How to tell a person you DON'T WANT TO SEE THEM AGAIN

When you’re single you might have to go on a lot of dates before you find your eventual match. There are going to be a lot of potential dates out there who just aren’t going to to be a fit for you and you will need to let them down gently.

You could take a coward’s approach and go ghost on everyone that you’re just not into, however, the braver option would be to let the person know that even though they are not a match for you, they are still pretty awesome and have a lot to offer someone else.

One of my friends would always go on these horrible dates and tell me funny stories about the different guys she dated. Some of them were total losers, some were nice and some just were not a good match.


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Sasha decided that she would treat every guy respectfully, even if she wasn’t into him. She eventually met a wonderful guy who she married and settled down with. It turned out that she had actually gone on a date with one of her husband’s friends before she met her husband in their small town. The guy actually told her husband what a nice girl she was.

It is never a bad thing to treat someone with kindness and let them down gently. Here are a few things that you can say to someone if you don’t want to go out with them again.

11 Best comebacks to let someone know that you’re not into them

1. I think you are a really lovely person, but I just did not feel that connection between us. I wish you the best of luck in your search.

2. I think you’re just great, but I’m not sure we’re a match.

3. I am sure you will make some girls/guys very happy.

4. You are nice, kind, smart, and not my type.

5. You are amazing but I am not feeling a romantic spark.

6. You seem very kind hearted but I don’t we are a great match.

7. I think we have very different goals an I wish you all the best.

9. I don’t want to lead you on, but I don’t think we’re suited.

10. Because I respect you so much, I need want to be clear with you and let you know that I don’t see us as anything more than friends.

11. I am not pursuing a romantic relationship at this point in my life. Although someone is going to be very lucky to have you.

Definition of not my type

Not my type is a phrase that people use to say they are not interested in another person romantically. It is a polite thing to say to let someone down gently without insulting anything about the other person.

It could mean you are not physically attracted to the person, you don’t have mental affinity or she the same interests. It is a way of saying that you don’t feel a romantic spark without being unkind.

How to deal with telling someone they are not your type

When letting someone they are not your type, remember to be empathetic when you let them down gently. Here are some things to consider:

1. Choose the right place to break the news: Find a place where you feel comfortable and safe that you can have a private conversation.

2. Be truthful but kind: Avoid being overly critical or hurtful. Let the person know how you feel in a direct but kind way. Refrain from pointing out anything negative about the person.

3. Use “I” Statements: Use “I” statements to let the person know you are talking about how you feel and let them know it is not a negative about them.

4. Offer Appreciation: Thank the person fro the time that you shared together and mention a couple of positive experiences.

5. Be prepared for their reaction: Be prepared for their reaction, which may include disappointment or sadness. The person may respond in a negative way because they are upset. Try to remain calm and be understanding.

Remember that nobody likes to be dumped, so be kind and respectful as you navigate the conversation.

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How to let a person know that you're not into them

Shelly felt guilty letting James know he wasn’t her type

Shelly sat across from James, fidgeting with the edge of her napkin. She knew she had to tell him the truth, but the words caught in her throat. James had been nothing but kind and thoughtful, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was leading him on.

As they chatted over dinner, Shelly struggled to find the right moment to bring up the topic. Finally, with a deep breath, she blurted out, “James, I need to tell you something.”

James looked at her, concern flickering in his eyes. “What is it, Shelly?”

“I… I don’t think we’re a good match,” she stammered. “I feel guilty for leading you on, but I don’t think you’re my type.”

James paused for a moment, his expression unreadable. Shelly braced herself for disappointment or anger, but to her surprise, he simply nodded.

“I appreciate your honesty, Shelly,” James said softly. “I’ve had a feeling that we might not be on the same page. I value our time together, but I understand if we’re not meant to be more than friends.”

Shelly felt a weight lift off her shoulders. She had expected the conversation to be awkward and tense, but James’s understanding response put her at ease. They finished their meal with lighter hearts, and although their romantic connection had come to an end, their friendship only grew stronger.

In the end, Shelly realized that honesty was the best policy, and that being true to herself and to others was the most important thing of all.

The Role of counselling and self care

I Should Have Said Media will earn a commission after clicking links on this page at no additional cost to you. Learn more.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home. 

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

Got any comments, questions or tips for letting someone know they are not your type? Share them in the comments below.

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