Find out what to say when you are told to CALM DOWN. | www.ishouldhavesaid.net

Have you ever had an annoying friend or relative purposely get you all worked up and angry and then tell you to calm down? Yeah, they know how to push your buttons and deliberately irritate you, then they act all sweet and innocent like they have your best interests at heart.

Someone telling you to calm down is basically insinuating that you’re crazy for reacting in the way you did. Having someone order you about when you are pissed off makes the situation worse.

When your buttons have been pushed, and steam is hissing from your ears, use one of our clever comebacks to let them know their behavior is not OK.

If you have a better comeback, leave it in the comments below.

19 Best comebacks when someone tells you to calm down

1. Don’t make me angry and tell me to calm down. That’s like stabbing someone and wondering why they’re bleeding.

2. Do not summon my inner bitch. She doesn’t play nice.

3. Ever notice to people who told you to calm down are the one’s who got you mad in the first place.

4. Telling an angry woman to calm down works about as well as baptizing a cat.

5. I’m Italian and I cannot calm down.

6. No I won’t calm down. I have every right to be very upset right now.

7. Don’t try to distract me from a problem that you actually caused.

8. My reaction to your disrespect is really not the problem or issue here.

9. I’m pissed off and you don’t get to criticize how I respond to a problem you caused.

10. I don’t recall asking for your opinion. Please focus on your ow life instead of causing me more stress and wondering why I am not calm.

11. I am entitled to fee upset considering the situation I am dealing with. Stop invalidating my feelings by telling me to calm down.

12. I’m allowed to feel emotions and be upset considering what happened. Go try and control someone else.

13. I have a legitimate reason for being upset right now. Once you have sorted out the issue you have caused, I will calm down.

14. I’m sorry, but you telling me to calm down is just not very helpful.

15. I have a right to have feelings even if is uncomfortable for you.

16. This is me calm. And trust me, you really don’t want to make me angry.

17. You have been given several opportunities to calmly resolve the situation but you haven’t done it.

18. No one ever has calmed down by being told to! Stop it now.

19. OK then , I’ll calm down when you shut your mouth and start opening your ears.

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Why do people say “calm down”?

People will often tell you that you need to calm down if you are displaying strong emotions or you are agitated. They may try to help you regain control of your emotions, in attempt to de-escalate the situation.

If we have had something bad happen to us and we are having trouble processing it, we may not be thinking as clearly as we normally do. When a person tells you to “calm down” they probably have the good intention of helping you through a situation, getting you to reevaluate and collect your thoughts before making an impulsive decision.

The phrase “calm down” can trigger a lot of people as it can be perceived as condescending or invalidate a persons’ feelings. Be careful how you use this phrase, and may sure your intent is to say it with empathy.

More clever comebacks you might like

How to deal with people telling you to calm down

If someone tells you to calm down, it can be frustrating and may even make you feel more upset. Here are some tips on how to deal with this situation:

1. Take a deep breath: Take a moment to centre yourself, take a deep breath and then respond instead of react.

2. Acknowledge how you feel: If something has happened you probably have a valid reason for being upset. It is OK to feel angry or mad if something distressing has happened.

3. Try to communicate calmly: Explain that you have a right to feel upset and you would appreciate it if they stoped telling you to calm down.

4. Tell them what you need: Ask for the support that you want and need, whether that be some alone time or a couple of hours to process your emotions.

5. Boundary up: If a person is antagonizing you by saying that you to calm down it is time to put some boundaries I pace. Ask the person to stop saying calm down and that you don’t appreciate them saying it repeatedly.

10 famous people who were told to calm down

1. Taylor Swift

2. Justin Bieber

3. Britney Spears

4. Lindsay Lohan

5. Kanye West

6. Mariah Carey

7. Madonna

8. Charlie Sheen

9. Mel Gibson

10. Alec Baldwin

When someone says you need to CLAM DOWN

The Role of counselling and self care

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When you are dealing with a person who tells you to calm down and you find it stressful, consider getting support from a professional. Talking to a counselor is a great way to work through a challenging situation, and help you find some strategies to work through the person’s behaviour.

Better Help is a great resource where you can talk to a counselor from the comfort of your own home. 

Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish, and you will feel better in the long run.

Got any comments, questions or tips for dealing with people who tell you to calm down? Share them in the comments below.

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4 Comments

  1. Say: When I’m calm I like to rant about the person that upset me. oh Wait! Surprise Surprise. Thats you. Take a hint!

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