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When a friend is a clandestine bully

What to say when your friend is a verbal bully



Have ever had a friend who is a clandestine bully who snipes at you and makes rude comments? You can only be left wondering if this person is really your friend at all.

Today we are interviewing Cali, who dealt with a friend who kept insulting her. Cali’s roommate would make rude and snide comments towards her in public and when they were alone. Her roommate, Lina, could actually be pretty nice, but she had this horrible side that would come out and say nasty things.

So how did you meet your roommate?

We actually worked at the same office, we were both going back to school and we decided that we should share an apartment for two years. At work, she seemed incredibly nice, kind and professional so it looked like we would be a good fit to live together.

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When did your roommate start making comments to you?

Lina was fine for the first six months, then she would start to make snide little digs at me every now and again.

How did you respond to her put downs and rude comments?

When she first started making snide comments I was taken aback and a little astonished. I wasn’t quick enough on my feet to say something back to her. I don’t verbally attack people, it’s not who I am so I put up with it for the first little while, until she escalated her behaviour and started publicly embarrassing me.

Can you share how she publicly embarrassed you?

Well, it is embarrassing even to tell it here. I said to Lina one day that I wish my breasts were a little bit bigger. I wasn’t about to run out and get breast implants or anything like that, I was pretty happy with my body but a slightly larger chest would have been nice.

Lina had a large chest but it wasn’t the kind that you wished you had. She was overweight and had saggy breasts. She was attractive enough, in a matronly kind of way.

Lina started making weird comments to me about how her breasts were so big and mine were so small. It was a little strange.

After a while, Lina started making rude comments to me publicly. We had eight friends over for a get-together, there were men and women there. During the evening when everyone was there, Lina mentioned how her breasts were so big and if she had to paint the room with her chest it would take her two minutes, but it would take me two weeks because my chest was so much smaller than hers. I could tell other people thought it was a little weird. I was horrified that she would stay such a thing.

How did you respond when she publicly embarrassed you?

Well, I just took it. I was so shocked that someone would say something like that to me publicly, especially in front of mixed company. I was dumbfounded, I couldn’t believe it.

Did you just let it go, what happened?

Well, a couple of weeks later, she said to me “Do my breasts look too big in this shirt?” I responded by saying, “Your chest would probably look a little less saggy in a different shirt.

Lina never mentioned her large breasts to me again. Standing up to her verbally shut her up for good.

Are you still friends?

Well, Lina had some nice traits, she was smart and funny but at the end of the day, she felt comfortable putting me down publicly and embarrassing me in front of others. That’s not exactly what I would describe as a friend.

After all her insults, I decided that I just didn’t want to be around her anymore. In fact, I didn’t want to ever see her again. She had several people drop out of her life and never want to see her again, which is kind of telling.

How did you end the relationship?

I decided to move at a time that wasn’t convenient for her but I didn’t care. Lina was really pissed off about it, but the thing is I felt so uncomfortable around her after her rude behaviour, she really brought it all on herself.

I haven’t seen her since I moved, although I read about her sometimes because she is very successful in her field and is sometimes in media articles. I am really glad about the decision to end the friendship and to have moved on. I just wish that I had found your site I Should Have Said.. earlie, I would have come up with a much better comeback and shut her up earlier. Maybe things would have turned out differently.

DO YOU NEED HELP STANDING UP TO THE DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE?

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What to say to a friend who makes snide comments
What to do when a friend makes snide comments

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with a friend who makes snide comments? Share them in the comments below.

How to respond when people make fun of your hairline

What to say when you are roasted for your hairline

For guys, a receding hairline is one of the worst things that can ever happen, not only does is suck that your hairline is receding, but even worse, it could be leading to a path to baldness.

For some reason people like to make jokes about hairlines, Reddit even has a thread Roast my hairline. No doubt you have heard all the lame hairline jokes before.

Remember every single one of us has something hideous about us that we could all be roasted for, nobody is immune. The guy who is ribbing you may have a spotty face or the girl who makes a snide comment may be carrying a few extra pounds.

There is not much you can do to stop a receding hairline unless you have a ton of cash, but you can certainly shut up the people who are giving you a hard time about it.

Next time someone roasts for your hairline, use one of our clever comebacks below.

DO YOU NEED HELP STANDING UP TO THE DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE?

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Vote for the best comeback when people make fun of your hairline

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Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with someone who makes fun of your hairline? Share them in the comments below.

Top ten things to say to someone who is stuck in their life

Kind things to say to someone who is stuck

It can be hard to watch a friend or a loved one who is stuck in a negative situation. They may be dating a total loser, can’t find the right career path or they are abusing their health? When a person is stuck they are not living up to their true potential or creating the life they are truly worthy of living.

We all have the power to change our lives but some people can’t see that they are actually in charge of their own destiny. They blame others or think that outside circumstances dictate their reality, when in fact it is the action they take and how they think about a certain situation that creates the circumstances of their life.

People have to want to get unstuck from their situation

When you care about someone, you want to step in and make the situation better, but the truth is the only person who has the power to get unstuck is the person themselves. We can’t change something for someone body else, they have to want the change and be willing to put in the work to make it happen.

You are under no obligation to listen to endless complaining about the situation they have got themselves into. A friend of mine used to complain that she was single, I told her she needed to take action or she would remain in the same situation. Low and behold, she found the man of her dreams online and is living her happily ever after.

If you want to give someone a wakeup call, and let them know you think that they’re stuck, use one of our great sayings below.

DO YOU NEED HELP STANDING UP TO THE DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE?

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Top ten things to say to someone who is stuck in their life

  1. Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is more painful than being stuck where you don’t belong.
  2. The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.
  3. The path to success is to take massive, determined action.
  4. Don’t get stuck in your past, use it to fuel your future.
  5. Life doesn’t get better by chance, it gets better by change.
  6. If you always do what you always done, you will always get what you’ve always had.
  7. Only you can change your life, no one can do it for you.
  8. Great things never came from comfort zones.
  9. Your life doesn’t get better by chance, it gets better by change.
  10. If you don’t like the road your walking on, start paving another one.
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Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with an a person who is stuck in their life? Share them in the comments below.

Clever replies when people call you a Goth

Clever replies when people call you a GOTH

Urban dictionary defines a Goth as, “someone who finds beauty in things others consider dark. They love all that is dark and mysterious.”

I have received so many emails from people asking what to say when people call you a Goth, well, this post is for y’all.

If you are a Goth you may have been picked on or singled out at school for being different. People who like to conform probably don’t appreciate your unique and creative style.

Wherever you go there are the mainstream people and then there are people on the fringes who don’t like cookie-cutter homogenous things. It is great to be your own person, to be different and unique. Nobody ever did anything exceptional in the world trying to be like everyone else.

Here are a few things you can say when people give you a hard time for being a Goth

Vote for the best comeback when people call you a Goth

DO YOU NEED HELP STANDING UP TO THE DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE?

Ever feel like you don’t know what to say to the difficult people in your life? Grab our FREE starter guide, so you know not only what to say- but how to say it!

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Clever replies when people call you a goth

Got any comments, questions or tips when people make fun of you for being a Goth? Share them in the comments below.

Top ten things to say to someone acting like a doormat

What to say to a friend being treated like a doormat

Doormats are people who don’t set boundaries with others and allow people to treat them like rubbish. It can be painful to watch others treat someone close to you like a doormat. It could be your girlfriend who lets her boyfriend treat her like crap or your cousin who lets everyone borrow his homework and car.

We all need to learn the ability to stand up to other people and set clear boundaries. When you change your response to how people treat you, they will change their behavior accordingly.

At the end of the day, we teach people how to treat us and what we allow will continue. If we start saying no to certain requests from people, eventually they will stop asking.

DO YOU NEED HELP STANDING UP TO THE DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE?

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I had one friend who was a total user she would use me to get invited to parties and meet new crew members for the airline we worked for. I let it go on for a couple of months until I realized who she really was. I decided to stop sharing which events I was attending, so she couldn’t invite herself along and I started phasing her out.

She no longer had the opportunity to use me and I didn’t even have to verbally confront her. I didn’t want to waste my energy confronting her because he was not someone I wanted to be friends with.

If you have someone in your life who is behaving like a doormat, say something from the list below to give them a wakeup call to change their behaviour.

What to say to someone acting like a doormat

  1. Being a good person does not mean you have to put up with other people’s crap.
  2. You can be a good person with a kind spirit and tell people to f*ck off when needed.
  3. It’s better to let someone walk away from you than walk all over you.
  4. Stop crying about being a doormat and pick yourself up off the floor.
  5. If someone isn’t treating you properly it’s time to stop blaming them. You decide your worth.
  6. Saying yes to happiness means saying no to people and things that stress you out.
  7. You should not have to rip yourself in to pieces to keep others whole.
  8. Unless you want to be trodden on, don’t be a doormat.
  9. You teach people how to treat you, by what you allow, and what you reinforce.
  10. What you allow is what will continue.

DO YOU NEED HELP STANDING UP TO THE DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE?

Ever feel like you don’t know what to say to the difficult people in your life? Grab our FREE starter guide, so you know not only what to say- but how to say it!

How to tell someone to stop being a doormat

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What to say to a person acting like a DOORMAT

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with someone who acts like a doormat? Share them in the comments below.