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Snappy Comebacks for all Situations

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Top ten comebacks for someone who won’t shut up

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Funny comebacks for someone who won't shut up

Are you ever overwhelmed with the urge to tell someone to shut up? There are chatty people who engage in genuine conversations which is fine, but non-stop talkers who talk at you are frustrating and exhausting.

Some people monopolize conversations, stopping anyone else from getting a word in. Often, the conversation hog doesn’t get to the point or goes off on tangents, driving their listeners crazy. The funny thing is that they don’t even notice that they have lost their audience.

If you can’t take it anymore, here are a few things you can say to let the windbag know that you have had enough.

What to say to someone who won’t shut up

  1. Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.
  2. You sound so sexy, when you’re not talking.
  3. You would be much more likable if it wasn’t for that hole in your mouth that noise comes out of.
  4. You know what’s funny. Not you, so shut up.
  5. It’s never too late to shut up and mind your own business.
  6. I love the sound you make when you shut up.
  7. If I wanted to listen to an asshole I’d fart.
  8. It’s time to shut up. If I wanted your opinion all of the time I would have married you.
  9. In case you didn’t see the look I just gave you. Shut up!
  10. Remember that time you shut the f*uck up? Me neither.

Check out what to say to someone who WON'T STOP TALKING

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Top ten comebacks for troublemakers

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Check out what to say to a TROUBLEMAKER

Have you ever had to deal with someone who is manipulative and loves to cause trouble? Every office or school has a troublemaker, and causing drama is their unique calling. Having to deal with a troublemaker can make you not want to attend an event, work, or school.

Troublemakers like to stir up controversy by spreading gossip and starting rumors about people, and then they turn around and act all innocent, claiming they were only trying to help the situation.

Here are a few snappy comebacks to let the troublemaker know you are onto them and their manipulative behaviour.

What to say to a troublemaker

  1. Congratulations on your ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing.
  2. Don’t tell me what they said about me, tell me why they were so comfortable saying it around you.
  3. I see you brought your extra large spoon to stir up trouble.
  4. You don’t like drama? Funny how your name comes up as executive producer on every single episode around you!
  5. I  am returning your nose. I found it in my business.
  6. Stop creating a drama and then complaining about it.
  7. It is actually pretty easy not to be a shitty human being. Try it sometime.
  8. So, let me get this straight, you talk shit about me then you make it into MY problem when I say something.
  9. If drama follows you wherever you go. Maybe you are the drama.
  10. I hope one day you choke on all the shit you talk.

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What to say when you are dealing with a troublemaker

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Kevin O’Leary is known for being a troublemaker

Kevin O’Leary via Wikipedia

Kevin O’Leary, a businessman, author and television personality is known for being a troublemaker and insulting guests on his show. He has appeared on The Lang and O’Leary Exchange, Dragon’s Den and Shark Tank.

On the Lang Leary Kevin reaches a new low as he badgers a 14-year-old Rachel Parent in a debate regarding GMO food labeling. Kevin is patronizing doesn’t acknowledge her point that there should be responsible testing of GMO and non-GMO products.

What to say to troublemaker who creates drama

 

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Top Ten Comebacks for Jerks

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Great comebacks for JERKS

We have all met a jerk who makes every situation difficult and never realizes that they are the problem. You don’t have to try to win over the haters; after all, you are not the jerk whisperer. Life is way too short to spend your valuable time dealing with jerks. Sometimes a jerk will have it out for you for no reason. They may verbally attack you, belittle you in public, or embarrass you.

I went to pick up my nephew from school one day. One of the parents, a 40-year-old jerk, was on the playground. I had heard about him from others, putting kids down while elevating his own kid to look better.

My nephew was applying to a high school that was challenging to get into at the time. This guy said to him, “Do you really think that you will be in the 20 percent who will get accepted?” I just couldn’t believe that an adult could be so unkind to a kid!

If you can get the jerk out of your life, do so as soon as possible. Don’t waste your precious time thinking about the idiot.

If you get tired of putting up with the jerk and their nasty behavior, here are a few snappy comebacks to let them know they need to back off.

Top ten snappy comebacks for jerks

  1. You have the rest of your life to be a jerk, why not take today off?
  2. Jesus loves you but everyone thinks you’re a jerk.
  3. Oh, I heard you. I just don’t care.
  4. Remember that time you shut the f*uck up? Me neither
  5. The jerk store called, they’re running out of you.
  6. I would love to insult you but I’m afraid I wouldn’t do as well as nature did.
  7. You’re the reason nobody likes you.
  8. You’re like a hemorrhoid, a pain the ass who won’t go away.
  9. I love the sound you make when you shut up.
  10. Your dick belongs in your pants, not your personality.

I received this email from a jerk

An Email I received from a jerk

This email made me laugh because this guy was such a jerk and yet he couldn’t see it.

He comes to a website with free content and then complains he has to scroll down slightly on his phone. Talk about first world problems, imagine if Mark had to walk a mile to a well to get water for his family.

It would have taken him a lot longer to find the web page to submit a comment than to scroll down past a couple of lines of text. We all have a choice of how we chose to spend time on this planet, some petty people spend their lives majoring in minor things.

Everyone has to deal with haters in their lives. I sent Mark the following message.

reply to an email hater

I should have said, “You have the rest of your life to be a jerk, why not take today off?”

They say that every bad situation contains the seed of good as well. I was thinking of ways to expand my content and Mark has just given me the idea to share emails from morons to prove a point.

Thanks, Mark!

When your dealing with a JERK, shut them ups with a comeback.

Be prepared next time you run into a jerk

If you have to deal with a jerk who gives you a hard time, our book Snappy Comebacks any Situation can help you out. Be prepared for difficult people with clever responses on your phone or device any time or anywhere.

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Justin Timberlake had to deal with a lot of jerks in high school

Justin Timberlake, Gage Skidmore, Wikipedia Commons

Singer Justin Timberlake wasn’t so popular growing up because he preferred music to football and in the
state of Tennessee, where he grew up, that just wasn’t considered cool. He’s pretty popular with the ladies now, but he reveals he was picked on all the time at school and he had I had terrible acne and weird hair. When Justin was on the Ellen Dengeneres show he said, “The thing about life … is …… is … everything … you feel makes you weird is essentially what’s gonna make you sexy as an adult…. When you’re a kid I think you try so hard to fit in and when you get older you realize that fitting in isn’t really the thing that’s more interesting…. I would not be here if I would have listened to the kids who told me I was a terrible singer and I was a sissy…. Be different.”

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Check out what to say when someone acts like a jerk towards you

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Top Ten Comebacks for People who Keep bothering You

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What to say if someone won't stop BOTHERING YOU

Dealing with annoying people is an inevitable part of life. There will be times you need to stand up for yourself and times when it is better to walk away. After all, you don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to.

Difficult people usually have the same behaviour around other people, not just you. You can start wondering why this is happening to you, but it is their problem. They probably have many difficult relationships in their life.

If someone is continually bothering you, it is important to set boundaries and let the person know. You can let them know what you find acceptable, what you don’t, and what you are not willing to tolerate.

Maya had spent a year dealing with her negative father who would contradict everything she said and continually make negative judgments about her life. She had learned to stop reacting to the criticism, but when her father crossed the line, she always had a few one-liners in her pocket to let her dad know his behaviour was not OK.

Here are some snappy comebacks to let the person know that you want to be left alone.

Top Ten Comebacks for People who Keep bothering You

  1. Please do not disturb I am disturbed enough already.
  2. Please don’t interrupt me while I’m ignoring you.
  3. How do I block you in real life?
  4. You’re like a hemorrhoid, a pain the ass who won’t go away.
  5. If I throw a stick, will you go away?
  6. No…you’re not bothering me. In fact, I stopped listening to you about 10 minutes ago!
  7. You go girl! And don’t come back!
  8. Don’t think of it as goodbye. Think of it as a chance to stop bothering me.
  9. Go away, I’m too sober to deal with you.
  10. Please go away I’m introverting.


How you feel when idiots keep bothering you

Be prepared next time you have to deal with someone who keeps bothering you

If you have to deal with someone who keeps bothering you for everything and who gives you a hard time, our book Snappy Comebacks any Situation can help you out. Be prepared for difficult people with clever responses on your phone or device any time or anywhere.

Funny reply when someone won't stop bothering you

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Top ten comebacks for a know it all

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Check out our great comebacks for annoying KNOW IT ALLS. | www.ishoudlhavesaid.net

We have all met them—the guy or girl who won’t stop talking or offering unwanted advice and thinks that they know it all. Whatever you say, they know better or claim they did it better.

There is nothing worse than getting cornered at a party by a know-it-all, who offers all sorts of unsolicited advice. They discount other people’s comments and suggestions because their advice is better.

Jason attended a Meetup group to meet new people who own online businesses. He was hoping to meet new people who were at the same level as he was or further along the path.

Jason was introduced to someone at the event who told him that having a blog wouldn’t work and that it wasn’t possible to make money from blogs anymore. He laughed to himself because he was making money every day from his blog. He could tell the know-it-all was argumentative and didn’t want to waste his energy debating whether or not blogs could make money, so he changed the topic.

Jason shared that he was interested in becoming an Amazon seller. The know-it-all told him that it would never work and that you can’t make money selling on Amazon and don’t waste your time trying. The funny thing was the know-it-all didn’t have an online business, and he was acting as if he was an expert on the topic when his results showed otherwise.

If you don’t want to listen to the know-it-all warble on, try one of our clever comebacks below.

Top ten comebacks for know it alls

  1. Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.
  2. Since you know it all, you should know when to shut up.
  3. You would argue with a fence post.
  4. Being right isn’t nearly as important as knowing when to shut up.
  5. Rather than us agreeing to disagree why don’t you just be quiet.
  6. Try being informed instead of being opinionated.
  7. Everything we hear is an opinion not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective not a truth.
  8. Open your mind not your mouth.
  9. Since you know everything, then you know you’re an asshole.
  10. I didn’t realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it! Continue while I take notes.


When you are tired to listening to a know it all

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What to say to a know it all

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