Use our great comebacks when you need clever comebacks for any occasion. Check out our top ten comeback lists at

It is always a good idea to keep a few snappy comebacks in your back pocket so you will be ready for any situation.

The top ten list of snappy comebacks below will serve you in most situations, from surviving a family dinner with your annoying relatives to pushing back on your obnoxious coworker. Sometimes you need to stick your elbows out a little bit and let people know they need to back off.

These comebacks are light enough that the person will still speak to you afterward, yet give you peace of mind as you “judo” their comment back to them.

Say these in a joking way with a smile on your face.


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Top Ten Witty Comebacks for all Occasions

1. You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

2. Your inappropriateness knows no boundaries.

3. I’m sorry but I didn’t order a glass of your opinion.

4. I’d rather be X than be you.

5. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person!

6. There are 7 trillion nerves in the human body, and you are capable of getting on every one of them.

7. If you’re going to be close minded… do you mind being closed mouthed as well?

8. Some people are like clouds. When they disappear it’s a brighter day.

9. Where’s your off button?

10. If I give you a nice big straw will you go suck the fun out of someone else’s day?

More top ten comeback lists you might like

The Role of counselling and self care

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When you are dealing with someone who is annoying in most situations and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home.

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with people in any given situation? Share them in the comments below.

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  1. I’m being bullied and comebacks have made things worse … AND the bullies heard me say I was going to tell a teacher so they got there first and made it out to be that I was the bully…. now I am in trouble even though I told the truth and didn’t deney any actuall facts …. what do I even do?

    1. Hi Ally,

      I think you need to tell your parents what has been going on, the full story. I think you need your family to be an advocate for you and talk to the teacher and explain the other kids were actually bullying you.

      Don’t use any more comebacks if it is making your situation worse.

      I know you feel terrible right now, but this is a moment in time. Things will get better for you. Ask your parents for help and guidance.


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