Great counter comebacks

If you are out and about and someone sends a couple of insults your way, you may be temporarily lost for words. It is always helpful to have a few great counter comebacks tucked away in your mind, so you are ready to battle at any moment.

Comebacks are kind of like verbal warfare, and there is an art form to be able to whip up an awesome, clever response quickly. To deliver an even better insult, you need to possess a quick wit and be pretty damn smart. If you don’t possess those traits, we can help you out.

If you are always picked on for a certain thing like your weight, be prepared with a few comebacks if someone calls you fat. Practice saying the comebacks until they are rolling off your tongue.

If someone slays you with a comeback, here are a few counter comebacks to say as a response.


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Top ten counter comebacks to other people’s comebacks

1. I can eat alphabet soup and spit out a better reply than that.

2. I’ve heard smarter things from a schizophrenic with Tourette’s.

3. Your death with probably be caused by being sarcastic at the wrong time.

4. Quit trying to be a smart ass when you are just an ass.

5. How long did it take you to come up with that one?

6. No. No. I am listening; it just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once.

7. I bet you were up all night trying to come up that one.

8. You’re like a hemorrhoid, a pain the arse who won’t go away.

9. Your village called. They said they lost their idiot.

10. Your comeback was so stupid it didn’t even come back.

Definition of a good counter comeback

A good counter comeback is a clever and fast response to a comment or insult that is intended to deflect or disarm the situation. A counter comeback is used as a way to respond to someone who is trying to wind you up or provoke a response from you.

A brilliant counter comeback should include quick wit, sarcasm or humour that should be appropriate to the situation without resorting to swearing or trash talk.

Some clever people can come up with something quickly, but if you need a little help, our site can provide plenty of great comebacks.


More top ten comeback lists you might like

Chris Rock needed a few good counter comebacks growing up

Chris Rock, Wikipedia

Chris Rock certainly needed to be prepared with a few counter comebacks when he was growing up in Brooklyn.

At age 13, Chris’ mom wanted him to go to a better school outside of their neighborhood. He had to take several buses to get to Brooklyn, Bensonhurst, where he was the old black student a white high school. Most of the students at Chris’ school were of Italian descent.

He suffered verbal taunts and weekly beatings from the others students. Chris needed to use his quick wit to survive in his new school to make friends and ultimately survive the bullying.

Chris developed a lot of quick wit and went on to become one of the top-ranked comedians in America. They have even made a sitcom about his life called Everybody Hates Chris.

When you need clever counter comebacks

10 famous celebrities who are known for quick witted comebacks

Here are ten famous celebrities who are known for their quick-witted comebacks:

Mindy Kaling: The American actress and comedy writer is known for her innovative quick wit that breaks traditional Hollywood humor.

2. Ryan Reynolds: The Canadian actor is known not only for his good looks but also his quick sense of humor. Ryan uses his Instagram account to have a laugh at himself and others.

3. Jimmy Fallon: The American comedian and talk show host has the ability to make hilarious jokes out of thin air and improvise with guests.

4. Chrissy Teigen: The American model and television personality is quick with the comebacks and has used her skill to shut down trolls. She has also been caught bullying young celebrities.

5. Ellen DeGeneres: The American comedian and talk show host is known for her skill at making audiences laugh and her quick with and clever jokes.

6. Conan O’Brien: The American talk show host and comedian uses his quick wit to improvise and crack jokes with guests and his audience.

7. Whoopi Goldberg: The American actress and comedian is known for her sharp tongue and clever response, on many issues.

8. Steve Martin: The beloved American actor and comedian is known for his clever replies and nutty humor.

9. John Cleese: The beloved British actor and comedian is world famous for his dry and clever wit.

10. Betty White: The American actress and comedian was known for her quick wit tell into her senior years.

The Role of counselling and self care

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When you are dealing with someone who sends insults your way and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home.

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

Check out the best ever counter comebacks for jerks

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with counter comebacks? Share them in the comments below.

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  1. I think all of your comebacks are very useful and will be useful in the right situations. I love this website. I think another good comeback to put in this website is, “You bought your life off of Craigslist, that’s why it’s so fake.”

  2. This has been really helpful! I have no seat on the bus and when kids start being about it now I have something!
    How about this: If I wanted someone stupid’s opinion I would go ask Siri or Google.

  3. If someone were to say something like; “Yo, fat ass!” I’d reply with “Yeah, I’m chubby. I can lose weight though. You’re a dumbass though. I don’t think there’s a fix for that.”

  4. When someone makes a joke about you, laughs at it, and then says: “It’s just a joke!” reply with:
    “So is your life but I don’t laugh at it.”

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