How to respond if you are called SELF ABSORBED

A self-absorbed individual is a person who is consumed with their own feelings, situation and they are oblivious to how they impact the people around them.

Everyone goes through stages in their life when they become self-absorbed, think of exam time, when your parents got divorced or when you were dumped by a friend. It is hard to focus on anyone else when you are in emotional turmoil or during a stressful period.

Jill was going through a really hard time in her life, in fact, it was so challenging that she didn’t even tell close friends about it. Her husband wasn’t working and she supporting him and paying for everything. Some things seem too personal to discuss with friends and she didn’t want to dump her troubles on others. One day a friend told her that she was self-absorbed lately, she apologized and explained a bit of what is going on and that she hoped things would be better going forward.

It can be shocking when someone calls you self-absorbed, especially if you don’t see yourself that way. Next time you are called self-absorbed used one of our clever comebacks to shut the person up.

Of course, it will depend on who says it, but go ahead, tell us what you think and vote for the best answer.

Best comebacks for being called self-absorbed

1. Well aren’t you just a fun filled little lollipop dipped in psycho.

2. I’m sorry that I’m too busy dealing with my senseless, self-absorbed bullshit to deal with yours.

3. Just shut your mouth and that bullshit will stop falling out of it.

4. Thanks for reminding me why I don’t feel guilty that I can’t stand you.

5. Sorry my self absorption didn’t get in the way of yours.

6. I don’t respect you enough to care what your opinion is.

Definition of a self-absorbed person

Ever met those folks who are all about themselves, ignoring everyone else? Yup, that’s self-absorption. They’re big on their looks, achievements, and status, often forgetting about empathy or others’ feelings. They’ll hog conversations, cut in, and miss social cues, coming off as super self-centered. 

Usually, it’s tied to insecurity, low self-esteem, or not handling their feelings well. To keep things positive, show empathy, kindness, and respect to others, and steer clear of that self-absorbed stuff that can mess up relationships.

How to deal with being called self-absorbed

So, being called self-absorbed isn’t the easiest thing, but hey, it’s a chance to grow. Here’s how to deal:

  1. Hear ’em out: Listen up when folks give you feedback. Even if you don’t totally agree, being open to what they have to say.
  2. Feel their vibes: Put yourself in others’ shoes and think about how your actions affect them. Show empathy, get those social skills on point.
  3. Turn the spotlight: Make a real effort to pay attention to others. Listen actively, ask questions, show you care.
  4. Stay down-to-earth: We all have strengths and weaknesses. Stay humble, skip the bragging. Learn from others and build connections.
  5. Get backup: If your self-absorbed tendencies mess up relationships, lean on friends, family, or a therapist. They’ll help you build healthier habits.

Just so you know, being called self-absorbed doesn’t label you forever – we all stumble up sometimes. Take it as a chance to learn and improve. Make a deal with yourself to develop better habits that show respect and kindness to others.


Our FREE Starter Guide will show you the 3 simple steps you can take right now to stand up for yourself so that you can feel confident. It’s a game changer–get it free for a limited time!

More comebacks you might like

The Role of counselling and self care

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When you are dealing with being called self-absorbed by others and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home. 

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

self absorbed meme

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with someone calls you self-absorbed. Share them in the comments below.

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  1. How do I deal with a control freak/overly serious person? She is my project group member and called me arrogant for trying to simply make plans for the group to meet up. I took the initiative to suggest it first, after the entire 5 person group did not respond to any of her answers for merely a day (it was a in between school day break on Wednesday, class was the very next day so we checked the group chat obviously). She wont stop blaming anyone but herself, and maybe she has a point that our work ethic is not ideal. But people dont check their social networks all the time. So how do I deal with someone like this, who keeps blaming but not self-reflecting and considering that maybe she’s being overly demanding.

    1. Hi Pen, I would try to kill her with kindness first. I would tell her that you were helping her out since nobody was responding. I am not sure if you are in uni or highschool but I know teamwork can be a big part of the grade. If she insults you again try a few of these:

      Did you mean to be so rude?
      Well, I think we’ve reached the end of this conversation.
      No really, it’s adorable when you blame everyone but yourself.
      Excuses are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink.
      If everywhere you go there’s a problem.. Guess what?
      Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains.

      Good luck,


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