The top ten list of snappy comebacks below will serve you in most situations, from surviving a family dinner with your annoying relatives to pushing back on your obnoxious coworker. Sometimes you need to stick your elbows out a little bit and let people know they need to back off.
These comebacks are light enough that the person will still speak to you afterward, yet give you peace of mind as you “judo” their comment back to them.
Say these in a joking way with a smile on your face.
Top Ten Witty Comebacks for all Occasions
- You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
- Your inappropriateness knows no boundaries.
- I’m sorry but I didn’t order a glass of your opinion.
- I’d rather be X than be you.
- I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person!
- There are 7 trillion nerves in the human body, and you are capable of getting on every one of them.
- If you’re going to be close minded… do you mind being closed mouthed as well?
- Some people are like clouds. When they disappear it’s a brighter day.
- Where’s your off button?
- If I give you a nice big straw will you go suck the fun out of someone else’s day?