Urban dictionary has a great definition of selfish, “Having desires that conflict with the selfishness of others.”
Often manipulative people will call you selfish to try and guilt you into doing what they want. If you fall for the selfish label you will probably give into their controlling behavior and spend your days catering to someone else’s agenda. We all need to be selfish at times, your life would be a mess if you constantly put other people’s need ahead of your own.
People who put their own needs first are not selfish they are healthy. Before taking off on an airplane, the flight attendants will instruct you to put your oxygen mask on first, before you help other passengers. This is an important survival rule because if you run out of oxygen, you can’t help anyone else with their oxygen mask.
If somebody is annoying you by calling you selfish, use one of our fun comebacks. Tell us which your favorite answer is and vote the best comeback.
15 Best comebacks for being called selfish
1. I can only please one person per day and today I chose me!
2. Yeah, I totally wanted to drop everything I was doing today and care for your bullshit.
3. If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased.
4. Yes, I’m selfish. I do not want to share you with people.
5. And by selfish do you mean I will not do exactly what you want me to do….
6. I am not selfish for wanting to be treated well.
7. Choosing yourself isn’t selfish.
8. I didn’t become selfish, I became harder to manipulate. Don’t confuse the two.
9. Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live. It is asking other people to live as one wishes to live.
10. Let’s be honest, selfish is you wanting me to live your lifestyle, rather than my own.
11. It’s funny that whenever I speak up for myself, or voice any concerns on something I feel is wrong I’m called selfish.
12. Narcissists always accuse you of what they are guilty of because they don’t actually see you, they just see a projection of themselves.
13. People who call you selfish seem to feel entitled to your time, resources and connections.
14. Why yes, I am the most selfish and self-centred person you’ll ever meet. Now please leave me alone.
15. People who don’t respect boundaries love to call other people selfish.
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Definition of a selfish person
When someone’s selfish, they’re mainly focused on their own issues without thinking about others. These folks might put their goals first, not really caring about what their friends, family, or community needs. Compromising or sacrificing for others? Nope, that’s not their thing.
They might not get it or care much. Being selfish could show they’re not too confident, and emotions? They might struggle with those. This behavior can create tension in social situations. What you need to do is be understanding and show you care about others. Don’t go down the selfish road that messes up relationships and hurts people.
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What to do if people call you selfish
Dealing with folks calling you selfish can be tough, but it’s a chance to learn and grow. Check out these tips for handling it:
- Listen to feedback – Hear what others say, even if you disagree. Being open to feedback helps you see how your actions look to them.
- Practice empathy: Imagine how your actions affect others. Show you care and work on your people skills and emotional smarts.
- Compromise: Be ready to give in a bit and make sacrifices for your loved ones. Sometimes, their needs should come first, or find a solution that works for everyone.
- Talk it out: Chat well with others. Make your needs clear and be open to theirs too. Finding a balance matters.
- Get some support: If being selfish messes with your relationships, lean on friends, family, or a therapist for help. They can guide you toward better habits.
Hey, just so you know, being labeled selfish doesn’t slap a permanent label on you. We all goof up sometimes. Take it as a chance to level up—learn and improve from what you hear. Make a deal with yourself to work on cooler habits that show you value and treat others like the awesome beings they are.
Julie’s narcissistic mother constantly called her selfish
Julie’s narcissistic mother constantly called her selfish, despite the fact that Julie was always going out of her way to help others. Her mother would make comments about how Julie only cared about herself and was never there for her family. These comments were hurtful and made Julie feel like she could never do enough to please her mother.
One day, Julie decided to confront her mother about her behaviour. She explained how her constant criticism was affecting their relationship and how it made her feel like she could never do anything right. She also pointed out all of the ways in which she had been there for her family and how her mother’s comments were unfair and hurtful.
As usual, her mother didn’t get it and didn’t listen. She continue on about how Julie was selfish and her sister the golden child, who in her mother’s eyes could do no wrong, was a much better daughter.
Julie finally saw the light and decided that she wouldn’t waste another moment of her life trying to get along with her mother. She realized that it was time to put herself first, and there are some people that you can never please, no matter how much you do for them.
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When you are dealing with being called selfish by others and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.
Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home.
Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.