What to say to someone who is gossiping about you.

Do you have a friend who gossips about you or other people? It can be beyond hurtful to find out that someone that you thought was a good friend is talking about you behind your back. Be careful who you trust. If someone talks about others with you, they will certainly talk about you with others.

We have all been taught we shouldn’t talk about people behind their backs, but some people can’t help themselves and constantly talk negatively about others.

Jared was friends with a girl in high school. He had been warned that Clarissa was a gossip, but he thought she seemed nice. He found out during the summer that she had been spreading rumours that he was gay even though he had never told her such a thing and liked girls. Jared realized he could not be friends with such a toxic person and distanced himself from her. He was still in a tennis club with Clarissa, so he couldn’t avoid her completely. He heard from coaches and others that she had been saying horrible and shocking things about him that weren’t true. The funny thing is that in time, people found out who she really was and nobody liked her. She kept repeating the same pattern.

If you get tired of being contaminated by the gossip’s poison and want them to stop, here are a few things you can say to let the gossip know that you don’t want any part of it.

Top ten comebacks for a gossip

1. If you have a problem with me, tell me a problem with me, tell me, not everyone else.

2. If it’s not your story to tell, don’t tell it.

3. I never judge someone by the opinion of another.

4. If you didn’t hear it with your own ears, or see it with your own eyes. Don’t invent it and share it with your big mouth!

5. Rumours, I found out so much about myself I didn’t even know.

6. If it doesn’t involve you it shouldn’t concern you.

7. If it’s not your story to tell, don’t tell it.

8. I never judge someone by the opinion of another.

9. Rumours, I found out so much about myself I didn’t even know.

10. If it doesn’t involve you it shouldn’t concern you.

What to say when people gossip about you

Definition of a gossip

A gossip is someone who loves idle talk. You know, the one who eagerly spreads false information, usually personal, about other people’s business without giving it a second thought.

From intimate details about relationships and money to power, gossip can be any malicious scoop. And oh boy, do they spread fast — verbally, social media and all other forms of communication ever known to mankind.

These tittle-tattles are hurtful and damaging. Not just for the person being talked about, but also for the one circulating the rumors. It can result in misunderstandings that will eventually damage relationships.

One must know the profound impact of gossip, so you can avoid getting caught up in the whirlwind of deadly rumours.

Perez Hilton started his career being a gossip

Perez Hilton, By Paparazzo Presents – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, 

Perez Hilton is a notorious gossip, he created the infamous Hollywood gossip blog PerezHilton.com. He started blogging in 2005 and he is now reportedly worth be $30 million.


Perez is openly gay, on his blog he tries to out celebrities who are secretly gay. Hilton has been criticized for exposing things that people are not ready to share publicly. Perez responded to the criticism by saying to Access Hollywood:

“It upsets me that people think what I’m doing is a bad thing”, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. If you know something to be a fact, why not report it? Why is that still taboo?

I guess Perez has no trouble sleeping at night.


More comebacks you might like

How to deal with a gossip

Getting a gossip to stop is a hard feat, but try, you must.

Here’s how you can act accordingly whenever a gossip is around.

  1.     Don’t engage

The best way to deal with a gossip is to never rouse their unlikely behavior. If someone starts to gossip with you, you can tell them you’re not interested. Or you can amicably change the course of the conversation towards something healthier.

  1.     Set clear boundaries with a gossip 

If someone still tries to force gossiping about others into the conversation despite your efforts, you can set clear boundaries with them. 

Be bold and upfront, tell them you don’t want to talk about other people’s lives and you won’t partake in negative chatters.

  1.     Be honest

You can always take the polite route in dealing with a gossip by having a personal talk with them. You can be honest about your feelings and how it’s affecting you and others as well.

A gossip will try to deny their actions, so don’t lose your cool and be calm about it. There’s always gonna be another time.

  1.     Surround yourself with positive people

No question, gossip is toxic. To remedy that, you need to be surrounded by positive people who can make your life more cheerful. They can be that support system, pulling you out of the darkness and encouraging you to engage in more fruitful things.

  1.     Lead by example

If you want to encourage positive behaviour, you need to step into the role and lead by example. So, don’t engage in gossip, instead, concentrate on positive conversations.

The toxicity of gossip spreads like wildfire — it’s hard to deal with. To not be consumed by that burning negativity, you can choose you.

Amidst all the empty talk, your happiness and well-being should be your priorities. So, if necessary, completely disconnect with the harbingers of gossip.

Famous people who have been called out for gossiping

As we said, gossip is all around us. The only trend that doesn’t get old.

Here are some famous people who enjoy gossip, night and day.

  1.     Perez Hilton

Perez is an American celebrity blogger who loves to stir controversy among everyone who’s anyone in Tinseltown.  That’s why it’s no wonder that this guy receives a lot of hate from so many celebrities.

  1.     Wendy Williams

Wendy Williams is a talk-show personality with a no-nonsense attitude. Her brash talk and controversial comments have been called out so many times. But getting this lady to stop, is waiting for the rain to dry.

  1.     Lindsay Lohan

Unlike the other two, Lindsay Lohan is an American actress. But if you think that would’ve stopped her from spreading rumours about her fellow celebrities, you’re dead wrong.

The “Freaky Friday” star has been widely accused of being a gossiper. She’s received countless outcries from her former friends for babbling way too much.

  1.     Gwyneth Paltrow

 Yes, even Ironman’s leading lady Gwyneth Paltrow is accused of being a meddler by former friends. Though it’s all in the past now, Paltrow’s idle talk still managed to burn bridges.

  1.     Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian often headlines gossip pages. However, she’s also been charged with promulgating some of them towards other fellow celebrities. In fact, she’s been called out several times for it — sorry not sorry.


Nothing good ever comes out of gossiping. It’s destructive and unhealthy for everyone involved.

Yes, it’s entertaining to watch celebrities poke fun at one another and gossip. But it’s never worth our mental health or our precious times, so we should all steer clear of it.

The Role of counselling and self care

I Should Have Said Media may earn a commission after clicking links on this page at no additional cost to you. Learn more.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home. 

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing for dealing with gossips? Share them in the comments below.

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  1. (guy talks bad about my best friend)
    Me: you know why you have been wearing the same coat for 5 years straight?
    Guy: why?
    Me: cause the more you gossip the less you grow

  2. If you spent have as much time concerned about your life as you do go
    gossiping about mine, your existence might be slightly less miserable.

  3. People always used to say “It doesn’t concern you, Nikki” when I would try to join a conversation. I transferred schools a few years later. I’ve been spending the past 5 years planning how I’m gonna burn them in return. I’m thinking something like “Thanks for ruining my life. I’m glad to say I’m no longer part of yours.”

  4. One of my favourites still is still the one for new year
    “Remember all the stuff about me that annoyed you last year? Well…buckle up buttercup….this years not going to be much better”

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