.

Parents need to give their children the skills to shut down teasing right away, and you can quickly do that with verbal self defense. Verbal self defense is a skill that can be easily taught within an hour. Many adults don’t know how to stand up for themselves because they were never taught as children, and it causes them endless frustration.

We have a process that works tremendously well and that kids can learn quickly in our bundle Verbal Self Defense for Kids Made Easy.

And the reason that it works is that  people just don’t know how to respond when you have an amazing comeback and they just move on to someone else. Think about it, nobody likes to be embarrassed, right? People’s brains are not wired to respond when they are caught off guard with a clever response. 

Who gets teased at school?

Kids who don’t respond or get upset are the first to be targeted. Would you tease someone who would respond with a funny reply or someone who will just take it? Obviously,  you aren’t going to pick on someone who says something clever back to you.

When you say something funny  back, they don’t know what to say, they’re going to start picking on someone else in their class.

Learning to shut down teasing is a life skill that kids can use to stand up for themselves for life. If you spend an hour teaching your child verbal self defense it can truly  be life changing.

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Got any comments, questions or tips for kids who are getting teased at school? Share them in the comments below.

Do you know why your child gets teased at school

Turning around a bullying situation around for your child

Turn a bullying situation around

Kids are going to need your help to turn a bullying situation around.  If your child is being bullied, most likely your child will not be able to figure it out on their own. 

You may feel paralyzed because you don’t know what to do. For parents it can be overwhelming to know where to start, and it can be emotionally devastating to find out that your child is being bullied and picked on. 

But there are things that you can do to help turn a bullying situation around. 

Step 1: Does your child project anything that makes them a bully target?

The first thing to turn the bullying situation around is to help your child show up in a new way. Often children have traits or behaviours that make them an easy target. 

And it’s not that they’re doing anything wrong. It’s just that a behaviour singles them out by other kids.

And the same things goes for adults. Adults have behaviorus that others judge them by. I don’t know about you but if someone was rude to wait staff I would definitely be put off. 

It’s time to put on your deductive reasoning hat and figure out what the problem is and see if your child’s doing anything to alienate peers.

 This can be done the same way doctors look at a patient to rule out symptoms. Once you are aware what is causing the problem, you can get to work fixing it. 

Free workshop How to Bully Proof Your Child Quickly!… Even If You have no idea where to start, your child is having a hard time and you’re losing your mind with worry. And we’re giving it to you 100% free right now for a limited time. 

Free workshop to bully proof your child

Step 2: Getting the schools help with the bullying 

The other thing that you need to do to turn a bullying situation around is work with the school. 

You need to find out what has been going on and report it to your child’s teacher. You may have a situation that is escalating and you need to get the principal involved to get it to stop.

Some bullies are extremely manipulative and often teachers have no clue that kids are being bullied.  The bully waits until the teacher is not around, and then they make their move. 

At first bullies often deny that they have done anything wrong. Parents need to be prepared when they talk to the school. You will need to extract and capture what exactly has been going on. 

Watch our free training on how you can bully proof your child. 

You can get the bullying to stop.

Your child is going need your help to turn this situation around. The sooner you assist your kid with the skills and support that they need the sooner it will stop. 

Bullying is truly a journey that no parents want to go through.  We have helped many families put an end to bullying quickly with our Bully Proof Your Child Tookit

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Got any comments, questions or tips for stopping a bullying situation? Share them in the comments below.

Free workshop to bully proof your child

Free workshop to learn how to protect your child from bullies

Sign up here: to watch the free workshop to bully proof your child. We will walk you through what to do to stop your child from being bullied.

All kids are going to get picked on at some point in time. And whether the bullying escalates or stops usually depends on how your child responds in the situation. 

A child can be teased because others are jealous, etc. But if your child has behaviour that’s causing them to be singled out and targeted, going to the teacher and complaining about it will only shut the bullying down temporarily.

It is like putting a bandaid on your child, it isn’t a long term solution.

The best way that we can help our kids is to make sure that they’re not doing anything to be singled out, or picked on. If they are getting picked on, they need to know what they can say, to make it stop immediately and not escalate.

How do I know all this you may be asking?  I’ve been through it with my own child, and it was traumatic and stressful, and I just wish that it could have been a whole lot easier. And it can be, if you know what to do, and make it stop right away. 

It was very painful for our entire family because what people don’t realize is that if your child is being picked on it affects the entire family because as a parent, you feel helpless because you’ve never been through this before and you want to protect your child and you may not have the tools to do so. 

Free workshop How to Bully Proof Your Child Quickly!… Even If You have no idea where to start, your child is having a hard time and you’re losing your mind with worry. And we’re giving it to you 100% free right now for a limited time. 

The three areas to bully proof your child are covered in the free training

If you want to know the three things, three secrets that you can use to help your child sign up for our free Bully Proof Your Child  training, and it will make life a whole lot easier for you and your child. 

The thing is you can’ t improve a situation if you don’t know what to fix. Kids can be bullied and singled out because they are missing major social cues. Parents can help a child improve the situation, with a few simple tweaks.

Another big shift can happen when kids are in grade 5, when many of the kids have matured and other kids are scrambling to learn the new social rules. Some kids can’t figure out why they no longer fit in with their friends or why they are giving them the cold shoulder.

When your child is being bullied or picked on it is like a puzzle that you have to figure out and get to the bottom of. It can take a long time, but when you know where to start it gets a lot easier to navigate.

I found out from kids why some children are excluded and bullied

There are quite a few variables to figure out. I interviewed young people to find out what helps kids fit in at school and what social clues lead to excursion. Let me tell you, it was an eye opener to find out why some kids are excluded or bullied.

Watch our free training on how to protect your child from bullies. Believe me, your child will be glad that you did.

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Bullying is incredibly stressful for the entire family

Bully is stressful for every member of the family

People don’t realize how much time it takes to deal with a bullying situation. Kids may not be forthcoming with information or can’t fully process why the kids at school are being so mean towards them. Parents have to figure out what is really happening with their child.

Bullying can be like a relationship break up in the sense that everything makes sense after the break up. You realize that someone has been giving you the cold shoulder over a period of time. For kids who have never experienced anything like this before, they may miss many of the social cues.

Free workshop How to Bully Proof Your Child Quickly!… Even If You have no idea where to start, your child is having a hard time and you’re losing your mind with worry. And we’re giving it to you 100% free right now for a limited time. 

There is so much that needs to be done to resolve a bullying situation

Parents need to report what happened to the school, and set up a meeting with the school. For parents who work, they have to take time off to go to a meeting with the principal and the teacher.

It is emotionally exhausting because you’re also trying to be strong for your child even though you feel like a nervous wreck yourself. When your child is bullied parents need to boost their child’s confidence and rebuild their self esteem, which has been under attack.

Bullying really affects the entire family, and parents need support too. Bullying is one of the most stressful things that a family can ever go through.  While you are dealing with the emotional turmoil of bullying you don’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with other things.

Bullying is not something that your child’s going to figure out on their own. Children need support when they go through a situation like this and it’s up to parents to provide guidance.

To make sure that the bullying doesn’t escalate it is important for parents to be advocates and help their child get the bullying to stop quickly. Things can escalate quickly when your child becomes a target.

We had been friends with the parents of the boy who bullied our son. After all of the stress this boy caused our entire family, I was done with all of them. The boy didn’t just bully our son, he caused an avalanche of stress on our family. 

Sign up here: 
to watch the free workshop to bully proof your child. We will walk you through what to do to stop your child from being bullied.

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Got any comments, questions about how bullying is stressful for the entire family? Share them in the comments below.