My best friend has gone ghost on me

Ask Bryn

Hi Bryn… This guy who used to be my good friend started getting mad at me one day then he stopped responding to my texts, he quit every group chat our friend group was in and bailed on this hangout we were planning on doing for weeks. I later found out that he was gaming with his other friends and went to escape room with his new popular girl friends. Then, we stopped talking and now we’re acting like we were never close before and we never ever text and we act like we’re just classmates who don’t really know each other. He then blocked me on Instagram as a joke (I know it was a joke coz he told me) then when i asked him to unblock me he laughed and playfully shoved me and said, “nah”. Then when i asked him again he said “k” but never actually did anything. Now I feel like I sound desperate continuously asking him to unblock me… What’s a comeback to get someone to unblock you?

Confused, US

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Hey Confused,

I am sorry to hear that you have had such a hurtful experience with someone you considered to be your good friend. It is really painful when someone you consider a friend betrays you. If he wanted to unblock you he would have, I don’t think using a comeback will help the situation.

What I think you need to ask you yourself is why you would want to be close to someone who treated you poorly. If he did it once, he will probably do it again. I don’t think someone who goes ghost on you after years of friendship is really a good friend.

I would distance myself from him for a while, you can’t force someone to hang out with you. Maybe he will come to his senses and apologize for his shitty behaviour. If someone treats you badly and you are always there like a puppy, they will think they can continue to treat you poorly and you will just take it.  You deserve better treatment!

Here are a few things you can say to let him know he is being a jerk. Only say these if he contacts you, don’t go out of your way to contact him. The comebacks below will let him know you are aware of his mean behaviour, and let him know that you have a different standard of what you will tolerate from him.

What to say when someone is ignoring you

1. Let me know when you’re available so I can make sure I’m busy.
2. No calls I understand. No texts I understand. When you see me with someone else I hope you can understand.
3. I’ve learned not to take it personally when you are ignoring me, just don’t take it personally when I ignore you.
4. Thanks for ignoring my calls and texts while updating your Facebook multiple times.

Wishing you all good things.

Bryn

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