Doormats are people who don’t set boundaries with others and allow people to treat them like rubbish. It can be painful to watch others treat someone close to you like a doormat. It could be your girlfriend who lets her boyfriend treat her like crap or your cousin who lets everyone borrow his homework and car.
We all need to learn the ability to stand up to other people and set clear boundaries. When you change your response to how people treat you, they will change their behavior accordingly.
At the end of the day, we teach people how to treat us and what we allow will continue. If we start saying no to certain requests from people, eventually they will stop asking.
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I had one friend who was a total user she would use me to get invited to parties and meet new crew members for the airline we worked for. I let it go on for a couple of months until I realized who she really was. I decided to stop sharing which events I was attending, so she couldn’t invite herself along and I started phasing her out.
She no longer had the opportunity to use me and I didn’t even have to verbally confront her. I didn’t want to waste my energy confronting her because he was not someone I wanted to be friends with.
If you have someone in your life who is behaving like a doormat, say something from the list below to give them a wakeup call to change their behaviour.
What to say to someone acting like a doormat
1. Being a good person does not mean you have to put up with other people’s crap.
2. You can be a good person with a kind spirit and tell people to f*ck off when needed.
3. It’s better to let someone walk away from you than walk all over you.
4. Stop crying about being a doormat and pick yourself up off the floor.
5. If someone isn’t treating you properly it’s time to stop blaming them. You decide your worth.
6. Saying yes to happiness means saying no to people and things that stress you out.
7. You should not have to rip yourself in to pieces to keep others whole.
8. Unless you want to be trodden on, don’t be a doormat.
9. You teach people how to treat you, by what you allow, and what you reinforce.
10. What you allow is what will continue.
definition of being treated like a doormat
When a person is treated like a doormat they are take advantage of by others and mistreated. They don’t argue or set any boundaries , they just accept poor treatment and unfair, rude and disrespectful behaviour.
Being a doormat shows up in a person’s life in many ways, such as being mistreated, manipulated, or disrespected and just accepting the unkind behaviour.
How to deal with being treated like a doormat
If you are being treated like a doormat you need to boundary up and set clear limits with others. Create a standard of how you will accept to be treated, and set limits with people who don’t meet your standards.
Build up your confidence and learn to be assertive with others and refuse to accept disrespectful behaviour from the people in your life.
Get support if you have people in your life who take advantage of you. You deserve to have good people in your life and to be treated respectfully.
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Alia was treated like a door mat by an old friend who took advantage of her
Alia had always been a loyal and supportive friend, and she had never hesitated to help others whenever they needed her. Her old friend, Maya, took advantage of Alia’s kindness and treated her like a doormat.
Maya exploited Alia’s generosity, using her for money and leveraging her career connections without any regard for Alia’s well-being. What had once been a genuine friendship had devolved into a one-sided relationship, leaving Alia feeling used and unappreciated.
Alia was always willing to overlook Maya’s behavior, attributing it to temporary hardships or misunderstandings. As time went on, Maya’s demands on Alia’s resources and connections became increasingly burdensome. A
lia found herself constantly being asked for financial assistance and pressured to use her professional network to benefit Maya’s career, all while receiving little to no gratitude or reciprocation in return. As the weight of Maya’s exploitation took its toll on Alia, she began to question the nature of their friendship.
She struggled with feelings of resentment and betrayal, grappling with the realization that someone she had trusted and cared for was taking advantage of her goodwill. Alia’s once unwavering loyalty began to waver as she confronted the harsh reality of Maya’s manipulative behavior.
Despite her sadness about the situation, Alia found the strength to confront Maya about her actions. The conversation was difficult, filled with tension and raw emotions as Alia expressed her hurt and frustration.
Maya’s response was dismissive, and she attempted to downplay the impact of her actions, further cementing Alia’s realization that their friendship had become toxic and one-sided. After their confrontation, Alia made the difficult decision to distance herself from Maya. It was a painful choice, as it meant letting go of a long-standing friendship, but Alia knew that she deserved better than being used and unappreciated.
As she began to rebuild her life without Maya’s toxic influence, Alia found a renewed sense of empowerment and self-worth, surrounded by friends who valued her for who she was, rather than what she could provide.
Alia had always been a loyal and supportive friend, and she had never hesitated to help others whenever they needed her. However, her old friend, Maya, took advantage of Alia’s kindness and treated her like a doormat.
Maya exploited Alia’s generosity, using her for money and leveraging her career connections without any regard for Alia’s well-being. What had once been a genuine friendship had devolved into a one-sided relationship, leaving Alia feeling used and unappreciated.
Alia was willing to overlook Maya’s behavior, attributing it to temporary hardships or misunderstandings. As time passed, Maya’s demands on Alia’s resources and connections became increasingly burdensome. Alia found herself constantly being asked for financial assistance and pressured to use her professional network to benefit Maya’s career, all while receiving little to no gratitude or reciprocation in return.
As the weight of Maya’s exploitation took its toll on Alia, she began to question the nature of their friendship. She struggled with feelings of resentment and betrayal, grappling with the realization that someone she had trusted and cared for was taking advantage of her goodwill. Alia’s once unwavering loyalty began to waver as she confronted the harsh reality of Maya’s manipulative behavior.
Despite her internal turmoil, Alia found the strength to confront Maya about her actions. The conversation was difficult, filled with tension and raw emotions as Alia expressed her hurt and frustration. Maya’s response was dismissive, and she attempted to downplay the impact of her actions, further cementing Alia’s realization that their friendship had become toxic and one-sided.
After the confrontation and seeing who Maya really was, Alia made the difficult decision to distance herself. It was a really painful choice, as it meant letting go of a long-standing friendship, but Alia knew that she deserved better than being used and unappreciated.
As she began to rebuild her life without Maya’s toxic influence, she found a renewed sense of empowerment and self-worth, surrounded by friends who valued her for who she was, rather than what she could provide.
The Role of counselling and self care
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When you are dealing with a person who acts like a doormat and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.
Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home.
Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.
