How to respond when you are asked why you're a virgin

It can be awkward when someone goes on about being a virgin and wants to why you still haven’t had sex yet. We get that nobody wants to be notorious for being a 30-year-old virgin but it is probably better to wait until you find the right person instead of rushing and doing something you’ll regret.

You might feel awkward being the only virgin in your group of friends but it can be even more awkward if you sleep with someone and things go sideways. I used to work as a flight attendant for an international airline and you could always tell if crew members had hooked up the night before. There would be an awkward silence between the people who had a fling and they would usually ignore each other during the rest of the trip. It was always kind of interesting to see how things played out.

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin, wait until you’re ready. In the meantime, use one of our snappy comebacks below the next time someone asks you a nosy question.


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10 Best comebacks when someone asks why you have not had sex

1. I’m not ready yet, I’m not gonna do something I’ll regret.

2. No means no, I’m not a hoe, now let it go.

3. There’s no use trying to rush fate, because the best things in life are worth the wait.

4. Quit being a pest, it’s not gonna make me say yes.

5. I’m holding out for a love story worthy of a rom-com.

6. It’s not something I feel pressured to do just to fit in.

7. It’s a personal choice and I’m comfortable with it.

8. I am not going to have sex because your friend thinks we should.

9. I’ll do it when the time is right for me, not for your friends!

10. I would never give you the pleasure of doing something because your friend want me to. Nice try though.

What to say when someone wants to know why you're a virgin

More Sex Related comebacks you might like

Why is there peer pressure around having sex?

For young people, there is peer pressure around having sex in certain cultures. Teenagers may be pressured by their friends to engage in sexual activity to fit in with their peers and be socially accepted. Doing something that a person is not ready for emotionally ready or mature enough, can lead to regret.

Talia regretted a choice she made because of peer pressure

Talia had always been a strong-willed teenager, confident in her choices and unafraid to stand up for what she believed in. She found herself succumbing to peer pressure and making a decision that would haunt her for a long time.

It all started at a party with her friends, where the atmosphere was charged with excitement and the pressure to fit in was palpable. Talia’s boyfriend had been pressuring her to have sex for a couple of months but she had said no several times.

At the party Talia’s friends offered her an alcoholic drink, she hesitated, knowing that she didn’t want to, but the persistent urging of her friends eventually led her to give in.

As the night wore on, Talia felt the effects of the alcohol and soon found herself in a bedroom at the party with her boyfriend. Before she knew it, she was no longer a virgin, and she was shocked at what had taken place and already deeply regretted what happened.

In a moment of vulnerability and under the influence of alcohol, she made choices that compromised her values and left her feeling ashamed and disappointed in herself. The weight of her actions hung heavy on her conscience, and she couldn’t shake the feeling of regret that gnawed at her from within.

In the days that followed, Talia struggled to come to terms with her lapse in judgment. She knew that she was accountable for her choices, and if she hadn’t been tipsy from the alcohol she wouldn’t have ended up in the bedroom.

Talia realized that staying true to herself was far more important than seeking validation from her peers. Though the memory of her regrettable choice lingered, it served as a powerful reminder of the importance of staying true to her values, no matter the pressure to conform.

The Role of counselling and self care

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When you are dealing with a person who says my friends think we should have had sex by now and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home. 

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.


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  1. “I didn’t know you liked your friends in that way but if you want to have sex with them go ahead because I ain’t doing it with you”

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