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When your child is bullied

Stop the teasing: How to put an end to bullying at school

stop the teasing in school

Understanding the reasons that kids tease

Teasing happens in every school, and it can cause a lot of stress for kids. Understanding why some children get teased and dealing with the effects can help your child have an easier time coping.

There are many reasons that kids get teased, and the answer is not always obvious. Sometimes it is because the child doing the teasing is seeking attention, they want to be admired or feel powerful with the other kids in the class.

Teasing can be used as a way to establish dominance over another child and to create a social hierarchy. Kids in higher grades can easily tease kids in the younger grades to quickly feel superior and important.

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Another reason that kids get teased is because they have a trait or behavior that causes a bully to single them out. It is important that parents assess if their child is doing any behavior that is making them an easy target for bullies.

Effects of Teasing

Teasing affects each student differently. Some kids have been taught how to handle it and they deflect with humor and the teasing isn’t such a big deal. For other kids who don’t know how to deal with being made fun of, teasing can be incredibly stressful.

effects of teasing in school

When a child is repeatedly teased and targeted by classmates, they may feel lonely and depressed. It can also make a child start to dislike school. If your child wants to stay home sick more than usual, take note that something more serious isn’t going on.

Teasing can lead to bullying, and it is important to give your child the skills to deal with it,  so they can shut it down quickly so the situation doesn’t escalate into full-blown bullying.

Building self-esteem in your child

If your child is being teased at school, it may lead to your child having a loss of self-confidence. Parents need to step up and support their child during this time. What’s important to remember is that building self-confidence is an ongoing process.

Developing coping strategies when your child is dealing with teasing

If your child is being teased you are going to want to teach your child some coping strategies as soon as possible.

Using Humour to deflect teasing

using humor to deflect teasing

Humor can deflect teasing quickly. Humor lets the bully know that your child doesn’t take themselves too seriously, and won’t get upset or be triggered by the name-calling.  After all, bullies are looking for a response and what they really want is for your kid to become visibly upset and react. 

The best way to shut down teasing is to reply with a funny comeback. Believe it or not, being quick witted is a skill that you can teach your child. Your child can learn how to respond to the child doing the teasing.

Teach your child how to respond with comebacks so they are prepared to deal with a bully. I find that clever replies are always the best, they leave the bully a little stunned, and most of the time they are not quick enough to come up with a reply.

If your child needs some help with this, or you need some help knowing what to teach your child, check out our bundle Verbal Self Defense for Kids Made Easy. 

Seeking support when your child is teased

Make sure that your child knows that they are not alone, there are adults and family who can help with the situation. 

Talking to trusted adults

talking to adults for support

Let your child know that they should come to you and tell you what is going on with the situation. Your child can confide in you and you can loop in the teacher. The teacher may be able to help you find additional solutions at school.  

Some people say the child should go straight to the teacher and report the teasing. There have been situations where children have been blamed for things that aren’t their fault at school. Another child has twisted the truth of what actually happened.

I would advise your child to tell their parents everything that happened, and then you can report it to the teacher.  It is important that parents are advocates for their children, it is a case of the squeaky wheel getting the grease.

Finding peer support at school

Your child is not the only kid to experience teasing at school. I am sure that all of their friends have been teased at school at some point in time.

finding peer support at school

One of the best things parents can do is help strengthen their child’s friendships during this time. Have kids over for playdates, so your kid will have someone to hang out with on the playground if it happens again. 

We want our kids to have allies on the playground because the bully is less likely to target a child in a group of kids than a child by themselves. Knowing that your child has a friend group for support, should give your child some relief on the playground.

More posts you might like that deal with teasing

Promoting a positive school environment

Schools should be creating a positive environment for kids and taking steps to put an end to targeted teasing and bullying. There should be a code of conduct listed on the school website, which outlines what is unacceptable behavior.

Often kids have fun and banter, but when someone is repeatedly teasing and picking on someone else they have crossed the line. 

Promoting inclusivity in schools

Schools should be promoting an inclusive environment and educate students about diversity.

By teaching kids about respecting other students, schools can create a positive atmosphere where teasing and bullying are less likely to occur.

Do you have any tips on how to put an end to teasing at school? Share your suggestions in the comments below.

5 Ways to help your child handle teasing at school

5 ways parents can help their child handle teasing at school

Take the first step to bully proofing your child. Download the free 4 Steps to Bully Proof Your Child Quickly Guide to help you get started.

Teasing at school can be a difficult experience for anyone, but there are some things you can do to help handle it. It is important for parents to take teasing seriously and address it early on to prevent it from becoming a bigger problem. 

Often kids will double down and tease a child even more if they don’t respond or react badly when other kids are making fun of them.  

If you suspect that your child is being teased, it’s important to talk to them and find out what’s going on. Encourage them to open up and share their feelings with you, and work together to come up with a plan to address the situation.

Teasing and bullying often occur when adults are not present, such as during recess, lunchtime, or after school. This can make it difficult for teachers and other adults to monitor, catch teasing and intervene in these situations.

When kids are teased at school for a long period of time

When kids are teased at school for a long period of time

When kids are teased for a long period of time, it can have a significant negative impact on their mental and emotional well-being. Children who are repeatedly teased may begin to feel anxious, depressed, and socially isolated. They may also experience low self-esteem, have difficulty making friends, and struggle with academic performance.

It is important for parents, teachers, and other caregivers to recognize the signs of teasing and take steps to intervene early on. 

This may involve teaching children coping strategies for dealing with teasing, providing emotional support, and working with school officials to address the problem. In some cases, professional counseling or therapy may be necessary to help children overcome the negative effects of long-term teasing.

BULLY PROOF YOUR CHILD IN 3 SIMPLE STEPS...

Get the BLUEPRINT that Enables any Parent to teach their child how to shut down teasing, and stop being a target for bullies in just 2 Weeks. Get started now with our FREE Bully Proofing workshop.

GET INSTANT ACCESS NOW!

5 ways parents can help their child deal with teasing

5 ways parents can help their child deal with teasing
  1. Listen to your child: Let your child know that you are there to listen and support them. Take the time to hear about their experiences and validate their feelings about what has been going on with other kids.
  2. Provide a safe and supportive home environment: Make sure your child knows that home is a safe space where they are loved and accepted. Provide emotional support and show your child that they are valued and respected.
  3. Teach assertiveness: Encourage your child to stand up for themselves and speak out against teasing. Role-play situations and help your child practice assertive responses and to be prepared for the next time it happens.
  4. Communicate with the school: If the teasing is happening at school, communicate with the school to see what actions can be taken. Talk to your child’s teacher, principal, or guidance counselor about the situation and work together to develop a plan to address the issue.
  5. Encourage positive social interactions: Help your child develop positive social skills and build healthy relationships with peers. Encourage them to participate in activities that they enjoy and help them make connections with like-minded individuals.

Teach your child how to deal with teasing quickly 

Teach your child how to deal with teasing quickly

Many parents don’t know where to begin when it comes to teasing. In fact, so many parents reached out for help when their child was being picked on that we created a product to help parents teach their kids verbal self defense quickly.

If you need a step by step guide on how to help  shut down teasing and stop being made fun of, check out Verbal Self Defense for Kids Made Easy.

How to stop teasing quickly

I received this message from a boy who used our verbal self defense techniques.

Thank you school boy for help stopping teasing

We have helped many families deal with teasing by bullyproofing their kids

Quan is a gentle boy who just wants to enjoy life and have fun. He started getting picked on  by the kids at school, which left his mother worried and anxious. His mother had told him not to say anything back, which led to more teasing and being singled out by the bully.

Quan’s mom used our bullyproofing method to shut down teasing and teach her son a bunch of other skills that would help him show up with confidence in front of his classmates. Things turned around, and got better for Quan quickly.

If you want to bully proof your child I invite you to watch our free training on how to bullyproof your child quickly.

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If your your child is continually teased or made fun of seek professional help

If your your child is continually teased or made fun of seek professional help

I Should Have Said Media may earn a commission after clicking links on this page at no additional cost to you. Learn more.

If your child is struggling with the emotional impact of teasing, consider seeking professional help. A mental health professional can provide support and help your child develop healthy coping strategies.

While it is unfortunately true that there will always be some children who behave in mean or hurtful ways towards others, it is important to remember that this behavior is not inevitable or acceptable. As adults, we have a responsibility to create safe and supportive environments for children and to help them develop the skills they need to treat others with kindness and respect.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of their own home.

Parents find it painful seeing their child being teased or picked on

Parents find it painful seeing their child being teased or picked on

As a parent, it can be difficult to see your child experience teasing at school. It may remind you of being back at school and being teased or made fun of by your classmates, and  bring up a wide range of emotions.

It is not uncommon for parents to project their own feelings and experiences onto their children, especially if they have had similar experiences in the past. However, it is important to be mindful of this tendency and to avoid letting it interfere with your parenting.

When parents project their own feelings and experiences onto their children, it can result in overprotectiveness, or a lack of empathy for the child’s unique experiences and feelings. 

To avoid projecting your own feelings and experiences onto your child, it can be helpful to take time to reflect on your own experiences and how they may be influencing your parenting. Try to separate your own experiences and emotions from those of your child, and focus on supporting your child’s individual growth and development.

Remember, as a parent, your role is to support your child through their experience by listening, validating their feelings, and working with them to find solutions, you can help your child handle teasing in a healthy way.

More posts you might like that deal with teasing

The role of counselling and self-care

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When you are dealing with teasing at school and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home.

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

Got any comments, questions, or tips about how to help your child deal with teasing at school? Share them in the comments below.

7 strategies to help your child deal with teasing at school

Take the first step to bully proofing your child. Download the free 4 Steps to Bully Proof Your Child Quickly Guide to help you get started.

Most parents get very upset when they find out that their child is being teased at school. And it might even remind you of when you were in elementary school. 

If you grew up in a family who told you that you shouldn’t respond to being teased, it’s probably even more distressing for you. Because you were never taught the skills of how to verbally stand up for yourself. 
But there’s tons of different ways that you can help your child have a better experience if they’re getting teased at school, camp or wherever they go.

1.  Getting teased in elementary school is pretty much a given

I have received thousands of emails from parents and children about getting teased or picked on at school. And I want you to know that every child gets picked on at some point in time. And it would be very unlikely that your child will make it all the way to grade 12 without getting teased.

When your child expects to get teased at some point, then when it happens, it isn’t such a shock. 

Ask your child to come to you if they’re getting teased and let them know that you’ll help them come up with some ways to handle the situation.

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2.  Don’t look at teasing with a victim mentality

A lot of times teasing isn’t personal. Sometimes it is, but a lot of times kids are just roaming the playground looking for someone to see who they can get a reaction out of. They’re just looking for potential targets. 

Make sure that your child knows that they’re not alone. Every child is going to go through getting teased at some point in time. And when we realize that it isn’t personal, it’s just something kids do. It’s a little easier to process and to handle. 

A mother who I will call, Caitlyn,was beside herself because her child was being bullied when in fact, it was just simple teasing on the playground. But she made it such a big deal. She made her son feel like a victim. And that he was a victim of bullying when it was simple teasing, she could have made it not a big deal and taught him how to respond and he would have been much better off.

Tell your child not to react when being teased

3.  Bullies are trying to trigger people

When bullies see a reactive kid, they’re like, Wow, perfect target. The bully is looking for how your child responds to being teased. So tell your child not to overreact when someone is trying to trigger them, let it roll off their back. 

Tell your child not to looked shocked or show a physical reaction when someone is trying to wind them up. If your child gets upset, the bully will probably continue

Tease your kids at home to prepare them for school

4. Allow banter and some fun teasing at home

You can tell kids whose parents don’t joke around or have any fun or teased at home, because when it happens to them at school, they’re absolutely shocked and flabbergasted. 

And there’s a blogger who I really, really respect. And she demands absolute respect at home with her children. And I can see why she wants that. And I think it’s an admirable goal. But one of her rules is no teasing. And if the older kids tease, they’re sent to bed with no dinner for the night. And it’s to teach respect. 

Well, that’s all fine but her daughter is going to be a perfect target when she goes to school because she’s never been in a situation where there’s teasing and she’s not going to know how to handle it compared to someone who’s used to fun and banter at home. 

In our house we tease and we joke around all the time. It’s not malicious. It’s just in a fun way with wit and humour. And I’ve trained my kids that when somebody picks on them, it just bounces off their back and to say something fun back, preferably with humour. And usually when you have quick wit or you have a really clever comeback or reply, it just sort of stops the bully in their tracks because it’s not what they’re expecting. 

And bullies  like to pick on people who are going to make them look foolish. So they’re not they don’t want people who are clever with the replies because that’s not an easy target. That’s a lot of hard work. So allow fun banter at home. 

Teenagers tease and razz each other

5. Understand that as kids get older and they become teenagers, they will razz and tease their friends

A teenager was telling me a funny story the other day and he was saying that to one of his friends. They could throw pinecones at him and he would still be standing. I asked what does that even mean? And he said that they just teased him so much and it just rolls off his friend’s  back, he doesn’t have a care in the world. 

And because he doesn’t over react  he doesn’t get wound up even more. And that’s a great way to handle it.  Because your friend group who loves you will be teasing you and your child needs to be prepared for that. 

One girl, I’ll call her Jojo was the only child and she didn’t experience teasing in her household. It was just her and her mom. And she had a friend’s make a joke that she was dating this boy, and obviously, he wouldn’t have been her type.  

But they just kept teasing her and winding her up. And a normal person would have laughed it off and said, Yeah, right. Oh, yeah, I just liked him so much have said something silly. But she just started sending direct messages to all of her friends saying. “Don’t you say this about me!” And how dare you embarrass me! 

And she had just really were not developed muscle in the area where it comes to friends just joking around or having fun. And she didn’t know how to respond. And she didn’t know how to handle the situation, as a lot of people at her age group would have.

Know that this is coming down the pipeline with friend groups. So when your child is that age, and the friend group is teasing, and it’s not malicious, expected and understand it’s just part of being a teenager. And this is very different from malicious, hateful speech. This is just joking around.

Teach your child verbal self defense to help with teasing

6. Set yourself up for success by teaching your children verbal self defense to deal with teasing

Now, I have to tell you, running a large verbal self defense website, I didn’t even realize that I would have to teach my children verbal self defense in advance. One of my kids was getting picked on and it escalated because of a covert highly manipulative bully. And if I had taught him some skills, we could have avoided a big part of the problem would it have happened, I can’t say, right. What I did after the bullying is I taught my son techniques that I teach my students in verbal self defense, and that’s what to say how to say it, and how to respond and how to be prepared, and shut down a bully in any situation. 

And I think it’s one of the best things that parents can do, because it is a given, you’re going to get picked on at some point in time. And it just brings unbelievable confidence. And you know, people like people who don’t respond. 

If you need a step by step guide on how to help  shut down teasing and stop being made fun of, check out Verbal Self Defense for Kids Made Easy.

How to stop teasing quickly

So when your child knows what to say, there’s a pretty good chance, it’s not going to get worse, and escalate. And of course, there’s always the exception. But I think it’s the best investment parents can make to bullyproof their kids is teach them verbal self defense. And the other benefit of it is it’s really quick. You can do it in an hour and a half with our system. And it’s a skill that lasts a lifetime. 

A lot of people that buy my products are like middle aged people who’ve never been taught this skill, and it leads to years of frustration. So learning it at a young age is such a blessing. You do your kid a huge, huge favor. 

BULLY PROOF YOUR CHILD IN 3 SIMPLE STEPS...

Get the BLUEPRINT that Enables any Parent to teach their child how to shut down teasing, and stop being a target for bullies in just 2 Weeks. Get started now with our FREE Bully Proofing workshop.

GET INSTANT ACCESS NOW!

7. Teasing is a mental confidence game

So you want your kids to show up with unbelievable confidence. And the way you bully proof is you prepare children for events. So you tell them they’re going to be teased to tell them how to handle it. And they just show up with confidence and they know what to expect when things happen at school and they have a much better reaction than the kid who isn’t prepared. If you need a little bit of help bully proofing your child I’ll include a link to our free workshop.

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Do you have a tip for shutting down teasing that you think others should know about? Leave it in the comments below.

7 ways to help your child shut down teasing quickly

Why does my child get teased by the kids at school?

Why does my child get teased

Take the first step to bully proofing your child. Download the free 4 Steps to Bully Proof Your Child Quickly Guide to help you get started.

Parents often ask me, “Why does my child get teased?” The truth is, all kids get teased at some point in time. I’m sure when you think back to your own childhood, you were probably teased for something, and you can remember exactly why they made fun of you.

Usually, people get teased or made fun of for something obvious, like they have a big nose or red hair or they are overweight. That is usually the first thing people will point out and make fun of. 

We all have something that we can be teased about, and how you respond will determine whether the teasing is going to stop or continue. If you get upset and overwhelmed when someone is making fun of you, then the bully will know that you’re a perfect target, who will just take their abuse.

When a kid gets visibly upset and doesn’t respond when they are picked on, the bully will double down and pick on the child even more. 

Free workshop How to Bully Proof Your Child Quickly!… Even If You have no idea where to start, your child is having a hard time and you’re losing your mind with worry. And we’re giving it to you 100% free right now for a limited time. 

BULLY PROOF YOUR CHILD IN 3 SIMPLE STEPS...

Get the BLUEPRINT that Enables any Parent to teach their child how to shut down teasing, and stop being a target for bullies in just 2 Weeks. Get started now with our FREE Bully Proofing workshop.

GET INSTANT ACCESS NOW!

Teach your kids to shut down teasing quickly

The worst thing a parent can do is tell their child to just take it and not to say anything back, which can lead to the teasing escalating. You are basically putting a target on your child’s back to be picked on. 

Well meaning parents often say, “Be the bigger person and don’t say anything back.” Or they tell the child to go to the teacher to help sort things out. The problem with that advice is kids tease when the teacher isn’t around.

Parents need to give their children the skills to shut down teasing right away, and you can quickly do that with verbal self defense. Verbal self defense is a skill that can be easily taught within an hour. Many adults don’t know how to stand up for themselves because they were never taught as children, and it causes them endless frustration.

We have a process that works tremendously well and that kids can learn quickly in our bundle Verbal Self Defense for Kids Made Easy.

How to stop teasing quickly

And the reason that it works is that  people just don’t know how to respond when you have an amazing comeback and they just move on to someone else. Think about it, nobody likes to be embarrassed, right? People’s brains are not wired to respond when they are caught off guard with a clever response. 

Who gets teased at school?

Kids who don’t respond or get upset are the first to be targeted. Would you tease someone who would respond with a funny reply or someone who will just take it? Obviously,  you aren’t going to pick on someone who says something clever back to you.

When you say something funny  back, they don’t know what to say, they’re going to start picking on someone else in their class.

Learning to shut down teasing is a life skill that kids can use to stand up for themselves for life. If you spend an hour teaching your child verbal self defense it can truly  be life changing.

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Got any comments, questions or tips for kids who are getting teased at school? Share them in the comments below.

Do you know why your child gets teased at school

Turning around a bullying situation around for your child

Turn a bullying situation around

Kids are going to need your help to turn a bullying situation around.  If your child is being bullied, most likely your child will not be able to figure it out on their own. 

You may feel paralyzed because you don’t know what to do. For parents it can be overwhelming to know where to start, and it can be emotionally devastating to find out that your child is being bullied and picked on. 

But there are things that you can do to help turn a bullying situation around. 

Step 1: Does your child project anything that makes them a bully target?

The first thing to turn the bullying situation around is to help your child show up in a new way. Often children have traits or behaviours that make them an easy target. 

And it’s not that they’re doing anything wrong. It’s just that a behaviour singles them out by other kids.

And the same things goes for adults. Adults have behaviorus that others judge them by. I don’t know about you but if someone was rude to wait staff I would definitely be put off. 

It’s time to put on your deductive reasoning hat and figure out what the problem is and see if your child’s doing anything to alienate peers.

 This can be done the same way doctors look at a patient to rule out symptoms. Once you are aware what is causing the problem, you can get to work fixing it. 

Free workshop How to Bully Proof Your Child Quickly!… Even If You have no idea where to start, your child is having a hard time and you’re losing your mind with worry. And we’re giving it to you 100% free right now for a limited time. 

Free workshop to bully proof your child

Step 2: Getting the schools help with the bullying 

The other thing that you need to do to turn a bullying situation around is work with the school. 

You need to find out what has been going on and report it to your child’s teacher. You may have a situation that is escalating and you need to get the principal involved to get it to stop.

Some bullies are extremely manipulative and often teachers have no clue that kids are being bullied.  The bully waits until the teacher is not around, and then they make their move. 

At first bullies often deny that they have done anything wrong. Parents need to be prepared when they talk to the school. You will need to extract and capture what exactly has been going on. 

Watch our free training on how you can bully proof your child. 

You can get the bullying to stop.

Your child is going need your help to turn this situation around. The sooner you assist your kid with the skills and support that they need the sooner it will stop. 

Bullying is truly a journey that no parents want to go through.  We have helped many families put an end to bullying quickly with our Bully Proof Your Child Tookit. 

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Got any comments, questions or tips for stopping a bullying situation? Share them in the comments below.

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