You may have been out having a late night with your friends and you are feeling fantastic until you get the text, “Where were you?”
Unless you are in a seriously committed relationship you are under no obligation to share where you are every minute of the day with a nosy person. It’s nobody’s business, and even in a healthy relationship, we all need to maintain our own sense of identity and spend time alone with our close friends.
If you have an ultra-jealous partner who wants to know where you are at all times, they may feel threatened that you’re spending time with people without including them. People approach things from their own place of insecurity, some partners feel the need to be the most important thing in their significant others’ lives.
If you get tired of someone overreacting because you haven’t checked in and they don’t know where you are, use one of our clever comebacks.
Best comebacks when someone wants to know where you have been
1. My business isn’t your business. Unless you’re my thong, don’t be up my ass.
2. Next time put my photo on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. Then your friends will know where to look for me.
3. If you looking for your nose, it is in my business again!
4. I was in bed, but not my own.
5. I was out looking for you, of course!
6. I’ve been here, there and everywhere.
7. If I wanted you to know, I would have told you.
8. Looking for thong undies for you.
9. I was out and about hanging out, doing whatever took my fancy.
Why do people ask where were you?
People may ask “where were you?” for many different reasons. Often it comes from a place of concern for your well being. Other times it’s simply a way of expressing concern or interest in someone’s whereabouts. It can also be a way of checking up on a person or trying to keep tabs on their movements. In some cases, it may be a sign of possessiveness or control, where someone feels entitled to know where you are and what you’re doing at all times.
We need to remember that we all have different boundaries and expectations around privacy and communication. If a person wants to know where you were and it makes you uncomfortable, it’s okay to communicate your boundaries and let them know how you feel.
At the same time, it’s important to be respectful of other people’s concerns for your safety and need for basic communication, you can find a balance that works for both of you.
More clever comebacks you might like
- What to say when someone says their mad at you
- Clever replies when someone asks if they will see you again
- Top ten comebacks for nosy people
How to deal with people asking where were you
When people ask where you were, you probably want to respond it a direct and honest way. You have no obligation to provide the excessive details but you can give an overview of where you were.
If you feel the question is an invasion of your privacy, try and deflect by saying you had a previous commitment and were busy. It is OK to maintain appropriate boundaries with people in your life and you have no obligation to share every detail of your life with people who are not close to you.
Claire had to respond to where were you
Claire had been feeling overwhelmed and needed some space from her friend. She had been trying to distance herself and spend more time alone to recharge. However, when her friend called and asked, “Where were you? I haven’t heard from you in days,” Claire felt frustrated and upset. She didn’t want to be constantly monitored or have to explain her every move.
Claire realized that she needed to have a conversation with her friend about boundaries and the importance of respecting each other’s space. She explained that while she valued their friendship, she also needed time alone to take care of herself. Her friend was understanding and agreed to give her more space. From then on, they were able to maintain a healthy balance in their friendship, with both respecting each other’s need for space and connection
The Role of counselling and self care
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When you are dealing with someone who asks where you were and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.
Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home.
Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.