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    • One time this guy called me weak, I called him Voldemort after that

      The next time (this one is actually about weight) he said I was Humpty Dumpty, I then told him, what’s you say captain underpants?

      I now realise I should’ve said,
      “At least I can get information to my head with my thin skull, either you have a thick skull, or maybe you’re just severely stupid. I’m actually very concerned for whoever let you pass pre-k.”

    • In reply to Rishi.
      THAT Would Be A TOTALLY GOOD “REVENGE” Statement To MY Nut Case Cyber BULLY: Producer L1NDSAY Show!!! (Who’s UGLY HATEFUL COMMENTS SENT ME HERE Today) (As A Matter Of FACT My “DEAR” NUT CASE Cyber BULLY Producer L1NDSAY Show: 1’M Just The OPPOS1TE Of FAT And Actually APPEAR Really BONEY Actually You CLUELESS BLUNT Headed LOSER L1NDSAY!

  1. There’s a few I love,
    You’re fat! “Oh go pick on someone your own size! There’s a bus in the parking lot.”
    “What? Is there a mirror behind me?”
    “Ah I see you graduated from the school of obvious, thank you, Captain”
    “Who’s eyes you using? tell them they need a check up”
    “Well I’m sorry my stomach isn’t as flat as your chest!”

  2. (Only say to boys)
    Person: you’re fat
    Me: Awww.. aren’t you sweet! Back at ya, maybe we could workout sometime? Hmmm I know this amazing gym, oops dang it (shakes head*) I forgot it’s only for girls…. actually don’t worry you’ll fit right in!

    (Anyone)
    Person: no one likes you!
    Me: Well.. the only people who don’t like me, are you and your friends! But you are a bunch of no ones! So I guess no one does like me?!

    (Anyone)
    Person: you’re ugly
    Me: God made us all beautiful… but what the hell happened to you!

    (Anyone)
    Person: Annoys you*
    Me: roses are red, violets are blue! I have five fingers and the middle ones for you.

  3. This is the best comeback for fat people like me:
    At least I’m not as poor as you, I can buy as much food as I want.

  4. Yes I am fat, it just reminds people that I am soft. (as I was told by my friend) Some of us like our buns firm, some of us like them soft, some of us like them undercooked so we can go back to the bakery and complain. (looks at person insulting you)

    In case anyone is wondering why a person would like their buns undercooked, some people like to complain so it is an added bonus.

  5. If someone called me fat I would say, “Let’s be honest here, you’re just saying that because you feel insecure about your life so you inflict emotional pain on others for your own, miserable, lonely, pleasure.”

  6. Say : Gosh! Ain’t you skinny!

    Or if they talk of your losing weight, say : Well, I can help you get in shape too.

    You can also answer with crushing looks.

  7. So my friend called me a sack of potatoes and said “you could be like peter Kay, and that’s just the belly!” Like what do I say back someone help me??

  8. I’m getting ready for the chance of food price increases that way I won’t have to worry like you about starving.

  9. I am sorry you’re so ugly inside that you feel like trying to abuse me today. I’m ok with who I am!

    Or

    Thank you! I have been working hard to have you recognize my inadequacies. Have a great day!

  10. When the “popular” girl called me fat, I responded with:
    “I’m 70 percent water… I’m not fat, I’m flooded!”

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