We’ve all felt more popular at certain times in our lives than others. It is a horrible feeling when you feel invisible and other people around you find it so easy to make friends.
Being popular or unpopular truthfully doesn’t mean much except that you are hanging out with the right crowd or you’re not. If you are into mountain climbing or you want to make a difference in the world, you are not going to fit in hanging out with a bunch of stoners. What’s important is finding the tribe that’s a good fit for you.
Once you’ve found your tribe it will become a lot easier to connect with people because you are interested and excited about the same things. Different tribes assign high social status to different attributes, for example, entrepreneurs may value someone who takes action and makes things happen over people who have advanced degrees and like to sit around and postulate ideas.
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Whether you are popular or not, it doesn’t change how funny, kind, creative or amazing you are. Don’t worry about what other people think, most people are so focused on themselves that they really give very little thought to what other people are doing.
A lot of the people who are popular in high school don’t go on to accomplish much and look back at high school as the big time in their life.
Here are some comforting words for someone who feels unpopular.
What to say to someone who feels unpopular
1. Life is about finding people who are your kind of crazy.
2. Your value doesn’t decrease on someone’s inability to see your worth.
3. You don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.
4. Not caring what people think is one of the best decisions you will ever make.
5. Whatever you do good or bad people will always have something negative to say.
6. People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it has anything to do with you.
7. People are going to judge you anyway, so forget everyone and just be yourself.
8. If you constantly have to put in effort to be friends with someone, that friendship isn’t worth it.
9. Don’t worry about those who talk behind your back. They are behind you for a reason.
10. Some people come into your life as blessing as others come as life lessons.
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Definition of unpopular
The term “unpopular” refers to something that is not widely favoured or approved by the majority of people.
Unpopular can refer to a person, an idea, behaviour or an opinion that is not well-liked or widely accepted within a particular group, community, or society. Something unpopular may lack friends, approval from others because of differing perspectives, tastes, or beliefs.
How to deal with feeling unpopular
Feeling unpopular can be challenging, but there are ways to address this:
1. Focus on self-acceptance: You have a lot to offer the world, focus on your strengths and what you can do. Whether people like you or not doesn’t define your worth.
2. Cultivate real connections: Seek out people who like you for who you are and appreciate what you have to offer. Having a few good friends is better than having a 100 acquaintances.
3. Engage in activities you enjoy: Do actives that bring you joy and you might find like minded people who enjoy the same things as you do.
4. Seek support: If you feel unpopular because you have been excluded, seek support from a counsellor or a trusted friend or family member.
Remember that popularity is not the sole measure of personal happiness and fulfillment. Prioritize genuine connections and self-acceptance as you navigate these feelings.
James felt unpopular because he was shy
James found himself feeling unpopular as he navigated his college experience, largely due to his shy nature. His reserved demeanour made it challenging for him to initiate conversations and form connections with his classmates.
This resulted in a sense of isolation and a lack of close friendships, leading James to feel disconnected from the college community. Despite his academic achievements, his shyness hindered his ability to fully engage in social interactions, leaving him feeling overlooked and unnoticed in the bustling college environment.
Over time, James recognized the impact of his shyness on his college experience and decided to take small steps to overcome his social barriers. He gradually pushed himself out of his comfort zone, engaging in small group discussions, attending social events, and seeking out like-minded individuals with whom he could relate.
Through these efforts, James began to form meaningful connections and slowly gained confidence in social settings. As he opened up to others, he discovered that many students appreciated his thoughtful and considerate nature, and he soon found himself building genuine friendships. With time and perseverance, James’s initial feelings of being unpopular gave way to a sense of belonging and acceptance within the college community.
The Role of counselling and self care
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When you are dealing with someone who feels unpopular and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.
Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home.
Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.
As weird as this may sound, the idea of forcing friendships is a two-way street. Forcing, or attempting to force oneself on people who don’t want him/her around is counterproductive, and will backfire, in more ways than one. Yet, forcing oneself to associate with a person or persons who one really DOESN’T like, for whatever reason(s), just for the sake of having friends is equally counterproductive, because like the results of one forcing him/herself on others who don’t want them, the latter can also produce anger, depression, antipathy, and an equal feeling of worthlessness, if one gets the drift.
My daughter isn’t feeling very popular at the moment, I will try a few of these on her. If only she could see that high school isn’t the rest of your life. Thks for creating these.