Welcome to I Should Have Said where we teach verbal self-defense and how to stand up for yourself the easy way. When you’re done perusing this post, learn how else we can help you here.

What to say to a blamer

Great comebacks for people who blame others for their problems

No matter what the circumstances are, there are always people who blame others whenever anything doesn’t go their way. Blamers are incapable of accepting responsibility for their actions or for being part of the problem. The only thing that they are concerned about is condemning someone else and pointing out what they did wrong.

Blamers truly believe that they have never done anything wrong. They see themselves as the victim in the situation, no matter what the reality is, and it is always someone else’s fault. The problem with blaming things outside of yourself is that things can never get better in your life because you need someone else to change before your situation can improve.

Jasmine blamed her parents for her weight problems. As a child, they let her eat rubbish food. At 29, Jasmine was in control of the food she shoved into her mouth, but she still blamed her parents for her eating problem. She couldn’t solve the problem or shed the 50 pounds she needed to lose.

Jasmine needed to be accountable for her actions and eat less. Blaming her parents would never lead to actual weight loss.

If you get tired of the blaming behavior, here are some clever comebacks you can say to get your message across loud and clear.

WANT TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF WITHOUT BEING A JERK?

Ever feel like you don’t know what to say to challenging people? Grab our FREE starter guide, so you know not only what to say- but how to say it. Discover the secret of shutting down rude people.

If you get tired of the blaming behavior, here are some clever comebacks you can say to get your message across loud and clear.

Top Ten Comebacks for a Blamer

  1. If everywhere you go there’s a problem.. Guess what?
  2. No really, it’s adorable when you blame everyone but yourself.
  3. No one is coming to save you. This life of yours is 100% your responsibility.
  4. Take responsibility for your actions. You only look like a fool when trying to blame other people for your behaviour.
  5. When you blame others you give up your power to grow.
  6. Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains.
  7. If you’re tired of a drama in your life, just quit being the actor.
  8. You give yourself credit for your happiness and accomplishments, yet you have a list of people to blame for your bitterness and failures.
  9. When people point fingers at others they should remember that they have four fingers pointing back at them.
  10. Reap what you sow and own it!
When people blame others and never accept responsibility

WANT TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF WITHOUT BEING A JERK?

Ever feel like you don’t know what to say to challenging people? Grab our FREE starter guide, so you know not only what to say- but how to say it. Discover the secret of shutting down rude people.

More top ten comeback lists you might like

Be prepared next time you have to deal with a blamer

If you have to deal with someone who blames you for everything and who gives you a hard time, our bundle Snappy Comebacks any Situation can help you out. Be prepared for difficult people with clever responses on your phone or device any time or anywhere.

When someone blames everyone around them

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with a blamer? Share them in the comments below.

DO YOU NEED A LITTLE HELP STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF?

Ever feel like you don’t know what to say to challenging people? Grab our FREE starter guide, so you know not only what to say- but how to say it.

If you love this resource, don’t miss our amazing resource Verbal Self Defense Made Easy bundle that will teach you how to effortlessly shut down rude people in record time. Learn how to stand up for yourself in any situation, the easy way.

Get in touch:

I created this site to help people with verbal self-defense and to find the right words in difficult situations… Read more

16 Responses

  1. Blaming other people is great, until you’ve got nobody left around to blame but yourself. I like to say this to lazy nephew who blames the world for his problems.

  2. My friend is always blaming people for her shit. Someone said you play the victim so well, I am surprised you dont’ carry around your own body chalk. She didn’t like that!

  3. LOL: Yeah, its totally realistic to think its everyone else…when your dumb ass is the common denominator in every situation!

  4. I have this person in my school, she is such a minipulative uggghhhh! And she is like after me… She has been for the last 3-4 years. She stole my best friend and made her turn on me just cuz she was jealous of our friendship cuz she wanted it for herself. She also stole 4 other friends of mom and yet again….. Made them turn on me, also they stick up for her the minute she gets blamed for anything…. For e.g. She said to my ex-best friend that I was a bitch and I asked her why she said that and the minute I asked her the 4 girls, the minipulative girl and my ex-best friend was like “WHAT????? YOU LIAR!!! YOUR LYINGGGG!!!! YOUR JUST OUT TO GET US OMFG GO AWAY!!!” And then the minipulative one started fake crying………….. The teacher or out mums CANNOT sort this out what so ever…. Plz help with a comeback extreme for this argument

      1. Hi,

        I really feel for you, there is nothing worse than dealing with a manipulative person. Sometimes these kind of kids fool parents and teachers into thinking they are good kids, when they are really downright nasty.

        She sounds like the kind of person who stirs up trouble and then plays the victim, so you have be careful what you say. I have given you a couple of comebacks below to deflect her because she sounds like she wants you engage and then look like the bad guy who started it. Don’t fall for it. If you deflect her, and don’t engage, she may move on to someone else and leave you alone. These are also comebacks you can use at school and a teacher can’t call you on.

        We have seen this kind of situation before, and the troublemaker is eventually exposed for who they truly are.

        • Breaking news! I don’t care.
        • Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.
        • Congratulations on your ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing.
        • So, let me get this straight, you talk shit about me then you make it into MY problem when I say something.
        • you must get tired of putting makeup on two faces every morning.
        • Where’s your off button?
        • I may not be perfect but at least I’m not you.

        Our top ten lists https://ishouldhavesaid.net/top-ten/ also include a lot of good comebacks.

        Practice saying the comebacks at home so you are ready next time she says something to you.

        Just remember that better times await you and this won’t last forever.

        Bryn

    1. hmm, maybe you should say life is good you should get one, and also say “oh one last thing your new “bff” creates a storm but gets upset when it rains

    2. hey i totally understand this conversation I don’t have a comeback but can understand and hope this conversation gets better.And am sending you luck!

    3. I have the same problem mate. This guy is such a bastard, he acts all polite to the teachers, helping them and asking how their day was. Then he goes and bully’s everyone else, but st the same time impressing th girls and being all ‘charming’. We were learning how to cook piella at schools and oil (just a drop) sprays into his eye. He blames me and starts being really nasty and talks about me behind my back. I call him a disgusting human being, but that’s it. 5 minutes later he asks if we can be friends and I say no. People like that are ruining the world. Good luck, I hope you defeat the bully and have a successful school life.

  5. If someone looks at you and screams “MY EYES IT BURNS” Just say “Oh yeah sorry my skin is so clear you saw your own reflection yeah soz mate

  6. Honestly, the manipulation, need for control, lack of empathy, and everything else you just described about this girl–she sounds like a full blown “Psychopath” who needs a professional behavioral therapist to work with. She’s the kind of person who will turn everyone against you and steal your sunshine instead of being happy for you-that’s not a true friend– those are the symptoms of a point blank psychopath! Danger! It’s not you honey, it’s a reflection of her lower self worth in the world that she has to tear other people down in order to build herself up and feel in control. (I major in behavioral psychology). Hmm, I wonder if her parents are ever there for her? Divorced? Fight all the time? Cheating? Irrational behaviors like that usually reflect the parents.** Figuring people out and holding their feet to the fire by giving them the truth is the best comeback. I’d send this girl a referral to see a psychiatrist.

    1. Hello. I have recently replied to this comment, as I have had the exact same problem. The guy I’m dealing with has been beaten by a parent. Maybe that is why he is like that. I don’t know but he is a disgusting human being.

  7. I understand you. It’s happening to me, too! Some girl in my school turned all my friends against me because I have done this in 5ith grade. It’s not even true! Only one friend stayed with me, and I realised that she was my only true friend, and I prefer her as more than a hundred fake friends – I told her that, and she doesn’t bully me that much anymore.
    I hope you defeat her and understand what true friends are and be happy in life. True friends don’t turn against you just because some other girl said so.

    p.s. pleas don’t maind my bead english I am not from amerika or england so I had to use google translete

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *