Welcome to I Should Have Said where we teach verbal self-defense and how to stand up for yourself the easy way. When you’re done perusing this post, learn how else we can help you here.

Top ten rudest comebacks ever

Top ten rudest comebacks ever

If you are dealing with critics and haters, try not to listen. Don’t shrink your greatness. You can’t control what other people think or say about you. Whatever you do, someone will judge you for it—30 percent will love it, 30 percent will hate it, and 30 percent won’t care. Try your best not to take it personally and have as little interaction with the hater as you possibly can.

No matter what you do, someone is going to judge you for it. You could be the most beautiful person on the planet, and someone will call you unattractive. Some people sit on the sidelines of life criticizing other people, yet they themselves have nothing to contribute to the world.

What you can control is what you do every day towards reaching your goals. Keep following your unique path and journey. Make your hater your motivator.

Be the best you can be in your life and just keep going. The hater will probably complain and hate on someone else next week.

If people are giving you a hard time, try one of our rudest comebacks ever to shut them up.


Ever feel like you don’t know what to say to challenging people? Grab our FREE starter guide, so you know not only what to say- but how to say it. Discover the secret of shutting down rude people.

Top Ten Rudest comebacks Ever

  1. You’re like a bag of Pampers. Self absorbed and full of shit.
  2. I would tell you to go f*ck yourself but I’m pretty sure you’d be disappointed.
  3. Since you know it all, you should know when to shut the f*ck up.
  4. Yep, no doubt about it, your father should have pulled out earlier.
  5. I swear some men were conceived by anal sex. There is no way being that much of an asshole is natural.
  6. I’m not a proctologist but I sure know an asshole when I see one.
  7. I hear there’s a new app called a sense of humour. Download it bitch!
  8. You’re like a plunger, you like bringing up old shit.
  9. I don’t sugar coat shit, I’m not Willy Wonka.
  10. Acting like a dick won’t make yours any bigger.

Dwayne Johnson had to deal with his fair share of haters and critics

By Eva Rinaldi – Dwayne Johnson, CC BY-SA 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=25135388

It is hard to believe that Dwayne Johnson, “The Rock” ever had haters. He is now 229 lbs, 6’5 and pure muscle. But it wasn’t always that way, you would think Dwayne had the perfect life but he has personally faced some real challenges and some big critics along his journey.

I was always the new kid so that made me a target,” he says. “We moved so much that we lived in fourteen different states because my dad was on the road which was unsettling and disorientating. I used to get into a lot of fights. I wouldn’t start them, but you know when you’re the new kid …”

When Johnson was in his early 20s, he battled depression after he was cut from the Calgary Stampeders, a Canadian Football League. He was also passed over for the NFL, it was a very difficult time for him, he says it was his rock bottom.

I had just seven bucks in my pocket, I had nowhere to live and I had to move back into my parents’ house and that was a low blow. I was lost, I didn’t know where I was going to go, what was going to come next because I couldn’t see a future. In hindsight it was also the best thing to happen to me because I learned during that period no one was going to hand me a life, I wasn’t going to get back on my feet feeling sorry for myself, I had to pick myself up and keep going and fighting and grasp and claw and scratch at every opportunity that came my way.

Dwayne’s grandfather was a wrestler, so he decided to get into the family business and joined the WWE. He got off to a rocky start, during Wrestle-mania he was booed by 20,000 fans chanting, “Rocky sucks.” He stood up to the fans, but he realized the valuable lesson to just be himself.” About a month later, I was the hottest heel in the company and things were on fire,” he says. “And the greatest lesson about that is be you. … The most powerful thing you can be is yourself.”

Dwayne started acting in 2001 and by 2017 he was named the highest paid actor in Hollywood.


Ever feel like you don’t know what to say to challenging people? Grab our FREE starter guide, so you know not only what to say- but how to say it. Discover the secret of shutting down rude people.

Rude comebacks for jerks

More top ten comeback lists you might like

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with rude people? Share them in the comments below.


Ever feel like you don’t know what to say to challenging people? Grab our FREE starter guide, so you know not only what to say- but how to say it.

If you love this resource, don’t miss our amazing resource Verbal Self Defense Made Easy bundle that will teach you how to effortlessly shut down rude people in record time. Learn how to stand up for yourself in any situation, the easy way.

Get in touch:

I created this site to help people with verbal self-defense and to find the right words in difficult situations… Read more

76 Responses

  1. When I read these again I’m going to shit my pants. Now I found this website I will say all these comebacks to hill and it will blow shit on the fan

  2. If someone calls you mental/ restarted remind them that making fun of someone else’s disability isn’t funny and that they should use a thesaurus to find the word they were actually looking for

      1. For the reason why God created the middle finger.
        I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup, and shit out a better statement.
        I would like to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.

  3. 1. Don’t you need a license to be that ugly??
    2. You’re so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering
    3. This is coming from the poster child for adoptions??
    4. A penny for your thoughts is too pricey
    5. You need your beauty sleep? No bitch you need to hibernate
    6. I told your boyfriend he’s gay and he hit me with his purse
    7.I’d explain it to you but I’m out of puppets and crayons
    8. You’re proof that evolution can go in reverse

  4. when someone tells you ”YOU FAILED!!”
    tell them ”yeah, so did your dad’s condom” <3

    if someone tells you to go kill yourself, tell them ''if i wanted to kill myself, i'd climb your ego and jump down to your IQ.''

    if a bitch gossips about you tell her ''awww, how adorable. spreading rumors about me? .''

    good luck ya'll. kick some ass <3

    1. thanks, man I have another person who is bothering me I have tried to get help it worked once. These comebacks will give me the power to slap that bitch across his face with a hand made out of insults.

  5. Your flexibility astounds me…like how you have your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time…

  6. If someone says go kill yourself, say:”If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ”?

  7. Someone called me fat. I have been stressing with it for a couple of hours. I want to tell my mom but how? What should I say or do? She has the most ratchet name, acts likes she is better than everyone, but living in affordable housing. I don’t mean to talk about her but…. she gets on my damn nerves.

    1. Just say”I am so sorry for all those skinny little babies like you” that will shut that person up

      1. I am so sorry about what is happening to you could try saying I could hit your ugly face but that will be animal abuse or look whose here skinny I am so important than everyone girl or say yo, you person with ugly face of my planet.?

    2. I’m skinny and this comeback offended me – so I’m sure it’ll offend someone else. If they call you fat say: “Well at least people would rather cuddle with curves then a fucking stick.”

    3. You should tell her that you’re sorry that your stomach isn’t as flat as her chest. I got people to shut up with this one.

  8. If someone says that there d*ck goes from a-z then tell them to look at a keyboard

    If ur a boy and someone says that ur d*ck is tiny and u know who they hate the most say, “yeah, (person they hate) said she tried to create a password for a website and a sign came up saying “(person ur saying this to)’s d*ck’ is not Long enough password, please try another

  9. If someone say u look ugly say, good i was trying to look like u today or excuse me, I’m not a mirror.

  10. When someone can’t take a joke, reply with “It was a joke…not a dick. So don’t take it too hard, okay?”

  11. When someone is bothering you:
    If you will excuse me, I have to go talk to something smarter than you. Like a worm. Or a rock.

  12. somebody says “Your fat!” say “Well the reason I’m fat is because a tiny body couldn’t stall all of this great personality!”

    says “You stalk me!” say “Do you even know what stalk means? If so, you should know, I would never stalk somebody that is that ugly!”

    says “Your so ugly” say “And I bet 90% of your “beauty” can be removed with Kleenex”

    somebody says “You’re so dumb” say “Is that right? And what have you accomplished in your lift time that makes you Einstein?”

    somebody says “You’re one of the stupidest people I’ve ever met” say “Oh, I see your rubbing off on me”

    These comebacks I love, if you use them, I hope they work (:

  13. when I face a girl that calls me ugly but she’s the one who loaded on ten layers of makeup, I always say “your makeup makes you look like the walking dead, so why don’t you stop looking like one” and they never really seem to know how to reply after that show with that dense brain of theirs that can only input fashion and fucking ever hot guy around them

    1. ok so like these are from google but i’m at least giving credit for these UNLIKE OTHERS!!

      when someone calls you stupid .. say if f your name isn’t google then stop acting like you know everything.
      if i throw a stick will you leave ?

      if i wanted a bitch i would have bought a dog

      i bet 95% of your “ beauty” can be wiped off by a cloth.

  14. omg I almost shat myself reading these. If someone says to you “I’m not afraid to stand up for myself because you told me to.” say back to them ” I told you to suck it up and in this case not over react to stupid little things bitch”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *