When someone is putting you down in public and embarrassing you in front of others it is completely unacceptable. The bully’s intent is to make someone else feel inferior so they can feel powerful. Confident secure people who are happy with themselves don’t feel the need to belittle others.
You have a choice of who you spend time with, you don’t have to accept bad behaviour from rude and disrespectful people. Sure, some people have had tough lives it’s true, but you’re not a punching bag for someone who hasn’t dealt with their unresolved issues.
When someone puts you down, don’t blindly accept their criticism as the truth. Even when a boss or teacher criticizes you their judgment could be completely wrong. When Thomas Edison was in school a teacher told him that he wouldn’t be successful at school because he was “too stupid to learn anything.” When he started working, his first two bosses didn’t that think he was a productive worker and he was fired from his job. At first, he wasn’t a successful inventor, his 1001 attempt at figuring out the lightbulb was successful. Imagine if Thomas Edison had listened to all of that negative feedback, we could all still be sitting in the dark!
You have a right to verbally respond to the negative situation and let the person know that you don’t accept their framing. Let the person know that they need to back off using one of our comebacks below.
Put downs are such a big problem, I actually wrote two blog posts about this topic, this is this post contains the raunchier comebacks, if you are looking for a politer comebacks for put downs, check out this post.
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Top ten comebacks for put downs (Rude version)
1. Those penis enlargement pills are working. You are twice the dick you were yesterday.
2. I’d like to see your point of view but I can’t get my head that far up my ass.
3. Oh, you think you know everything? Well here is something you don’t know, you’re annoying.
4. If you have a problem with me, then cry me a river and drown yourself in it.
5. You would be much more likeable if it wasn’t for that hole in your mouth that noise comes out of.
6. I was going to give you a nasty look but I see that you already have one.
7. I’d slap you but that would be animal abuse.
8. In order for you to insult me I would have to value your opinion. Nice try though.
9. If you think you’re so hot, why don’t you go f*ck yourself.
10. I farted… that’s as close as you’re going to get to me giving a shit.
Definition of a put down
A put down is a negative remark or critical behaviour towards someone with a clear motive of making them feel less than. Verbal or non-verbal, intentional or not, a put down results to emotional and mental damage, creating an uncomfortable environment.
Dealing with a person who puts you down
Nobody likes to be chummy-chummy with the person who continuously rains on your parade.
But if you can’t get them to stop, maybe you can use these tips as your umbrella from the tumultuous “put-down” shower.
1. Set boundaries with people who put others down
You have to be precise about what you can and can’t tolerate. That’s what setting boundaries is for, to establish where your limits are.
And along with that invisible fence is openly communicating to the person who puts you down. Let them be aware of their bad behaviour and be clear about where that space ends.
2. Communicate effectively
Ever heard the saying, “clear is kind, unclear is kind?
If you are precise about your feelings and needs, there’s a great chance your boundaries will be respected. You can do so by communicating effectively. Express your side of things but also see from their point of view. This is how you’re going to settle the issue.
3. Don’t take it personally
A person who puts down others will say whatever they can to steal your thunder. Besides, people who tend to put others down have insecurities and issues they love to reflect on others.
Knowing all these, why should you take whatever they say personally?
4. Surround yourself with positivity
You need to counter bad energy with good energy.
If you’re getting so much toxicity from having to deal with a put-down, you can harbor positive energy from friends and family. They’ll bring sunshine into your doom and gloom.
5. Seek professional help
Constantly hearing negative remarks all the time is bad for your mental health. At some point, it will eventually get into your head. That moment when it does, it can lead to anxiety and depression.
If that happens, it’s good to have a professional support system to help you cope with the situation.
The point of these tips is to help you get over negative comments and bad behaviour. Dealing with a negative person more positively without compromising your happiness and well-being is the best way to go.
Just remember to never respond to negativity. The more you’re away from it, the happier your life will become.
More top ten comeback lists you might like
- Top ten comebacks for put downs (polite version)
- Top ten comebacks for haters
- More comebacks you might like
People called out for putting others down
Putting people down is not something to be proud of. For sure, these famous celebs feel the same way, despite having to partake in such behaviour.
Here’s our list of public figures who are masters of “put-downs.”
1. Simon Cowell
Simon Cowell on the judge’s table adds the fear factor, that’s for sure.
The music executive is known to make harsh comments and criticize contestants on “American Idol” and “The X Factor” who don’t live up to his standards. Though it’s part of his job, some argue he shouldn’t be so hard on others.
2. Piers Morgan
Whether it’s the royal family or his misogynistic views, Piers Morgan doesn’t hold his tongue. In social media or during interviews, he has made tons of controversial statements over the course of his career. And doesn’t seem a bit sorry for it.
3. Wendy Williams
You’re going to hear serious on-air spats from Wendy William. The TV personality built almost the entirety of her career smack-talking celebrities on her show — from Justin Bieber to Meghan Markle. No one has escaped her grating scrutiny.
No one should put up with negative comments from anyone, especially if they’re not true. And while it’s important to approach people with empathy and understanding, at times, you have to just stand up for yourself.
Not that we’re insinuating to pick fights with others, protect yourself by openly communicating your feelings and addressing issues that bother you. That’s how you encourage a positive attitude and behaviour, not just for yourself but for others as well.
The Role of counselling and self care
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When you are dealing with someone who is putting you down in public and embarrassing you in front of others and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.
Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home.
Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.