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Snappy comebacks when people ask what’s up

Clever replies to what's up

What’s up is a casual greeting which has seemed to replace, “hello or hi, how ya going?”  When someone asks what’s up they want to know if there’s anything new or exciting going on with you.

When people ask what’s up they aren’t really looking to hear about all your problems and the nitty gritty details of your life. A lot of folks won’t really give a toss how you respond.

Of course, your good friends will want to know all the juicy details of what’s going on with you, why your girlfriend dumped you for another girl, how someone shared nude photos of you on Snap Chat and all of the other exciting things going on in your life.

If you want to give a clever response to what’s up but you don’t want to actually give away any of the gritty details of what is actually going on with you, try using one of the comebacks below.

Vote for the best comeback to what’s up

My blood pressure and my body mass index!
My panties, and they're staying that way!
My IQ.
Your time--I'm outa here!

More comebacks you might like


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31 Responses

  1. Say “your weight, and I’m pretty sure it ain’t going down anytime soon” that should really piss them off

  2. When someone asks me a basic question, such as “What’s up?”, sometimes it’s even better when it implies a `required` yes or no answer, I enjoy giving a vague answer, such as “More or less.” It responds to the question without actually answering it.

    “Is it raining outside?” – “More or less.”

    “What time is it?” – “More or less.”

    “Dude, I haven’t seen you in a while, how’ve ya been?” – “More or less.”

  3. The sky….but tell no one keeps people asking questions.
    My blood pressure.
    Gas prices
    The chances of storms
    The probability that Trump is going to fire some one in the white house.
    The DOW.
    Definitely not the GDP…
    Are some of the one liners I’ve used.

  4. I honestly feel like everyone is using this for texts because of old covid ^0^ I have some “fake friends” and honestly I would rather use these than try to talk to them myself (aka text them)

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