
We have all met them—the guy or girl who won’t stop talking or offering unwanted advice and thinks that they know it all. Whatever you say, they know better or claim they did it better.
There is nothing worse than getting cornered at a party by a know-it-all, who offers all sorts of unsolicited advice. They discount other people’s comments and suggestions because their advice is better.
Jason attended a Meetup group to meet new people who own online businesses. He was hoping to meet new people who were at the same level as he was or further along the path.
Jason was introduced to someone at the event who told him that having a blog wouldn’t work and that it wasn’t possible to make money from blogs anymore. He laughed to himself because he was making money every day from his blog. He could tell the know-it-all was argumentative and didn’t want to waste his energy debating whether or not blogs could make money, so he changed the topic.

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Jason shared that he was interested in becoming an Amazon seller. The know-it-all told him that it would never work and that you can’t make money selling on Amazon and don’t waste your time trying. The funny thing was the know-it-all didn’t have an online business, and he was acting as if he was an expert on the topic when his results showed otherwise.
If you don’t want to listen to the know-it-all warble on, try one of our clever comebacks below.
Top ten comebacks for know it alls
- Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
- Since you know it all, you should know when to be quiet.
- You would argue with a fence post.
- Being right isn’t nearly as important as knowing when to be quiet.
- Try being informed instead of being opinionated.
- Everything we hear is an opinion not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective not a truth.
- Open your mind not your mouth.
- I didn’t realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it! Continue while I take notes.
- Since you know everything, then you know you’re being a jerk.
- Rather than us agreeing to disagree why don’t you just be quiet.
31 Responses
I have somebody who acts like a know it all i will try one of these!!!!
Agreed, I will also use those on people who don’t deserve to know it all
Looks at person in disbelief, “Does your jaw ever get tired?”
Good one! Jax
Yes, its perfect?
For someone who seems to know it all, how come you don’t know that you’re a dumb ass?
Say you sound smarter when you don’t talk
Or you talk so much crap I don’t know whether to offer you toilet paper or a breath mint.
Love this one * if I was being smart with you how would you know?
I don’t get it
That’s a good one
Know your role and shut your hole. That’ll shut um up.
how i be like you
I would roast you but you don’t fit in the oven
Great comeback!
Damn bruh
I better call da fire department while I jump in the freezer!
Why do people with brains the size of peas have mouths the size of watermelons.
Nice
Try this: Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you knew everything. Let me change your name badge to god.
When someone pretends they know everything I usually say this:
“I’m going to ask you 2 questions that may seem a little dumb. But they will help me prove a point. 1) Do you know the number of sands on all the combine beaches of Hawaii? 2) Do you know the number of hairs on a fully grown male Tibetan Yak? I can safely assume you don’t, so stop pretending you know everything.”
Though not exactly what I say but their’ya go.
When someone pretends they know everything I usually say this:
“I’m going to ask you 2 questions that may seem a little dumb. But they will help me prove a point. 1) Do you know the number of sands on all the combine beaches of Hawaii? 2) Do you know the number of hairs on a fully grown male Tibetan Yak? I can safely assume you don’t, so stop pretending you know everything.”
Though not exactly what I say but their’ya go.
I go with, to toxic male types:
How many birds are in the world?
How many bees in a beehive?
How many dwarves in Snow White?
‘sfunny, you don’t know crap about the birds & the beres, but you know all about the fairies!
Best n savage reply for know it alls
*Ok Google*
Better to remain quiet and have people think you’re an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
I’d go either:
-Ok Google
Or
-Geez Einstein! Cool ya socks bruv.
Why have a brain when you have an arse. I mean thats where all your words come out of right? Wonder why it sounds like crap.
I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
or [I have a question for that skittish mouth of yours. ‘When will you retire that jaw?’]
I forgot more than you will ever know,but you don’t hear me advertising it!
i just say “How long does it take the average human to die from your dumb knowledge.. well, actually, it doesn’t even count as knowledge anymore.. it falls under the stupidity category.” (shuts up) and if they don’t shut up, say “incorrect! it’s actually under five minutes.” 🙂
Clowns make between 40k to 60k, and here you are being one for free!