Kind words when things don't work out for someone

We have all had times in our lives when things didn’t work out as planned, you may have had a dream of going to a school or working for a certain company. Sometimes your initial dream doesn’t pan out and life takes you on a detour.

When you have put in all the effort to achieve your dream, it can be disappointing when something you have been working towards doesn’t work out the way you envisioned that it would. Sometimes life pushes you in another direction because the universe has something even better planned for you. Things not working out are just a slight diversion towards an even bigger goal.

You can’t always change the situation, but you certainly can control your reaction to what has happened. You may not get into the university you always wanted to go to and then you find the school you were accepted in has an even better program that is suited to your needs.

There is a very interesting book called The Surrender Experiment where a guy follows what the universe had planned for him. He couldn’t have dreamed up a bigger life if he had tried.

Here are a few kind words you can say to someone who is upset with an outcome of a big dream.

Kind words for someone when things don’t work out as expected

1. Sometimes your plans don’t work out because god has better ones.

2. In Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.

3. When nothing goes right… go left.

4. When obstacles arise, you change your direction to reach your goal, you do not change your decision to get there.

5. Winners are not people who never fail, but people who never quit.

6. Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.

7. Sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall into place.

8. Failure s nothing more than a chance to revise your strategy.

9. Just stick with it… What seems hard now, will one day be your warm up.

10. When things don’t work out it is never a failure but always a lesson.

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Why we get upset when things don’t work out as planned

We may feel disappointed when things don’t work out as planned or as we have envisioned a goal. We put time, energy and work into making something happen and when it doesn’t pan out we feel saddened, disappointed and frustrated. 

As humans, we want to control outcomes and we seek predictability. When you have put in the work, and haven’t got the outcome you’re looking for it is natural to feel upset.

It may not seem like it at the time, but setbacks can lead to growth and learning as you find another way to achieve the outcome you are looking for.

Best way to support a person when things don’t work out as planned

When you are trying to support a person who feels that things haven’t worked out as they envisioned, be empathetic and listen to how they are feeling. It is important not to minimize the situation, and to validate their emotions and how they are feeling.

Reiterate the person’s strengths and how they have overcome challenges in the past. Let them know you are there to help with problem solving and finding new solutions. It takes a while for people to emotionally process what has happened, so be patient as they navigate their way through the situation.

Famous people whose plans didn’t work out but they ended up doing something better

1. Vera Wang known for her designer wedding gowns, she was originally trying to make the U.S. Olympic figure-skating team and didn’t qualify. Vera didn’t succeed with her skating dream and later founded her luxury wedding brand and has had tremendous success.

2. J.K. Rowling was rejected by many publishers who probably feel embarrassed now rejecting one of the best selling books of all time.

3. Walt Disney was told he lacked creativity from his newspaper job and was fired. He then went bankrupt trying to make his dreams come true  before creating the successful Disney brand and theme parks.

4. Stephen King’s first book faced 30 rejections before finally being published. Mr. King is now a prolific author who is loved by many.

These high profile individuals faced many setbacks and failures but kept going and found success in unexpected ways after persevering through challenges.

How to be happy when things don't work out as planned

The Role of counselling and self care

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Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home. 

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with someone who is upset that things didn’t work out as they expected? Share them in the comments below.

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  1. I tell my daughter to remember that sometimes that not getting what you want turns out to be a wonderful stroke of luck. Have you ever had that when something didn’t work out, then something way better happened?

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