What to say when someone stands you up

When someone stands you up, it says so much more about them than it does about you. It basically tells you that the individual has very little respect for other people, by thinking that it is OK to treat people that way.

Jackson went to university with a guy called Kyle, who loved to stir up trouble, and sought attention without earning it.

Kyle was the kind of person who often had bad intent, and would cause drama in group chat, often personally against Jackson, who brushed it off. Because of this sly bullying behaviour, Jackson never really liked Kyle, but time had moved on and they hadn’t seen each other for a couple of years.


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Years later, Jackson received a text from Kyle asking him to meet up because he wanted to discuss something with him. Jackson waited a day or so before responding and agreeing because truth be told, he really didn’t want to see Kyle, as he was so busy with school and his part-time job.

Out of kindness, he decided that he would go, thinking maybe Kyle had changed as a person. Truly, his old classmate couldn’t be worse than who he used to be, Jackson thought. They arranged to meet at a food court. Jackson brought a friend with him, so that if Kyle caused any trouble or “got-you pranks”, he would have an observer there.

Kyle was a no show that day, he stood Jackson up, with no communication, wasting Jackson’s time and flaming any revitalizing of the relationship. Kyle showed he hadn’t changed, in fact, he was still the same insignificant person that he had always been.

If someone stands you up without a valid reason or attempt to communicate and apologize, don’t waste another minute of your precious life on that person. They are not worth thinking about for even a moment of your precious time.

If the person contacts you after standing you up or being no show, here are a few things you can say to let them know they are irrelevant.

11 Best comebacks for someone who stands you up

1. I never let someone waste my time twice.

2. I don’t hold a grudge, you just made yourself irrelevant.

3. When people show me who they are, I believe them.

4. Not everybody deserves a second chance.

5. I hope there’s a good reason for not being able to make it today.

6. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.

7. I think we got our wires crossed. Sorry we didn’t get together. I was really looking forward to meeting you.”

8. I really enjoyed waiting for you alone at a coffee shop today.

8. I noticed you weren’t able to make it today. I hope everything is okay on your end.

9. I understand that things come up. Let’s reschedule when you have the time.

10. I missed seeing you today. I hope you are alright.

11. I don’t have time to waste on people who don’t appreciate my worth.

why do people stand people up?

Some folks may stand others up for several different reasons, including an emergency, forgetfulness or plain selfishness and disgregard for other people’s feelings.

Forgetfulness or scheduling conflicts can lead to unintentional instances of being stood up, while lack of consideration for the impact of their actions or a lack of interest in getting to know someone can result in deliberate standing up.

In some instances, personal issues may contribute to someone standing another person up. Approach the situation with understanding, but set some boundaries so the person doesn’t think they can stand you up repeatedly.

how to deal with being stood up

Being stood up can be a hurtful and a disappointing experience, but there are constructive ways to manage the situation. It’s important to take a moment to acknowledge and process any emotions that arise, such as humiliation or frustration.

After you have calmed down, thing about reaching out to the person who stood you up to express how their actions made you feel and to seek an explanation, if appropriate. If the situation repeats or the person fails to provide a reasonable explanation, it may be necessary to reassess the relationship or the circumstances that led to being stood up.

Try to remember that being stood up is not a reflection of your personal self worth, you are important and you matter. There are many people who would probably love to hang out with you.

When a jerk stand you up they don't value you as a person

More comebacks you might like

The Role of counselling and self care

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When you are dealing with a person who stood you up and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home. 

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

Actions prove who someone really is words mean nothing

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with someone who stood you up? Share them in the comments below.

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