Victims never accept responsibility for their own actions even when they were the person who started the drama and continued to stir the pot. They refuse to believe that their behaviour is contributing to the negative results that they are getting in their life.
Being close to a victim can be emotionally draining. They gravitate towards people who are nurturing and who will listen like a therapist and be their personal cheerleader.
Bad stuff happens to all of us. You may have had a parent die, been a victim of a crime, or have been laid off, which are all out of your control. You are not responsible for the situation. All you can control is how you respond to the event.
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What to say to someone who always claims to be the victim
- If everywhere you go there’s a problem, guess what?
- Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains.
- Some people try to make other people feel responsible for the way they feel.
- When you don’t accept responsibility for your actions your life can’t change.
- It is always easy to blame others, it is much more productive to figure out how you ended up in this situation.
- Blaming others takes energy away from improving yourself.
- You can stop playing the victim now, everyone bought it.
- You play the victim so well you should carry around your own body chalk.
- I think it is funny how you are still playing the victim and blaming others for things not going your way. When it’s your bad choices that got you where you are. Grow up!
- You can only play the victim card so many times before people figure out that you’re the problem.
We have a choice to play the victim or stand up and face our challenges
Most people in Liz Murray’s circumstances would have played the victim card, both her parents were heroin addicts. Growing up in poverty in New York City, she had to steal food to eat, she was constantly dirty and had head lice. The kids at school bullied her relentlessly, as a result, she started skipping classes and then dropped out of school altogether. To top it all off, when she was 15, her mother passed away from AIDS. Liz’s father couldn’t pay the rent and Liz became homeless and lived on trains. One day she made the decision to turn her life around and completed 4 years of high school in 2 years. Liz then went on to win a scholarship to Harvard University and went from homeless to Harvard. We all have circumstances in our life that suck, we also have a choice how we deal with things.
Next time someone acts like a victim, use one of our great comebacks and let the person know they can’t play you.