How to respond when you're asked if you are your child's grandparent

With the cost of living becoming so expensive and new technology options, people are choosing to have children at a much later age.

Older mothers are becoming the new normal, if you chose to have children later in life it may not come as a surprise to be asked the dreaded question, “Are you the grandmother?” Most people who ask this question will be mortified when you answer, and they realize what they have just said. Some women are new moms at 40 others are grandmas at 42.

Kathy was unable to have a child, when a new technology was available she tried it out and became an older mother at 43. She was blessed with a wonderful daughter who is her pride and joy.


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When her daughter started school, one of her young friends would continually ask if she was the Grandmother. It was embarrassing in front of some of the younger moms and other parents. Just know that you are not alone, Kelly Preston announced her pregnancy when she was 47.

Tell us what you think and vote for the best comeback.

10 Best replies for being mistaken for your child’s grandmother instead of mother

1. I’m a late bloomer, I’m actually her mother.

2. No, I am eligible for both Grandma and mother, but I AM her mother.

3. I don’t have any grandkids.

4. I think you are way over due for an eye exam.

5. No, but she’s a GRAND daughter all right.

6. Actually, I’m (insert name) mother, not her grandmother.

7. I can understand your confusion, but I’m proud to be (insert name’s) mom.

8. It’s can be an easy mistake to make, but I’m actually (insert name’s) mother.

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How to deal with being mistaken for your child’s grandmother instead of mother

If you find yourself in the uncomfortable situation of being mistaken for your child’s grandmother instead of their mother, it’s is very embarrassing and more common than you would think. Here are a few ways you can handle the situation:

Respond with grace: Correct the person in a gentle way and let the person know that you are actually the mother.

Educate the person with Kindness: Share that modern families come in all shapes and sizes, cultures and young and old parents. We can’t make assumptions about anything now days with so many diverse families.

Embrace Your Role: Being a parent is such an incredible gift that you are blessed to have. Don’t let someone else’s world view affect your happiness, instead focus on your strong relationship with your child.

Remember that being mistaken for your child’s grandmother is a common occurrence, and how you can handle the situation any way you choose. No matter what your age, what truly matters is your loving relationship with your child.

Tasha was embarrassed when she was asked if she was her daughter’s grandmother

Tasha felt a pang of embarrassment as she overheard the comment from one of the mothers at the school playground. “Oh, there’s Daisy’s grandma,” the woman remarked, completely unaware that Tasha was, in fact, Daisy’s mother. The assumption stung, and Tasha struggled to mask her discomfort as she navigated the awkward moment.

Despite her initial embarrassment, she chose to respond with grace, offering a warm smile and a gentle correction. However, the encounter left her feeling self-conscious and wishing that others would be more mindful of making assumptions about family dynamics.

As she reflected on the incident, Tasha realized that assumptions about age and family roles are not uncommon, and she resolved to approach such situations with patience and understanding.

She recognized the need to gently educate others about the diverse ways in which families are formed and the importance of avoiding hasty judgments based on appearances. Tasha found empowerment in using these moments as opportunities to foster awareness and promote acceptance of the varied family structures within their community, ultimately turning an uncomfortable encounter into a catalyst for positive change.

The Role of counselling and self care

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When you are dealing with a person who says you are your child’s grandparent and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home. 

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.


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