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Why does my child get teased by the kids at school?

Parents often ask me, “Why does my child get teased?” The truth is, all kids get teased at some point in time. I’m sure when you think back to your own childhood, you were probably teased for something, and you can remember exactly why they made fun of you.

Usually, people get teased or made fun of for something obvious, like they have a big nose or red hair or they are overweight. That is usually the first thing people will point out and make fun of.

We all have something that we can be teased about, and how you respond will determine whether the teasing is going to stop or continue. If you get upset and overwhelmed when someone is making fun of you, then the bully will know that you’re a perfect target, who will just take their abuse.

When a kid gets visibly upset and doesn’t respond when they are picked on, the bully will double down and pick on the child even more.

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Teach your kids to shut down teasing quickly

The worst thing a parent can do is tell their child to just take it and not to say anything back, which can lead to the teasing escalating. You are basically putting a target on your child’s back to be picked on.

Well meaning parents often say, “Be the bigger person and don’t say anything back.” Or they tell the child to go to the teacher to help sort things out. The problem with that advice is kids tease when the teacher isn’t around.

Parents need to give their children the skills to shut down teasing right away, and you can quickly do that with verbal self defense. Verbal self defense is a skill that can be easily taught within an hour. Many adults don’t know how to stand up for themselves because they were never taught as children, and it causes them endless frustration.

We have a process that works tremendously well and that kids can learn quickly in our bundle Verbal Self Defense for Kids Made Easy.

And the reason that it works is that people just don’t know how to respond when you have an amazing comeback and they just move on to someone else. Think about it, nobody likes to be embarrassed, right? People’s brains are not wired to respond when they are caught off guard with a clever response.

Who gets teased at school?

Kids who don’t respond or get upset are the first to be targeted. Would you tease someone who would respond with a funny reply or someone who will just take it? Obviously, you aren’t going to pick on someone who says something clever back to you.

When you say something funny back, they don’t know what to say, they’re going to start picking on someone else in their class.

Learning to shut down teasing is a life skill that kids can use to stand up for themselves for life. If you spend an hour teaching your child verbal self defense it can truly be life changing.

Turning around a bullying situation around for your child

Kids are going to need your help to turn a bullying situation around. If your child is being bullied, most likely your child will not be able to figure it out on their own.

You may feel paralyzed because you don’t know what to do. For parents it can be overwhelming to know where to start, and it can be emotionally devastating to find out that your child is being bullied and picked on.

But there are things that you can do to help turn a bullying situation around.

Step 1: Does your child project anything that makes them a bully target?

The first thing to turn the bullying situation around is to help your child show up in a new way. Often children have traits or behaviours that make them an easy target.

And it’s not that they’re doing anything wrong. It’s just that a behaviour singles them out by other kids.

And the same things goes for adults. Adults have behaviorus that others judge them by. I don’t know about you but if someone was rude to wait staff I would definitely be put off.

It’s time to put on your deductive reasoning hat and figure out what the problem is and see if your child’s doing anything to alienate peers.

This can be done the same way doctors look at a patient to rule out symptoms. Once you are aware what is causing the problem, you can get to work fixing it.

Step 2: Getting the schools help with the bullying

The other thing that you need to do to turn a bullying situation around is work with the school.

You need to find out what has been going on and report it to your child’s teacher. You may have a situation that is escalating and you need to get the principal involved to get it to stop.

Some bullies are extremely manipulative and often teachers have no clue that kids are being bullied. The bully waits until the teacher is not around, and then they make their move.

At first bullies often deny that they have done anything wrong. Parents need to be prepared when they talk to the school. You will need to extract and capture what exactly has been going on.

Watch our free training on how you can bully proof your child.

You can get the bullying to stop.

Your child is going need your help to turn this situation around. The sooner you assist your kid with the skills and support that they need the sooner it will stop.

Bullying is truly a journey that no parents want to go through. We have helped many families put an end to bullying quickly with our Bully Proof Your Child Tookit.

Free workshop to bully proof your child

Free workshop to learn how to protect your child from bullies

Sign up here: to watch the free workshop to bully proof your child. We will walk you through what to do to stop your child from being bullied.

All kids are going to get picked on at some point in time. And whether the bullying escalates or stops usually depends on how your child responds in the situation.

A child can be teased because others are jealous, etc. But if your child has behaviour that’s causing them to be singled out and targeted, going to the teacher and complaining about it will only shut the bullying down temporarily.

It is like putting a bandaid on your child, it isn’t a long term solution.

The best way that we can help our kids is to make sure that they’re not doing anything to be singled out, or picked on. If they are getting picked on, they need to know what they can say, to make it stop immediately and not escalate.

How do I know all this you may be asking? I’ve been through it with my own child, and it was traumatic and stressful, and I just wish that it could have been a whole lot easier. And it can be, if you know what to do, and make it stop right away.

It was very painful for our entire family because what people don’t realize is that if your child is being picked on it affects the entire family because as a parent, you feel helpless because you’ve never been through this before and you want to protect your child and you may not have the tools to do so.

The three areas to bully proof your child are covered in the free training

If you want to know the three things, three secrets that you can use to help your child sign up for our free Bully Proof Your Child training, and it will make life a whole lot easier for you and your child.

The thing is you can’ t improve a situation if you don’t know what to fix. Kids can be bullied and singled out because they are missing major social cues. Parents can help a child improve the situation, with a few simple tweaks.

Another big shift can happen when kids are in grade 5, when many of the kids have matured and other kids are scrambling to learn the new social rules. Some kids can’t figure out why they no longer fit in with their friends or why they are giving them the cold shoulder.

When your child is being bullied or picked on it is like a puzzle that you have to figure out and get to the bottom of. It can take a long time, but when you know where to start it gets a lot easier to navigate.

I found out from kids why some children are excluded and bullied

There are quite a few variables to figure out. I interviewed young people to find out what helps kids fit in at school and what social clues lead to excursion. Let me tell you, it was an eye opener to find out why some kids are excluded or bullied.

Watch our free training on how to protect your child from bullies. Believe me, your child will be glad that you did.

Bullying is incredibly stressful for the entire family

Bully is stressful for every member of the family

People don’t realize how much time it takes to deal with a bullying situation. Kids may not be forthcoming with information or can’t fully process why the kids at school are being so mean towards them. Parents have to figure out what is really happening with their child.

Bullying can be like a relationship break up in the sense that everything makes sense after the break up. You realize that someone has been giving you the cold shoulder over a period of time. For kids who have never experienced anything like this before, they may miss many of the social cues.

There is so much that needs to be done to resolve a bullying situation

Parents need to report what happened to the school, and set up a meeting with the school. For parents who work, they have to take time off to go to a meeting with the principal and the teacher.

It is emotionally exhausting because you’re also trying to be strong for your child even though you feel like a nervous wreck yourself. When your child is bullied parents need to boost their child’s confidence and rebuild their self esteem, which has been under attack.

Bullying really affects the entire family, and parents need support too. Bullying is one of the most stressful things that a family can ever go through. While you are dealing with the emotional turmoil of bullying you don’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with other things.

Bullying is not something that your child’s going to figure out on their own. Children need support when they go through a situation like this and it’s up to parents to provide guidance.

To make sure that the bullying doesn’t escalate it is important for parents to be advocates and help their child get the bullying to stop quickly. Things can escalate quickly when your child becomes a target.

We had been friends with the parents of the boy who bullied our son. After all of the stress this boy caused our entire family, I was done with all of them. The boy didn’t just bully our son, he caused an avalanche of stress on our family.

Sign up here: to watch the free workshop to bully proof your child. We will walk you through what to do to stop your child from being bullied.

How to respond to I was just kidding

We’ve all experienced someone saying “Just kidding”, after a mean comment.

It could be a friend, a family member, somebody at work, and you know they don’t have your best interests at heart.

You get that funny feeling in your stomach because you know the person meant it in an unkind way.

And when you look at them in shock after the cruel remark they say, “just kidding!” It’s a passive-aggressive tactic being used so that you can’t call them out on it.

Rude insults leave people feeling terrible. Being insulted with digs, and niggly comments and being unable to defend yourself is frustrating. Often the trouble maker will do it in public in front of others.

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Urban Dictionary defines just kidding as, “Used by someone as a way to soften a direct insult by saying it was just a joke, although the person doing the insulting still means the insult after the Just kidding!”

When you call the person out for their nasty behaviour they may try and reprimand you and say that “you are too sensitive.”

I’m going to give you something that you can say in front of others so that you can call attention to the person’s rude remark and they will be less likely to insult you again any time soon.

What to say to just joking or I was kidding after a mean remark

If that’s your sense of humour you should prepare to get cancelled pretty soon.

Wow, did you mean to be so rude?

That is is not at all funny, that’s just rude.

Wow, that is a reallly unkind thing to say!

In our, Verbal Self Defense Made Easy bundle, we have a cheat sheet, with a huge list of things that you can say to friends and family who make snide comments.

And if you know that someone has a habit of doing this, be prepared.

These little digs and nasty comments chip away at your soul, and it’s even worse when it’s from a supposed good friend or family member.

When you have someone doing this to you publicly, others may think it is fair game to gang up on you, join in or make derogatory remarks. It’s best to nip it in the bud and get the person to stop right away.

If you have kids they are modeling you as to what they consider to be acceptable behaviour. It is not okay for your children to see you being repeatedly put down.

You deserve better.

I’m here to tell you that and you have the right to say something back and tell the person to stop.

Why does my child get teased by the kids at school?

JOIN THE FREE WORKSHOP TO BULLY PROOF YOUR CHILD

Teach your kids to shut down teasing quickly

Who gets teased at school?

More posts you might like

Got any comments, questions or tips for kids who are getting teased at school? Share them in the comments below.

Turning around a bullying situation around for your child

Step 1: Does your child project anything that makes them a bully target?

Step 2: Getting the schools help with the bullying

More posts you might like

Got any comments, questions or tips for stopping a bullying situation? Share them in the comments below.

Free workshop to bully proof your child

The three areas to bully proof your child are covered in the free training

I found out from kids why some children are excluded and bullied

More posts you might like

Bullying is incredibly stressful for the entire family

There is so much that needs to be done to resolve a bullying situation

More posts you might like

Got any comments, questions about how bullying is stressful for the entire family? Share them in the comments below.

How to respond to I was just kidding

WANT TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF?

What to say to just joking or I was kidding after a mean remark

More posts you might like

Do you have a tip for dealing with people who say, “just kidding” that you think people should know about? Leave it in the comments below.

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