funny comebacks for assholes

Top ten comebacks for toxic people

We all know a toxic person; it could be your boring aunt Bertha or your moronic brother-in-law who has verbal diarrhea. Toxic people will give you unsolicited advice, make cutting remarks, and manipulate you.

Toxic people are extremely rude, and they find it very challenging to be nice to others. They are in need of a big attitude adjustment and are condescending to those around them. A toxic person’s personality is so revolting that the people who have to deal with them suffer and become rude in response to putting up with so much abuse.

Tim’s daughter was in a baseball league, and he would take her to games and watch her from the bleachers. One of the parents who attended was toxic and rude and wouldn’t shut up. What was even worse was he always sat next to Tim at baseball practice.

Tim had his bright daughter in public school, and they were happy with the situation. The other dad, Collin, put his daughter in a private school and kept going on about how great it was. He knew that Tim’s girl was in public school, but he said, “Public school would be OK if my daughter wanted to be a waitress.”

Tim didn’t want to be unkind about another child, but he took solace knowing that Collins’ daughter was an uncoordinated dumpling.

If you want to say something to a toxic jerk, these clever comebacks will let them know that you know that they are venomous and you are not interested in hearing their offensive comments.

Top ten comebacks for toxic people

1. I expect the bullshit from you, but I never accept it!
2. Remember when I asked for your opinion. Me neither!
3. Getting in an argument with you is like getting arrested. Everything I say, can and will be used against me.
4. I’m sorry but I didn’t order a glass of your opinion.
5. Life’s too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.
6. Thanks, but I function better without unsolicited advice.
7. I didn’t realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Continue while I take notes.
8. Before you start pointing fingers make sure your hands are clean.
9. The problem with closed minded people is their mouth is always open.
10. Counting other people’s sins does not make you a saint.

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Top ten comebacks for haters

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Check out our amazing comebacks for HATERS. | www.ishouldhavesaid.net

There are haters everywhere all over the world. Anytime you step out of your comfort zone and do something, 30 percent of people will like it, 30 percent of people won’t like it, and 30 percent of people won’t care. (Who knows what happened to the other 10 percent.).

If you are a creator, actor, a musician in a band, or someone who is putting any kind of content out into the world, you will receive criticism from others. I have experienced this with the website, people hating me for what I have created. Dealing with negative feedback gets easier with time. You look at the source and realize they may have something useful to say or their opinion could be a complete waste of time.

When an idiot mouths off, “I hate you!” you can either respond with a comeback or let it go because he might be part of the 30 percent of the hater population.

If you are continually being picked on, you can use a comeback to let the person know that you are not a doormat who can be walked all over. Often after responding with a few comebacks and making the bully look like a fool, they move on to another target.

Below we have some great comebacks for the haters in this world. Use your comeback and let them know that they can spread their hate elsewhere.

Stand up for yourself without being a jerk

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Top ten sarcastic comebacks for haters

Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon.
You don’t like me? That’s a shame. I’ll pencil in some time to cry about it later. Right now, I’m busy enjoying my life.
I’m an acquired taste. Don’t like me, acquire some taste.
Do you always act like an idiot or do you just show off when I’m around?
Grab a straw because you suck.
I don’t hate you but let’s put it this way…, if I had a bucket of water and you were on fire, I’d drink the water.
Some call them haters, I call them motivators.
If I wanted to listen to an asshole I’d fart.
Haters gonna hate.
Acting like a dick won’t make yours any bigger.

When haters watch everything you do, let's face it they're fans

Jennifer Lawrence had to deal with haters in school

Everyone wants to be Jennifer Lawrence’s BFF nowadays, but that wasn’t always the case. The actress revealed she was bullied throughout her childhood, “I changed schools a lot when I was in elementary school because some girls were mean,” In an interview with French magazine Le Figaro Madame, Jen reveals she struggled with severe social anxiety as a child, something that built her character and made her who she is today. “Don’t worry about the bitches. That could be a good motto, because you’ll come across people like that throughout your life.” Read more

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Top ten rudest comebacks ever

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If you are dealing with critics and haters, try not to listen. Don’t shrink your greatness. You can’t control what other people think or say about you. Whatever you do, someone will judge you for it—30 percent will love it, 30 percent will hate it, and 30 percent won’t care. Try your best not to take it personally and have as little interaction with the hater as you possibly can.

No matter what you do, someone is going to judge you for it. You could be the most beautiful person on the planet, and someone will call you unattractive. Some people sit on the sidelines of life criticizing other people, yet they themselves have nothing to contribute to the world.

What you can control is what you do every day towards reaching your goals. Keep following your unique path and journey. Make your hater your motivator.

Be the best you can be in your life and just keep going. The hater will probably complain and hate on someone else next week.

If people are giving you a hard time, try one of our rudest comebacks ever to shut them up.

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Top Ten Rudest comebacks Ever

You’re like a bag of Pampers. Self absorbed and full of shit.
I would tell you to go f*ck yourself but I’m pretty sure you’d be disappointed.
Since you know it all, you should know when to shut the f*ck up.
Yep, no doubt about it, your father should have pulled out earlier.
I swear some men were conceived by anal sex. There is no way being that much of an asshole is natural.
I’m not a proctologist but I sure know an asshole when I see one.
I hear there’s a new app called a sense of humour. Download it bitch!
You’re like a plunger, you like bringing up old shit.
I don’t sugar coat shit, I’m not Willy Wonka.
Acting like a dick won’t make yours any bigger.

Dwayne Johnson had to deal with his fair share of haters and critics

It is hard to believe that Dwayne Johnson, “The Rock” ever had haters. He is now 229 lbs, 6’5 and pure muscle. But it wasn’t always that way, you would think Dwayne had the perfect life but he has personally faced some real challenges and some big critics along his journey.

I was always the new kid so that made me a target,” he says. “We moved so much that we lived in fourteen different states because my dad was on the road which was unsettling and disorientating. I used to get into a lot of fights. I wouldn’t start them, but you know when you’re the new kid …”

When Johnson was in his early 20s, he battled depression after he was cut from the Calgary Stampeders, a Canadian Football League. He was also passed over for the NFL, it was a very difficult time for him, he says it was his rock bottom.

I had just seven bucks in my pocket, I had nowhere to live and I had to move back into my parents’ house and that was a low blow. I was lost, I didn’t know where I was going to go, what was going to come next because I couldn’t see a future. In hindsight it was also the best thing to happen to me because I learned during that period no one was going to hand me a life, I wasn’t going to get back on my feet feeling sorry for myself, I had to pick myself up and keep going and fighting and grasp and claw and scratch at every opportunity that came my way.

Dwayne’s grandfather was a wrestler, so he decided to get into the family business and joined the WWE. He got off to a rocky start, during Wrestle-mania he was booed by 20,000 fans chanting, “Rocky sucks.” He stood up to the fans, but he realized the valuable lesson to just be himself.” About a month later, I was the hottest heel in the company and things were on fire,” he says. “And the greatest lesson about that is be you. … The most powerful thing you can be is yourself.”

Dwayne started acting in 2001 and by 2017 he was named the highest paid actor in Hollywood.

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Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with rude people? Share them in the comments below.

DO YOU NEED HELP STANDING UP TO THE DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE?

Ever feel like you don’t know what to say to the difficult people in your life? Our starter guide will show you how in 3 simple steps. It’s a game changer–get it free for a limited time!

SEND ME MY FREE GUIDE NOW!