Top Ten Comebacks for Jerks

Great comebacks for JERKS

We have all met a jerk who makes every situation difficult and never realizes that they are the problem. You don’t have to try to win over the haters; after all, you are not the jerk whisperer. Life is way too short to spend your valuable time dealing with jerks. Sometimes a jerk will have it out for you for no reason. They may verbally attack you, belittle you in public, or embarrass you.

I went to pick up my nephew from school one day. One of the parents, a 40-year-old jerk, was on the playground. I had heard about him from others, putting kids down while elevating his own kid to look better.

My nephew was applying to a high school that was challenging to get into at the time. This guy said to him, “Do you really think that you will be in the 20 percent who will get accepted?” I just couldn’t believe that an adult could be so unkind to a kid!

If you can get the jerk out of your life, do so as soon as possible. Don’t waste your precious time thinking about the idiot.

If you get tired of putting up with the jerk and their nasty behavior, here are a few snappy comebacks to let them know they need to back off.

Top ten snappy comebacks for jerks

  1. You have the rest of your life to be a jerk, why not take today off?
  2. Jesus loves you but everyone thinks you’re a jerk.
  3. Oh, I heard you. I just don’t care.
  4. Remember that time you shut the f*uck up? Me neither
  5. The jerk store called, they’re running out of you.
  6. I would love to insult you but I’m afraid I wouldn’t do as well as nature did.
  7. You’re the reason nobody likes you.
  8. You’re like a hemorrhoid, a pain the ass who won’t go away.
  9. I love the sound you make when you shut up.
  10. Your dick belongs in your pants, not your personality.

Be prepared next time you run into a jerk

If you have to deal with a jerk who gives you a hard time, our book Snappy Comebacks any Situation can help you out. Be prepared for difficult people with clever responses on your phone or device any time or anywhere.

I received this email from a jerk

An Email I received from a jerk

This email made me laugh because this guy was such a jerk and yet he couldn’t see it.

He comes to a website with free content and then complains he has to scroll down slightly on his phone. Talk about first world problems, imagine if Mark had to walk a mile to a well to get water for his family.

It would have taken him a lot longer to find the web page to submit a comment than to scroll down past a couple of lines of text. We all have a choice of how we chose to spend time on this planet, some petty people spend their lives majoring in minor things.

Everyone has to deal with haters in their lives. I sent Mark the following message.

reply to an email hater

I should have said, “You have the rest of your life to be a jerk, why not take today off?”

They say that every bad situation contains the seed of good as well. I was thinking of ways to expand my content and Mark has just given me the idea to share emails from morons to prove a point.

Thanks, Mark!

When your dealing with a JERK, shut them ups with a comeback.

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Justin Timberlake had to deal with a lot of jerks in high school

Justin Timberlake, Gage Skidmore, Wikipedia Commons

Singer Justin Timberlake wasn’t so popular growing up because he preferred music to football and in the
state of Tennessee, where he grew up, that just wasn’t considered cool. He’s pretty popular with the ladies now, but he reveals he was picked on all the time at school and he had I had terrible acne and weird hair. When Justin was on the Ellen Dengeneres show he said, “The thing about life … is …… is … everything … you feel makes you weird is essentially what’s gonna make you sexy as an adult…. When you’re a kid I think you try so hard to fit in and when you get older you realize that fitting in isn’t really the thing that’s more interesting…. I would not be here if I would have listened to the kids who told me I was a terrible singer and I was a sissy…. Be different.”

Check out what to say when someone acts like a jerk towards you

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with a jerk? Share them in the comments below.

Great comebacks when someone says that you’re insecure

How to respond if you are called INSECURE

We all have things we are insecure about, maybe it’s your flabby thighs, you’re becoming forgetful or you can’t spell to save your life. None of us are perfect nor ever will we ever be.

When you have someone in your life who keeps pointing out your insecurities it can be offensive, especially if they know it is something you are sensitive about. It’s one thing for your uncle to point out how big your feet are, but does he need to mention it at every family gathering!

Sometimes people make comments pretending to have your best interests at heart when they are actually making a snide remark. Now those are the people who are truly in need of a good comeback.

These comebacks will let the offender know you are not interested in their unsolicited snarky comments next time they call you insecure.

Go ahead, tell us what you think and vote for the best answer.

Vote for the best comeback when people call you insecure


What to say when you are called insecure

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Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with someone who calls you insecure? Share them in the comments below.