What to say when someone asks if you are a stalker

Urban Dictionary defines stalking as “To follow and/or spy on someone you have feelings for. Those feelings need not be of a kind and loving nature. People who stalk are usually obsessed with the stalkee.”

In this modern age, we are all stalkers, most people have looked at a friend’s Instagram post when we haven’t heard from them to see if they have been online in a while. Yep, that’s pretty normal activity in the digital age.

What it isn’t normal is when you find you are consumed with someone and can’t stop thinking about what they’re doing. If you find you are driving by your boyfriend’s house several times a night and hiding out in the bushes, you might want to give your head a shake. Maybe consider if it is worth being with someone you can’t trust who is making you act in a crazy way.

If someone accuses you of being a stalker, whether it is true or not, use one of our clever comebacks to shut the person up.

Best comebacks when someone asks if you are stalking them

1. Stalking is such a strong word. I prefer intense research of an individual.

2. I am not a stalker, I am an unpaid investigator.

3. Yah I am, and it is annoying when the person you are stalking does not update their status regularly.

4. Me? Stalk you? No, thanks. Even I have my standards…


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Why do people stalk others?

People love to throw jokes about stalking, but the reality is, stalking is a serious matter. It is a behavioral pattern that has a significant impact on a person’s life and can get really scary.

While each stalking scenario varies, every single one of them makes a person feel uncomfortable and susceptible to attack. If you’re wondering though why some people creep up on other people, there’s no single answer to that.  

Here are the possible reasons why people go through the lengths of stalking. 

1. Obsession 

Obsession happens the moment a person acts in an unwanted way that the other person feels disturbing.

Stalkers become so fixated on their victims and have this urge to follow them around and monitor their activities constantly. Their minds are fueled with persistent thoughts and impulses that they are unable to control. 

2. Control 

Stalkers typically have an intense desire to control their victim’s life. From their actions to their emotions, they want to have some sort of connection with them.

It doesn’t really matter what the victims think — stalkers want to exert power through control.

3. Revenge

Whatever the reason for stalking is, they’re all scary. But even more so, if you’re dealing with a vengeful stalker.

Some people engage in stalking because of perceived injustice and thus stalkers seek to even the score with their victims. They think their behavior is a means of fighting back against being oppressed.

4. Mental illness 

Most stalkers are psychologically unstable. They might have undiagnosed personality disorders or delusional disorders that trigger a fatal obsession.

But even if they are aware of it, people suffering from underlying mental issues have little to no control of their actions.

5. Intimacy 

In most cases, stalkers are intimacy-seeking people who want to be in a relationship with their victims. You can find this commonly happening among celebrity snoopers. 

Stalkers have crazy delusions that they are in a passionate relationship with their victims, when in fact, it’s nonexistent. 

It doesn’t really matter what the reason is for stalking, because stalking is never okay. It is not a joke nor is it romantic — it is a serious crime with severe implications for the perpetrators, and most especially for the victims.

So, if you know someone who’s being stalked, it is important to safeguard their mental health and seek counseling. Also, don’t hesitate to reach out to law enforcement when stalking leaves the feeling of being fearful or unsafe. 

How to deal with being accused of stalking

You might feel it’s just friendly close range watching when in fact it’s definitely stalking.

Being accused of stalking is not a laughing matter — you can go to jail. Thus, it is necessary to take these accusations seriously.

Here are some steps on how to respond appropriately when someone accuses you of being stalkerish.

1. Stay calm and respectful

The most important thing is to stay calm and not react emotionally. Take a deep breath and read the situation.

We understand how frustrating it is to be falsely accused of stalking, but being defensive and confrontational about it will only make the situation worse.

2. Listen to the accuser 

Do you know that active listening diffuses tension?  It makes you understand the situation better, from the point of view of the person you’re talking to.  

So, follow intently on what your accuser says and ask questions when necessary. This is how you try to put clarity on where these accusations are coming from — by listening.

3. Take the accusation seriously 

Again, stalking is a crime. Therefore, when someone accuses you of being a stalker, you should take it seriously.

Remember, accusations can ruin a reputation, even a false one. So, please don’t try to downplay its significance. It might not affect you now but the strong impact on your mental health will slowly surface in the long run.

4. Gather evidence 

By presenting evidence, you’re proving your innocence. It will be the proof that the action did not transpire or it is not how it was presented.

You can gather facts and information through emails, text messages or any other forms of communication that can prove that you did not engage in any stalking behavior at all.

5. Seek legal advice 

If the accusation you’re facing is becoming serious to the point of legal charges, it’s time to seek legal advice from an attorney who specializes in stalking cases.

6. Avoid contact with the accuser

If your accuser wants you to keep your distance from them, it’s wise to respect their wishes, so as to not complicate things even more.

Regardless if you’re being civil about it, contacting your accuser can make them feel threatened and uncomfortable. It also gives the impression that you’re trying to harass and intimidate them, even if that’s not the case.

Funny stalker meme

More comebacks you might like

The Role of counselling and self care

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Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home. 

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with people who call you a stalker? Share them in the comments below.

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  1. I never meant for things for go so wrong. I’m sorry for the distress. I’m hoping you can forgive me so we can be okay again

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