Check out what to say to someone who PLAY THE VICTIM

We’ve all met the person who plays the victim. They love to waffle on about their woes and how they’ve been mistreated by the world.

Victims never accept responsibility for their own actions even when they were the person who started the drama and continued to stir the pot. They refuse to believe that their behaviour is contributing to the negative results that they are getting in their life.

Being close to a victim can be emotionally draining. They gravitate towards people who are nurturing and who will listen like a therapist and be their personal cheerleader.

Bad stuff happens to all of us. You may have had a parent die, been in an accident or have been laid off, which are all out of your control. You are not responsible for the situation. All you can control is how you respond to the event.


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What to say to someone who always claims to be the victim

1. If everywhere you go there’s a problem, guess what?

2. Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains.

3. Some people try to make other people feel responsible for the way they feel.

4. When you don’t accept responsibility for your actions your life can’t change.

5. It is always easy to blame others, it is much more productive to figure out how you ended up in this situation.

6. Blaming others takes energy away from improving yourself.

7. You can stop playing the victim now, everyone bought it.

8. You play the victim so well you should carry around your own body chalk.

9. I think it is funny how you are still playing the victim and blaming others for things not going your way. When it’s your bad choices that got you where you are. Grow up!

10. You can only play the victim card so many times before people figure out that you’re the problem.

Definition of someone who plays the victim

Someone who plays the victim is a person who continuously portrays themselves as a victim of circumstances of other people’s beahviour or actions. They often claim that they have been treated poorly by others, even when they are not actually being victimized.

These folks can use their victimhood as a way to get attention or sympathy from the people in their life. It is a great excuse to avoid accepting respsonsibiity for their own actions.

This behaviour can be manipulative and cause friends and family to feel resentful towards them.

We can all choose not to be a victim of our circumstance

We can all choose not to be a victim of our circumstance

Humans are different than other species in that we have a choice, the power to control our reactions and attitudes towards our circumstances. While we can’t always control over what happens to us, we can choose how we respond to it. If we take responsibility for our thoughts and actions, we can avoid falling into the victim mentality and instead focus on solutions and growth.

Yes, that’s right. Our mindset and our attitude play a crucial role in how we navigate through life’s challenges. By taking on a growth mindset, we can view obstacles as opportunities to learn and improve ourselves, instead of feeling helpless and defeated when life knocks us down.

As adult’s important to take ownership of our thoughts, actions and behaviours, and not let external circumstances dictate our lives, even though it may feel easier to blame others for our results.

By focusing on what you can control and taking proactive steps towards your goals, we can create a better future for ourselves.

What to say to a person who plays the victim

We have a choice to play the victim or stand up and face our challenges

Liz Murray never plays the  victim
File source:

Most people in Liz Murray’s circumstances would have played the victim card, both her parents were heroin addicts. Growing up in poverty in New York City, she had to steal food to eat, she was constantly dirty and had head lice. The kids at school bullied her relentlessly, as a result, she started skipping classes and then dropped out of school altogether. To top it all off, when she was 15, her mother passed away from AIDS. Liz’s father couldn’t pay the rent and Liz became homeless and lived on trains.

One day she made the decision to turn her life around and completed 4 years of high school in 2 years. Liz then went on to win a scholarship to Harvard University and went from homeless to Harvard. We all have circumstances in our life that suck, we also have a choice how we deal with things.

More comebacks you might like

Famous people who have been accused of playing the victim

It’s not really fair to label someone as “playing the victim” because we don’t really know what goes on behind closed doors. Several celebrities famous have been accused of playing the victim in the media.

1. Taylor Swift: Taylor Swift has been criticized for portraying herself as the victim in many of her songs. Some people think that she uses her breakups to her advantage, and creates conflicts with other celebrities to gain sympathy and sell records. It seems to be working!

2. Johnny Depp: Johnny Depp was accused of playing the victim during legal battles with his ex-wife, Amber Heard. Many people feel that he is trying to paint himself as a victim of domestic abuse in order to salvage his career and reputation. Amber also portrayed herself as the victim in the situation in the courtroom.

3. Lindsay Lohan: Lindsay Lohan used to have tumultuous career and personal life, and has often portrayed herself as a victim of the media and Hollywood. However, some people feel that she has brought many of her problems on herself through her own actions when she was younger. She has since grown up, moved to Dubai and had a child.

4. Kanye West: Kanye West has been known to play the victim in his many public feuds with other well known people in the media. He has often complained about being misunderstood and unfairly treated, although a lot of people think that he brings a lot of the drama on himself through his own controversial behaviour.

Again, it’s important to remember that these are just examples and that it’s not always fair to label someone as “playing the victim” without knowing all the details of their situation.

The Role of counselling and self care

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When you are dealing with someone who always plays the victim and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home.

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

You can't win with someone who plays the victim

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with someone who acts like a victim? Share them in the comments below.

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  1. This describes my sister to a tee! She always wants/demands/paying for praise she does for her family. She divides and conquers and you face the wrath of God if you disagree. She has actively turned all her family against mum and I and will not be told otherwise. She creates her own little network of convincing others to believe in what she says.

    If you are of use to my sister and agree with her terms and conditions,she will move Heaven and Earth for you, but Heaven help you if you should challenge these and or you serve no purpose any longer.You are thrown to the wolves. She accepts praise readily, criticism? No chance .

    She was raised exactly the same as I, only differences being, she has destroyed at least two compatible relationships , the latter one being via a shotgun wedding. Conscience does not appear in her vocabulary

    1. I don’t care for the replies to ppl who play the victim. Why would you say sarcastic comebacks when you can just not react. I have not walked in someone else’s shoes so who am I to judge!

      Also listing famous victims, you left out the biggest victim player. Donald Trump certainly surpasses Taylor Swift!

  2. Somebody loves with the same sister who has the same rules. Vindictive, manipulative, and malicious those are the words I use to describe my sister, and everyone believes poor Diana and whatever mommies Princess wants she gets even if it’sa lie. Good Forbes anyone else get a compliment or have anyone’s attention then it’s all poor poor here and I’m the one who did this to her I ruined everything so I would be made to go home from the family affair never a sorry never any remorse.

  3. This fits my daughter to a tee!!!
    Everything is always someone else’s fault, and most of what we do for her is just not enough. She was bullied in high school, and cannot move on, always looking to start a fight with us.

  4. I do not like throwing out negative comments back either. Try sharing more positive to the point thought’s that might make them realize they need to think about what they did or have done, or should do to be the bigger person?

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