smartass comebacks

Top ten comebacks for obnoxious people

Annoying and obnoxious people are everywhere; they are in line at the grocery store, at the movies or even at your Thanksgiving dinner. Dealing with obnoxious individuals can be very aggravating and can cause a lot of stress.

Obnoxious people don’t realize that they are the cause of the problem. They go through life clashing with everyone they come into contact with and have conflict in many of their relationships. They never seem to figure out what they are doing wrong or why they don’t have many close friends.

Eden was excited to see an old friend from school who had moved away to a foreign country for a couple of years. Savannah was back in town, Eden decided to invite her family over for a get together. They were both now 16 years old, last time they saw each other they were 14.

As soon as Savannah arrived at her old friend’s house she had a rude attitude towards everyone. She proceeded to insult the pie that Eden had made from scratch saying it was terrible. The rest of the time she just sat on her phone and ignored everyone in the group. She then stood up and said, “We should go this is really boring.” The host family all just stared in shock, their lower jaw hanging open.

Some people are just not worth the effort! When you clean your house, cook for someone and welcome them into your home you don’t expect to be insulted. When you witnessing shockingly bad behaviour you decide that some people are just not the kind of people you want to spend time with.

If you have had enough, here are a few snappy comebacks to get your point across.

What to say to an obnoxious person

Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up
Is there an app I can download to make you go away?
The level of your obnoxious is obnoxious.
You should introduce your lower lip to your upper lip sometime and shut up!
How do I block you in real life?
You sir are the human version of period cramps.
There are several people in this world that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them.
I like the noise you make when you shut the f*ck up.
It is impressive that you are flexible enough to have your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass.
Damn bitch. Are you a smoke detector cause you are really f*cking loud and annoying.

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Kanye West has had a lot of obnoxious behaviour over the years

The world would be a better place if Kanye West kept to rapping and gave up the obnoxious trash talk. When he isn’t interrupting award speeches, he’s social media stirring up drama. Kanye has to constantly apologize to other celebrities for his bad behaviour, you would think he would eventually realize that he is better off keeping his mouth shut.

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with an obnoxious person? Share them in the comments below.

Top ten comebacks for someone who won’t shut up

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Are you ever overwhelmed with the urge to tell someone to shut up? There are chatty people who engage in genuine conversations which is fine, but non stop talkers who talk at you are frustrating and exhausting.

Some people monopolize conversations, stopping anyone else from getting a word in. Often, the conversation hog doesn’t get to the point or goes off on tangents driving their listeners crazy. The funny thing is that they don’t even notice that they have lost their audience.

If you can’t take it anymore, here are a few things you can say to let the windbag know that you have had enough.

What to say to someone who won’t shut up

Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.
You sound so sexy, when you’re not talking.
You would be much more likable if it wasn’t for that hole in your mouth that noise comes out of.
You know what’s funny. Not you, so shut up.
It’s never too late to shut up and mind your own business.
I love the sound you make when you shut up.
If I wanted to listen to an asshole I’d fart.
It’s time to shut up. If I wanted your opinion all of the time I would have married you.
In case you didn’t see the look I just gave you. Shut up!
Remember that time you shut the f*uck up? Me neither.

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Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing for dealing with someone who won’t shut up? Share them in the comments below.

Top ten comebacks for troublemakers

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Have you ever had to deal with someone who is manipulative and loves to cause trouble? Every office or school has a troublemaker and causing drama is their unique calling. Having to deal with a troublemaker can make you not want to attend an event, work or go to school.

Troublemakers like to stir up controversy by spreading gossip and starting rumors about people, then they turn around and act all innocent claiming they were only trying to help the situation.

Here are a few snappy comebacks to let the troublemaker know you are onto them and their manipulative behaviour.

What to say to a troublemaker

Congratulations on your ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing.
Don’t tell me what they said about me, tell me why they were so comfortable saying it around you.
I see you brought your extra large spoon to stir up trouble.
You don’t like drama? Funny how your name comes up as executive producer on every single episode around you!
I am returning your nose. I found it in my business.
Stop creating a drama and then complaining about it.
It is a actually pretty easy not to be a shitty human being.Try it sometime.
So, let me get this straight, you talk shit about me then you make it into MY problem when I say something.
If drama follows you wherever you go. Maybe you are the drama.
I hope one day you choke on all the shit you talk.

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Kevin O’Leary is known for being a troublemaker

Comebacks for someone who always makes excuses

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Are you tired of someone in your life who constantly makes excuses for their behaviour or lack of results? Some folks have an excuse for everything, and they are always pointing the finger and blaming others for all of the disappointment in their lives.

Actor, Jamie Foxx, grew up in Terrell, Texas, where he experienced racial discrimination as a black child growing up in a segregated community. He was abandoned by his own parents and raised by his mother’s foster parents. Even though his own father lived 28 miles away, he didn’t visit or make contact with Jamie while he was growing up.

Jamie began playing the piano when he was five years of age, he was at the top of his class academically and became a school basketball player and quarterback on the high school team. He also sang in a band and a choir. He worked hard and has gone on to become a triple threat a comedian, an actor, and a singer.

Even after he became famous, his parents still weren’t interested in having a relationship with him. If anybody deserves to feel hard done by and making excuses it’s Jamie Foxx. He doesn’t complain, he just keeps going and reaching for new goals.

If you don’t want to hear lame excuses anymore, here are a few snappy comebacks you can say to shut the person up.

Vote for the best comeback for someone who always makes excuses

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Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with a person who is always making excuses? Share them in the comments below.

Top ten comebacks for put downs

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When someone is putting you down in public and embarrassing you in front of others it is completely unacceptable. The bully’s intent is to make someone else feel inferior so they can feel powerful. Confident secure people who are happy with themselves don’t feel the need to belittle others.

You have a choice of who you spend time with, you don’t have to accept bad behaviour from rude and disrespectful people. Sure, some people have had tough lives it’s true, but you’re not a punching bag for someone who hasn’t dealt with their unresolved issues.

When someone puts you down, don’t blindly accept their criticism as the truth. Even when a boss or teacher criticizes you their judgment could be completely wrong. When Thomas Edison was in school a teacher told him that he wouldn’t be successful at school because he was “too stupid to learn anything.” When he started working, his first two bosses didn’t that think he was a productive worker and he was fired from his job. At first, he wasn’t a successful inventor, his 1001 attempt at figuring out the lightbulb was successful. Imagine if Thomas Edison had listened to all of that negative feedback, we could all still be sitting in the dark!

You have a right to verbally respond to the negative situation and let the person know that you don’t accept their framing. Let the person know that they need to back off using one of our comebacks below.

Put downs are such a big problem, I actually wrote two blog posts about this topic, this is this post contains the raunchier comebacks, if you are looking for a politer comebacks for put downs, check out this post.

Top ten comebacks for put downs (Rude version)

Those penis enlargement pills are working. You are twice the dick you were yesterday.
I’d like to see your point of view but I can’t get my head that far up my ass.
Oh, you think you know everything? Well here is something you don’t know, you’re annoying.
If you have a problem with me, then cry me a river and drown yourself in it.
You would be much more likeable if it wasn’t for that hole in your mouth that noise comes out of.
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see that you already have one.
I’d slap you but that would be animal abuse.
In order for you to insult me I would have to value your opinion. Nice try though.
If you think you’re so hot, why don’t you go f*ck yourself.
I farted… that’s as close as you’re going to get to me giving a shit.