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Ask Bryn – What should I say to my nasty female boss

Ask Bryn - What should I say to my mean and negative boss?

Ask Bryn

Excellent, excellent website – best I have read yet!!!! Question: We work in an office setting with someone who is so controlling, offensive, annoying and downright knows it all, and passive-aggressive. We thought when she finally got pregnant she would simmer – she is the same except now she is the only person who has a child that “needs her” or husband that “needs her”. Whenever she wants to do overtime it’s ok – but when we want to “my husband and kid need me – this place ain’t getting any more out of me”.

Every customer call she takes she has to repeat the whole story and say how stupid they were. She talks all day about how “stupid or dumb” everyone is in our organization and life. It is truly exhausting and you can never win with her. She is racist against every religion, race, and anyone outside her immediate family.

Leaving our career is definitely not an option so we need some comebacks to shut her up -(and they have to be somewhat white because she really strikes back fast about everything – as you can imagine 😉 Oh and whatever you say to her – she will come back passive aggressive (but she hates the passive aggressiveness of people). It is quite entertaining – but exhausting !!!

Anne Marie, Canada


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Hi Ann- Marie,

Bryn Connor

Yikes, she sounds like a nightmare! The problem with people like your boss is whatever you say she will turn it and use it against you. If you don’t want to lose your job, and I assume that you don’t, you had better not use a comeback.

What you can do instead is say a few nice things, which can have a couple of different results. She will either stop talking to you because some people just like to complain and you won’t be someone who will indulge that, so she will move on and bitch to somebody else. She may also end up thinking you’re nice and leave you alone.

Sometimes in life, you have to not just win the battle and instead win the war. It can be in your best interest to kill with kindness.

Here are a few things to say if she is complaining about something

  1. Life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs but it is your choice whether to scream and enjoy the ride or not.
  2. Some days you’re the dog, and some days you’re the fire hydrant.
  3. When nothing goes right… go left.
  4. Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms.
  5. Some days you have to create your own sunshine.
  6. Focus on the things you can change and let go of the things you can’t.

Good luck and let me know how it goes.


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2 Responses

  1. Hi, I’ve seen some pretty good come backs for all kinds of situations but there’s this one girl in one of my classes and she always calls me a brat. I usually have a comeback but I’m running out of them and I don’t want to be mean but maybe if I say the perfect comeback she will back off. Please write back thank you!

    1. You could say “Oh wow, really? Thanks! I was trying to act like you, and I guess I nailed it!”

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