great comebacks if you are asked if you are a boy or girl

Ask Bryn

Bryn Connor

Hi Bryn!?? I recently cut my hair (it used to be really long) into a pixie cut. I thought it looked pretty cute but apparently, I look like a boy now because of my short hair (I am definitely a girl). A lot of people think so and call me a boy. Some people are just plain rude about it but others are genuinely confused, but either way I end up awkwardly standing there as my parent explains that I just have short hair. Every time this happens I wish I had something to say back, a badass response for the rude people and a subtle way to correct the confused people… any ideas?

Bryn Answers: When people want to know about your gender

Hi Short haired girl,

You are the third girl in a week who emails asking what to say when people get your gender wrong. Yup, girls certainly don’t appreciate being mistaken for a boy.

Most of the time people don’t mean to be insulting when they assume that a person is the incorrect gender. We are socialized with stereotypes from a young age, boys have short hair and girls have long hair and like to wear pink.


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People in customer service roles usually don’t have time to look closely at the person they are helping, they are too busy trying to do their job and get through the day. When someone finds out that they find out they’ve insulted you and called you the wrong gender they are usually horrified, and in some cases afraid they may get in trouble at work.

Whatever the case, here are a few things that you can say next time someone gets your gender mixed up.

Wishing you all good things.


Best comebacks when someone wants to know if you are a boy or girl

1. Just because I have short hair does not mean I am a boy.

2. I think you need an eye exam.

3. I’m a girl. Is there a reason you need to know?

4. Depends. Which answer will get you to leave faster?

Comebacks when someone gets your gender wrong

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When you are dealing with someone asks if you are a boy or a girl and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home. 

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with someone asks if you are a boy or a girl? Share them in the comments below.

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One Comment

  1. This was good for me too! I don’t have short hair, but I look more like my dad and wouldn’t wear a dress to save my life, so I’d be considered as less “girly”. Even when I was little in school some people called me “Ethan” (My name is Eden) which I didn’t appreciate, but also didn’t really mind, since it was mostly just little kids and they all had lisps. But this was this great for me to correct the people who are confused.

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