How to respond if you are told that you've changed. |

When someone in your life complains that you’ve changed, they are usually mad that you aren’t doing what is convenient for them. Sometimes people use telling you that you’ve changed as a way to manipulate or control you.

If you are making positive changes in your life and evolving as a person, people close to you may not approve of the new fabulous you and complain about it. Don’t worry about the naysayers, you need to get on with it and do what’s best for you.

If you are tired of people making negative remarks, try one of our clever comebacks below.

15 Best comebacks when someone says that you’ve changed

1. I did not change, you just never knew me.

2. I changed? Either that or I just stopped acting the way you wanted me to.

3. I am making some changes in my life right now. If you don’t hear from me, you’re one of them.

4. If you have a problem with me.. it is your problem.

5. Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains.

6. I didn’t change, I just found myself.

7. This is the new improved version of me.

8. Change is a normal part of life. You are not the same person at 17 as you will be at 47.

9. I am grateful for the changes because I didn’t want to stagnate in may life.

10. True, I am not the person I was a few years ago.

11. Thank you, you know the old saying if we are not changing we aren’ growing.

12. And you haven’t? Don’t we all change and grow?

13. I am still the same person I always was. I’ve just grown and moved on to a new stage of my life. I hope that doesn’t upset you.

14. We all change, that’s the game of life.

15. Thank you for noticing. I am trying to level up my life.

Why do people get upset when people change?

People may become upset when some close to them changes because change can be unsettling and disruptive to our sense of familiarity and comfort. When a person in your life changes, it can challenge our expectations and beliefs about the individual, and we may need to adjust our own behaviour and beliefs in response.

When the change is significant or unexpected, it may cause feelings of loss or grief for the way things used to be. Our lives are always changing, and we can learn to adapt and grow alongside the people in our lives as they change and evolve.

If people don’t grow with us, and they remain stuck in their lives, the friendship or relationship may come to a natural end as you outgrow people. Not everyone in your life is coming with you on your journey. It can be challenging to explain to a person who is stuck that you are growing, changing, and evolving as you progress through life. It can be challenging explain growth to a person who refuse change.

Zoe’s friend said that she had changed

Zoe had been working hard to improve her life. She had been taking classes, reading books, and trying to develop new skills. She felt proud of her progress and was excited about the future. However, when she shared her excitement with her friend, her friend responded with a hurtful comment. “You’ve changed,” her friend said, “I don’t even recognize you anymore.”

Zoe was upset by her friend’s reaction. She felt like her hard work and progress had been dismissed and that her friend didn’t understand her goals. However, she realized that her friend’s reaction was a reflection of her own stagnant life. Zoe decided to continue on her path of self-improvement, regardless of what others thought. She knew that her progress was important to her, and that was all that mattered.

How to respond when you are told that you've changed

More comebacks you might like

The Role of counselling and self care

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Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home. 

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with people who tell you that you’ve changed? Share them in the comments below.

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    1. Hi Nhi,

      A few things you could say are:

      1))Sanity is highly over reated

      2)I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.

      Good luck,


  1. What should I say when an anonymous person tells me to change my rude attitude and stop being so nosy. Which im not. The nosy part.

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