How to respond when someone asks if your children have the same dad

If your kids don’t look alike, at some point you will be asked at some point of your kids have the same father. Genetics can be a really funny thing, often members of a family can look totally different from one another.

One of my nephews has poker straight hair, the funny thing is that his brother and his parents all have really curly hair. People are always going on about his straight hair and ask if he is really from the same family. People really do ask the strangest questions.

Asking if your kids have the same father is a pretty invasive question, if you don’t want to give a direct answer here are a few things you can say.

10 Best replies when people ask if your kids have the same Dad

1. No, and if you find one of them, give him my number.

2. They also have the same mother!

3. My kids have different DONORS but only one daddy .

4. They all have different baby daddies, variety is the spice of life.

5. Is there are reason you’re asking?

6. Thanks for asking but their parentage is a private matter.

7. I am very proud of my diverse family, we have a lot of love in our life.

8. I am so lucky to have amazing children, and whatever their paternity is doesn’t change that.

9. I don’t focus on my kids biological connections and nor should you.

10. That is a really odd question to ask someone.

Why do people ask if your kids have the same father?

People may ask if your kids have the same father because they are curious about your family’s history. Some people may not be exposed to diverse families and have a general interest in learning more about your unique family structure.

Families vary widely, and some folks may have a lack of knowledge about diversity and their questions can come across as intrusive and rude. If you feel uncomfortable that you are being asked personal questions, you have the right to set limits and refrain from answering personal question. Your family’s make up is a personal matter that you don’t have to share with anyone.

Livi found it shocking when people asked if her kids had the same father

Livi was taken aback by the intrusive question that seemed to follow her wherever she went: “Do your kids have the same father?” It was a question that never failed to startle her, as she navigated the complexities of raising her children as a single mother.

Each time she heard it, she felt a mix of frustration and disbelief that her family’s structure was a topic of public scrutiny. Livi was proud of her children and the unique bond she shared with each of them, regardless of their biological lineage.

Despite the discomfort caused by the question, Livi found strength in her role as a loving and devoted mother. She chose to respond with grace and confidence, gently reminding others that her children were her greatest joy, irrespective of their paternity.

Over time, she realized that her family’s love and unity were not defined by conventional standards, but by the unwavering connection and support they shared. Livi embraced her journey as a mother, finding solace in the unwavering love she held for her children, and the unbreakable bond they shared, regardless of any external perceptions.

The Role of counselling and self care

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When you are dealing with a person who asks if your kids have the same father and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home. 

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

Got any comments, questions or tips when someone asks if your kids have the same father? Share them in the comments below.

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