Some people think that everyone should commit in a relationship and settle down and get married and if you don’t want to, they think that you are afraid of commitment.
Settling down really has a lot to do with timing, if you are in your early twenties you probably aren’t looking for a long term commitment. Most people in their twenties want to date a few people and find out who is a good fit.
Why would you want to commit to someone and settle down if you are in the prime of your life with so many amazing options? Never has the world been better for young people to travel, work abroad, start a business or go to university.
Who you are in your twenties can be very different from who you will become in your thirties. Your twenties are your opportunity to explore your life and find out who you are.
Being in a committed relationship does take a lot of work, and it is a wonderful thing at the right time of your life.
Check out what to say when people ask why you are afraid of commitment.
10 Best comebacks to ‘are you afraid of commitment?’
1. Commitment? I’ve supported the same Rugby League team for years!
2. Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?
3. It’s not that I am afraid of commitment, I am just afraid of committing to a psycho like you.
4. No, I actually quite like the feeling of a strait jacket.
5. I honestly can’t even commit to what I want for dinner.
6. It’s hard enough to commit to which Netflix show to watch let alone a life long commitment.
7. No, I’m not at all afraid of commitment; I just believe in taking things one milestone at a time.
8. It’s not that I am afraid of commitment. I am strategic about where I chose to invest my time and energy.
9. I like to keep the promises I make so I don’t take commitment lightly.
10. I think I’m just allergic to long-term plans.
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Why are some people afraid of commitment
Some folks are afraid to commitment because of past experiences that have led to fear of being hurt or let down by others. People can feel overwhelmed by the idea of making long-term decisions, and like the idea of keeping their options open, especially when they are young.
The fear of losing your personal freedom or independence can also contribute to young people having commitment phobia. It may seem like some folks don’t want to grow up or make any long term plans.
Social pressures in certain cultures and our individual personality traits can also play a role in shaping a person’s attitude towards commitment. It’s important to recognize that everyone’s perspective on commitment is unique, and understanding and respecting individual boundaries and concerns is essential in building healthy relationships.
More clever comebacks you might like
- What to say when someone says we don’t need to use a condom
- How to answer when you are asked when are you going to settle down
- Best ever comebacks
How to deal with someone who won’t commit
Dealing with a person you care about who won’t commit can be incredibly hurtful and challenging, especially if you are want a much deeper level of commitment in your relationship.
Try to be honest and get to the bottom of understanding why the person has issues around committing long term. If the other person doesn’t want what you do, and is unwilling to meet your needs for commitment, it may be necessary to reconsider the relationship and assess whether you are going to be happy long term if it doesn’t align with your goals.
It can be hard to figure out alone, and it may be beneficial to seek the support of a trusted friend, family member, or professional counselor to gain insight and guidance on how to navigate the situation if your partner doesn’t want to commit..
Ultimately, it’s your life and happiness, and at some point it is vital to prioritize your own emotional well-being above others, and make decisions that you can live with that fit with your values and long term goals.
Selina’s boyfriend didn’t want a long term commitment
Selina and Jake had been together for several years, and their relationship seemed to be going well. Selina began to envision a future together with Jake that involved a deeper level commitment.
Selina brought up the topic with Jake, expressing her desire for a more serious, long-term relationship. To her surprise, Jake hesitated and admitted that he wasn’t ready for such a commitment.
Selina felt a mix of emotions—confusion, disappointment, and a tinge of sadness. She valued Jake and their time together, but she also yearned for a relationship that aligned with her long-term goals. Despite her love for Jake, she knew that she couldn’t compromise on her aspirations for a committed partnership.
After much contemplation, Selina decided to have a candid conversation with Jake. She expressed her feelings and acknowledged his perspective, but also conveyed her need for a relationship that encompassed the level of commitment she desired.
Although it was a difficult decision, Selina chose to part ways with Jake, understanding that it was the best course of action for both of them. Sometimes splitting up is the best solution to get what you want long term.
The Role of counselling and self care
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When you are dealing with a person who asks if you’re afraid of commitment and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.
Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home.
Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.
‘Are you afraid of arguing constantly and dying alone?’