What to say when someone puts you down

Have you ever been around someone who keeps putting you and others down and making snide comments? The critic sees fault everywhere they look, yet they fail to see their own limitations. A truly happy, confident person doesn’t feel the need to make everyone around them feel like crap. The problem isn’t with you. It’s with the toxic person who tries to act superior but truly feels inferior underneath it all.

I had a job once working for a crazy person She would boost one person up telling them that they were wonderful, and she would pick another person to simultaneously terrorize. Janice, my mean-spirited boss, would freak out about minor things and badmouth other staff members, all while wasting tons of company money.

One outstanding staff member went way beyond the call of duty and did a great job for her. When she left the company, Janice gave her the worst reference I have ever heard, full of personal insults and put-downs.


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Well, there is justice in this world because Janice was fired, and her sorry ass was removed from the company. They finally figured out why there was so much staff turnover when the CEO brought in a friend to work for him and he shared what had been going on. Being condescending and putting others down didn’t end well for Janice. Karma turned around and kicked her in the ass.

If you get tired of someone putting you down and bringing you down, here are some clever comebacks to let them know they need to back off.

Great comebacks when someone puts you down

1. I don’t understand people who hate their lives enough to criticize everyone around…but not enough to fix their own.

2. You only feel like extinguishing my fire because you are unable to light a match and start your own.

3. Some people will always have something to say and nothing to contribute.

4. Why don’t you try and fix yourself instead of trying to break me?

5. Just because you’ve chosen a label for me doesn’t mean I’ve chosen to wear it.

6. You know, all the makeup and the clothes can’t change what an ugly person you really are!

7. Happy, secure people have no need to put others down.

8. Know what’s funny? Not you, so shut up!

9. Please cancel my subscription; I have had enough of your issues.

10. Bitch, please you’ve got more issues than Vogue.

Definition of a put down

A put down is a negative remark or critical behaviour towards someone with a clear motive of making them feel less than. Verbal or non-verbal, intentional or not, a put down results to emotional and mental damage, creating an uncomfortable environment.

Dealing with a person who puts you down

Nobody likes to be chummy-chummy with the person who continuously rains on your parade.

But if you can’t get them to stop, maybe you can use these tips as your umbrella from the tumultuous “put-down” shower.

1.      Set boundaries with people who put others down

You have to be precise about what you can and can’t tolerate. That’s what setting boundaries is for, to establish where your limits are.

And along with that invisible fence is openly communicating to the person who puts you down. Let them be aware of their bad behaviour and be clear about where that space ends.

2.      Communicate effectively

Ever heard the saying, “clear is kind, unclear is kind?

If you are precise about your feelings and needs, there’s a great chance your boundaries will be respected. You can do so by communicating effectively. Express your side of things but also see from their point of view. This is how you’re going to settle the issue.

3.  Don’t take it personally

A person who puts down others will say whatever they can to steal your thunder. Besides, people who tend to put others down have insecurities and issues they love to reflect on others.

  Knowing all these, why should you take whatever they say personally?

4.      Surround yourself with positivity

You need to counter bad energy with good energy.

If you’re getting so much toxicity from having to deal with a put-down, you can harbor positive energy from friends and family. They’ll bring sunshine into your doom and gloom.

5.      Seek professional help

Constantly hearing negative remarks all the time is bad for your mental health. At some point, it will eventually get into your head. That moment when it does, it can lead to anxiety and depression.

If that happens, it’s good to have a professional support system to help you cope with the situation.

The point of these tips is to help you get over negative comments and bad behaviour. Dealing with a negative person more positively without compromising your happiness and well-being is the best way to go.

Just remember to never respond to negativity. The more you’re away from it, the happier your life will become.

More comeback lists you might like

Be prepared for a difficult person

If you have to deal with a difficult person who gives you a hard time, our bundle Snappy Comebacks any Situation can help you out. Be prepared for challenging people with clever responses on your phone or device any time or anywhere.

What to say when someone PUTS YOU DOWN

Jacob ended a friendship with a guy who constantly put him down

Jacob found himself in a challenging situation as he grappled with a friendship that had turned toxic. Despite his efforts to maintain a positive connection, the constant belittling and negativity from his friend Jon took a toll on his self-esteem and well-being.

After a lot of reflection, Jacob made the difficult decision to end the friendship, recognizing that his emotional health and self-respect were paramount. By setting clear boundaries and distancing himself from Jon’s harmful influence, Jacob took a crucial step towards prioritizing his mental and emotional well-being.

As Jacob navigated the aftermath of the friendship’s end, he experienced a sense of relief and empowerment. Free from the burden of constant negativity, he found himself surrounded by a newfound sense of peace and positivity.

Through this challenging experience of distancing himself from Jon, Jacob learned the importance of recognizing toxic relationships and the value of prioritizing his own emotional health. In taking this courageous step, Jacob embraced the opportunity to cultivate a supportive and uplifting social circle, one that nurtured his growth and well-being.

The Role of counselling and self care

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When you are dealing with someone who puts you down and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home.

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

Don't hang out with people who put you down

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with someone who puts you down? Share them in the comments below.

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  1. Heres how to say i want to throw a brick at your face politely;
    One wishes to acquaint your facial features with a fundamental item used in building walls Repeatedly

    You can thank me later ~Paradox The Time Master

  2. When I started a new job, I was introduced to the person who would be training me. She repeated my name, made an “ugly face”, and then said, very confidently and scornfully:

    “Eewee! How could your mother AND your father give you such a horrible name? Ewweeee!”

    i was struck dumb..did not know what to say. what a horrible put down to the new person in the office , AND from my on the job trainer!!!! I wish I had read this website then.

    PS Her name is Mary

    1. Hi, Lauren is such a beautiful name and Mary, well not so much! If you want to keep working, and I am assuming that you do, it is probably not in your best interest to make a comeback. You might want to say it in your head instead of out loud.

      You could say:

      1)Did you mean to be so rude?

      2)Yeah, Mary is such a beautiful name. Said with sarcasm.

      3)Next time I need an unsolicited and uninformed opinion I will know where to go. – (You will be unemployed after saying this one for sure!)

      4)Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.

      The good news is most people who say dumb ass rude things are equal opportunity, and they say dumb ass things to everyone. I am sure Mary has already offended lots of staff at your new place of employment.

      Here are a few other things you would probably like to say to Mary: https://ishouldhavesaid.net/2014/12/ten-things-customer-service-reps-wish-they-could-say/

      Let me know if you need anything else.


      1. Im not sure if this is offensive but you could say
        ‘At least i aint a virgin like some people’
        Im very sorry if this offends anyone. If it does, i will happily delete it!

    2. Your name is Lauren and someone said it was a horrible name? Geez! I would hate to hear what she would have said if your name was Bertha or something like that. Lauren is a pretty name.

  3. There is this girl named jacqueline and she is such a bitch to me, i really wish i could get help. she always puts me down saying “shut up!” And saying i have no friends and stuff, im really depressed right now. plz help.

    1. I feel you! There’s this girl that wont stop being rude not only to the teacher but people around me. I couldn’t deal with it anymore and told her one of these and she was so upset and her face was amazing. (And if you don’t do a comeback ignore her, not reacting will show her you don’t give a fuq. That’s what I did for a long time and it pissed her off!)

    2. Hi Ryan, Sorry to hear you are having a hard time. She sounds like a miserable unhappy person.

      If she tells you to shut up tell her:

      1)Before you tell me what you think, first you should know I don’t care.
      2) Too bad you can’t photoshop your ugly personality
      3) Remember that time you shut up? Me neither
      4)Oh, I heard you. I just don’t care.
      5)You would be much more likable if it wasn’t for that hole in your mouth that noise comes out of.

      Here are a few comebacks you can use at school

      If she says you have no friends here are a few things you can say:

      If things get worse, make sure you tell some one. An adult you trust or your parent. There is nothing worse that a mean girl.


      1. There’s a group of people that call themselves the *squad* at my school. They always make me feel bad about myself and like I have no friends (I do have friends though) I’ve never been good at comebacks and they take advantage of that.

        1. Hi Maria,

          If you are not the best at comebacks what you can do is have a few ready, and practice saying them. If someone says something to you at school you will automatically respond with something snappy./

          Be careful at school that you say something you can’t get in trouble for. Go through the site and find a few you like. Below are a few school safe comebacks./

          1)Where’s your off button? /
          2)Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything. /
          3)I’ve been called worse by better. /

          If things get worse or they keep picking on you, make sure you tell some one. An adult you trust or your parents./


        2. Just say one that works every time
          “If you have enough time on your hands to come up with that idiotic comeback maybe you should try to focus that time to improve your pathetic excuse for a “squad”!”
          And if not just tell an adult

        3. These are poor excuses for people. They group together to keep from becoming the butt of someone else’s jokes. It’s so pathetic and they will see the err of their ways someday and hopefully it will be a lesson they will never forget. You aren’t very good at comebacks because you are a good person and would not do that to someone. That should make you proud. Adults understand these things and eventually everyone comes to their senses and treat people with respect because if they don’t, they become the butt of everyone’s jokes but they actually deserve it. If you have even one good friend, you should ignore these bitches and future teenage Mothers and do what you do. Time will take care of the Slut Squad.

        4. A politically incorrect comment that you could use to insult their intelligence is: “How’s that extra chromosome treating ya”

    3. just ignore the person the more you say something the more they say something rude. Like me i stood up for myself when i got bullied.

    4. Dude, she’s just a girl man, and no matter how pretty she is now if she is ,she will end up looking like Her Grandma and the sad part is she will have to watch it happen one day at a time. Look at her mother and try to imagine how that could ever make you sad? because that will be what you’d be getting. It sure helps me. I would put her down the next chance you get, like say wow… Bad hair day? she might end up digging you. Woman are used to men falling at their feet, give her the exact oppisite and walk away. At the very least you will at least feel some pride come back. Who wants to be with a girl who don’t like them ? Haters grow on trees.

    5. Just say: I might not have friends but I dont need em to beat ur ass bich.
      And if u dont want to get in a fight just say: I might not have friends but I do have a brain

    6. Here’s some comebacks bro,

      1) Your ass must be pretty jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth

      2) I’m not a protologist but I know an asshole when I see one

      Step up to that’s bitch Ryan!

    1. Hey Dhara, see if any of these work for you.

        1)Oh, I heard you. I just don’t care.
        2) Remember that time you shut up? Me neither.
        3) Oh, I heard you. I just don’t care.
        4) I love the sound you make when you shut up.

      Good luck!


      1. There are these pathetic girls at my school who think of themselves as “popular” (some mean girls 4 or some crap) These girls have attitude and would love to fool around and be so annoying. Especially to me, sometimes. Me, as a person, i am so shy and sensitive. Its so easy to snap at me. I always wanted to stand up for myself but its just the fear that’s bothering me. If you were in my shoes, its not easy. Many other people say “just stand up for yourself” I can’t. Its so hard. Please someone help? I want to really stand up for myself. How do i do it without being sensitive and having fear?

  4. There is this girl kami and she has been putting me down for so long, and her friend keeps spreading rumors about me, and the fact that I have constant migranes and a lot of people in my family ate bipolar it drives me up a mile high wall.

  5. Thanks for the amazing comebacks. I just roasted my sister in front of all her friends, and on Instagram. So thanks for saving me from a huge lump of embarrassment. I really hate being speechless, especially when I’m called a bitch by my sister.

  6. If you say shut up to the person and they say make me then just say “Your mum didn’t but your dad helped”

    1. If they are being racist:

        I don’t judge people by their race, colour, religion or size. I base it on whether or not they’re an asshole.

        You’re the stereotype of someone always complaining about stereotypes.

      If they are insulting your looks:

        Coming from the person who has a face not even a mother could love.

        You’re not exactly an oil painting yourself.

      Good luck!

    1. 1) with friends like you…who needs enemies?
      2)awesome attitude, beautiful heart, amazing brains…sorry, I thought we were listing everything so obvious about me.

    2. Wow! She is calling YOU that! That is a dumb nickname. Listen you are not a big nose milk gag! Here is a comeback that MIGHT help,
      Hey I am not a mirror go find one!
      Give it a try. Remember!!! It MIGHT work! ‘Cause it works for me

  7. This kid at my school keeps saying i’m trash at all sports.. What should I say to him. Plz help!

    1. Do not listen to them! I have a boy in my class that say trash too! And when somebody trips he said you trip’n! I fell you! Do not worry about why the other kids think! Here is some comebacks-
      -Dude, I am not a mirror go find one
      -You would be my friend if less noise comes outta your mouth
      -Boi (Boi means you stupid in case you did not know)
      Hey this might work! MIGHT! ‘Cause it works for me!!
      Good luck 😀

  8. Or say “I dislike you very strongly so much i wish you’d leave me alone forever and go get your life don’t take over mine miss “high and mighty” * hand quotes* *sarcastic voice8

    1. That guy must like u a lot if he is bullying u!
      Maybe u can say this to him

      If I knew ur ego was so high, I’d jump to ur IQ.

  9. Some old friends said I broke a “promise” which I never made and are now trash talking my best friends calling them fake biches, what should I do???

    1. Hi Azka,

      Have you tried talking to them and explaining the situation? If that doesn’t work, sometimes it is just better to move on from certain people in life.:

      Here are a few comebacks you might find useful:


      Good luck,


      1. Hey Bryn, thanks a lot that’ll definautly work with another person who is now the only 1 against me…. me and the others became friends again, that other girl is outta my life she actually moved to Poland the day before yesterday, thx tho

  10. Ok so this girl named Ariana keeps starting false rumors about me, calls me nasty names, and is the popular girl at my school. I try to roast her but her friends and group always bullies the shit out of me and are all super snobby… what should I do?

    1. Hi Mason,

      Please accept my apologies for a slow response. If you are continually being bullied you should tell a trusted adult who can help you.< Start with these comebacks because they are not too aggressive and will let people know to back off and leave you alone. Where’s your off button?
      I wish I could put some people on mute.
      It would be nice if your mouth had a snooze button.

      If she keeps bothering you, try a few comebacks from these posts.



      Good luck,


  11. There’s this girl at school who calls me a bitch and I said, “Thank you. I am a bitch.” (I am one but I don’t show it) But she thought I said, “Your the bitch!” So she said, “You are! Your the-” I disrupted her and said, “I bet u didn’t hear me, I said thank u I am one.” Next thing, she said, “Oh. U call yourself a bitch. U must be sad.” Then I said, “No, I call myself a bitch becuz u made me one!”
    But I didn’t quite get why she been calling me a bitch, but I figured, if she calls me one again, I will say “I’d slap you, but that will be animal abuse, so don’t be tryna crawl up my ass to see things from my point of view.”

    Btw, these comebacks on this site are amazing!

    1. 1)Girl/boy you stalking me? How’d you know I have no life hm?
      2)If you call annoying people a life, then you should to get a new life asap.

      Since I don’t know much about the person bothering you that’s the comebacks I thought of.

  12. Here’s a comeback for, “You have no life.” (1) “Well, I have at least 10x more of a life than you. ” (2) “At least I don’t spend my time trying to put everyone down. You can’t even do that right.” (3) “Who ever asked your opinion?” Try any of those.

  13. Annoying kid: says something about your face
    You: I’m not your mirror, go find one!
    AK: “you find one,” or something like that.
    You: “I don’t need to look at my reflection, I think u do!

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