My friend keeps bad mouthing another friend of mine

Ask Bryn

Hey Bryn,

Um I have a question, so I’m friends with a girl that I have been friends with for a long time (old friend), but last year something happened between her and another one of my friends (rude friend). Rude friend keeps saying rude things about my old friend, and is always bringing up what happened. Whenever my old friend compliments me on a post that I make, even if it isn’t related to what happened, (it never is related) rude friend wants me  to delete the whole post that I did.

I want to know if you know a polite way to answer when rude friend asks in a rude way why I am friends with old friend still. I don’t want to ruin either friendship, both of them are very important to me.  Please respond to this when you get a chance!! I really need help!!!!

Bridget, USA

***

Hey Bridget,

You sound like you are handling things well considering you are in a very difficult situation. When someone complains publicly about someone, it says much more about them than the person they are complaining about. I understand you want to keep both friends, and hopefully she will be mature enough to eventually see that. There are always two sides to every story.

I have included a few polite things you can say, if she starts getting really rude you can try a more direct comeback.

Polite version

1. I never judge someone by the opinion of another.
2. There’s always two sides to every story. But all I can say is it’s over and done.
3. A lot of problems would disappear if people would talk to each other instead of about each other.
4. There are two sides to every story. There’s the person bitching and the person that thinks the other is an idiot.
5. There are two sides to every story and usually they are both wrong.

If she keeps going on and on

1. Really, you know what that sounds like… not my problem.
2. You’re like a plunger, you keep bringing up old shit.
3. Not my circus not my monkeys.
4. I understand, I just don’t care.

PS: Don’t delete your blog posts because your friend doesn’t like what you post.

Good luck!

Bryn

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